You have been to a business meeting at another company and saw a piece of equipment which can be useful for your company too. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: - describe the piece of equipment you have seen - why having the same equipment would be useful for your company - offer your assistance in buying the equipment
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to recommend a piece of equipment for our company which I believe would be highly useful. I saw this equipment at another company when I attended a business meeting there about a week ago. This useful piece of equipment, I am talking about, is a foldable whiteboard. Of course, we already have a large whiteboard in our meeting and conference room, but the problem with this large whiteboard is that it is really inconvenient to carry it to another room if we want to do some important presentation there. But, luckily, this whiteboard would solve that problem for us since we can always fold it and carry it anywhere at ease. Besides, this foldable whiteboard can be broken into pieces, like some furniture, which will make it easy for us to place it on almost any kind or size of surface. And, this foldable whiteboard becomes like an average size briefcase, about 24 inches long and 18 inches wide, after folding it. So, if you think that this foldable whiteboard could be a piece of useful equipment for our office, I would be more than happy to assist you in buying it. Yours faithfully, Jack Nicholas
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant noun Original: writing this letter Suggested revision: writing Why it matters: The recipient can already see that the communication is a letter.
- 2. Fix relative reference Original: for our company which I believe would be highly useful Suggested revision: that I believe would be highly useful for our company Why it matters: The revision makes the relative clause modify equipment rather than company.
- 3. Avoid duplicated room terms Original: meeting and conference room Suggested revision: meeting room Why it matters: Meeting room already conveys the function described by both overlapping nouns.
- 4. Avoid repeated noun Original: problem with this large whiteboard Suggested revision: problem with it Why it matters: The pronoun provides a clear reference without repeating large whiteboard.
- 5. Use precise adjective Original: really inconvenient Suggested revision: impractical Why it matters: Impractical expresses the equipment's limitation more concisely in a business letter.
- 6. Use give a presentation Original: do some important presentation Suggested revision: give an important presentation Why it matters: English uses give rather than do with presentation, and the singular noun needs an article.
- 7. Use formal transition Original: But, luckily, Suggested revision: Fortunately, Why it matters: The revision removes the incorrect comma after But and creates a smoother business-style transition.
- 8. Correct ease phrase Original: at Suggested revision: with Why it matters: With ease is the standard expression for doing something easily.
- 9. Clarify safe disassembly Original: broken into pieces Suggested revision: disassembled into sections Why it matters: Broken suggests damage, whereas disassembled describes separating reusable components.
- 10. Make comparison precise Original: some Suggested revision: modular Why it matters: Modular specifies the type of furniture that can be separated into sections.
- 11. Match conditional tense Original: will Suggested revision: would Why it matters: Would matches the hypothetical benefit described throughout the recommendation.
- 12. Correct surface phrase Original: any kind or size of surface Suggested revision: surfaces of various sizes Why it matters: The revised plural phrase expresses the range of suitable surfaces grammatically.
Suggested Rewrites
- writing this letter writing
- for our company which I believe would be highly useful that I believe would be highly useful for our company
- meeting and conference room meeting room
- problem with this large whiteboard problem with it
- really inconvenient impractical
- do some important presentation give an important presentation
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter covers all three requirements with a clear purpose, useful dimensions, and a direct offer to help with the purchase. Its main limitation is repetitive expression and occasionally awkward descriptions of how the board folds, moves, and fits on surfaces, which reduce precision and flow. Prioritise grouping the ideas into distinct paragraphs and replacing repeated wording with concise, natural descriptions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The equipment is described in relevant detail, its practical benefit is explained, and assistance with buying it is explicitly offered.
Clarify exactly how the detachable parts help the company, since the claim about placing the board on surfaces is difficult to visualise.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter follows a logical sequence, but repeated nouns, sentence-opening connectors, and the single-block format make progression less polished.
Organise the description, benefits, and offer into separate paragraphs and vary how sentences connect.
Lexical Resource
The response uses sufficient topic-specific language, but frequent repetition of 'foldable whiteboard' and several awkward collocations limit flexibility.
Replace repeated wording and use natural phrases such as 'carry it with ease', 'give a presentation', and 'briefcase-sized'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are frequent and generally controlled, though some punctuation, article, and clause choices are awkward.
Remove unnecessary commas and refine constructions such as 'the equipment I am referring to' and 'an average-sized briefcase'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have been to a business meeting at another company and saw a piece of equipment which can be useful for your company too. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- describe the piece of equipment you have seen
- why having the same equipment would be useful for your company
- offer your assistance in buying the equipment
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.