You have been working in a company for the last two years. Recently, your computer in the office has started giving some problems, and it is affecting your work performance. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: - describe the problem - explain how it is affecting your work - write what you want him to do regarding it
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to express my concern over the problem related to my computer, which has adversely affected my productivity, due to which I could not meet the deadlines.
Let me inform you that I have been working as a software engineer in your company for two years. I have been allotted my personal computer. Everything was going well. I was taken aback that it stopped working. I tried to put it right, however, all in vain. I had spent two consecutive days trying to repair it, but it could not be put right.
Furthermore, it has a bad impact on my productivity. Now, I have been delaying all my important meetings. Moreover, there are only two personal computers, which other employees have already used. Therefore, it will be a heavy loss as I have done an important deal with the overseas client but now have to wait or lose this opportunity. Furthermore, it has been escalating my stress as I had made great efforts to make that meeting successful.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. State concern directly Original: concern over the problem related to my computer Suggested revision: concern about my computer problem Why it matters: The revision removes wordy and indirect phrasing.
- 2. Fix result link Original: , due to which Suggested revision: ; as a result, Why it matters: A semicolon and explicit result linker avoid the repeated and ambiguous which construction.
- 3. Use continuing tense Original: I could not meet the deadlines Suggested revision: I have been unable to meet deadlines Why it matters: The present perfect describes an ongoing effect of the current computer problem.
- 4. Correct computer phrase Original: allotted my personal computer Suggested revision: assigned a computer Why it matters: An employee is assigned a computer; allotted my personal computer is not natural English.
- 5. Correct clause pattern Original: I was taken aback that Suggested revision: I was surprised when Why it matters: Taken aback does not naturally take a that-clause in this context.
- 6. Fix contrast structure Original: , however, all in vain Suggested revision: , but without success Why it matters: But without success forms a grammatical contrast with the preceding repair attempt.
- 7. Correct past tense Original: I had spent Suggested revision: I spent Why it matters: The simple past is appropriate because no later past reference point requires the past perfect.
- 8. Keep agent clear Original: it could not be put right Suggested revision: I could not fix it Why it matters: The active clause states clearly that the writer's repair attempts failed.
- 9. Use standard collocation Original: bad Suggested revision: negative Why it matters: Negative impact is the standard formal collocation.
- 10. Describe current use Original: personal computers, which other employees have already used Suggested revision: computers, which are already in use by other employees Why it matters: The present passive construction shows that the computers are currently unavailable.
- 11. Use natural collocation Original: heavy Suggested revision: significant Why it matters: Significant naturally describes the seriousness of a possible business loss.
- 12. Correct deal collocation Original: done Suggested revision: arranged Why it matters: Arrange a deal is more natural for a transaction that has not yet been completed.
Suggested Rewrites
- concern over the problem related to my computer concern about my computer problem
- , due to which ; as a result,
- I could not meet the deadlines I have been unable to meet deadlines
- allotted my personal computer assigned a computer
- I was taken aback that I was surprised when
- , however, all in vain , but without success
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly explains that the computer has stopped working and develops several consequences for productivity, meetings, and a client deal. However, it omits the required request for managerial action and ends without a closing, leaving the letter incomplete. The highest priority is to add a direct, specific request for repair or replacement, then finish with an appropriate closing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The computer problem and its effects are developed, but the required request for action is completely missing and the letter is unfinished.
Add a direct request asking the manager to arrange an urgent repair or provide a replacement computer.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves clearly from the fault to its consequences, though the progression becomes repetitive and lacks a concluding request paragraph.
Organise the letter into problem, impact, and requested solution paragraphs, ending with a concise closing.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary conveys the workplace problem and its consequences, but several word choices and collocations are awkward or inaccurate.
Use natural expressions such as “assigned a computer,” “missed deadlines,” “shared computers are occupied,” and “secure the client deal.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex forms are attempted and meaning remains clear, but tense control, clause structure, and punctuation are inconsistent.
Use consistent present or present-perfect forms for the continuing problem and split overloaded sentences into accurate clauses.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have been working in a company for the last two years. Recently, your computer in the office has started giving some problems, and it is affecting your work performance. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- describe the problem
- explain how it is affecting your work
- write what you want him to do regarding it
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.