You have been working in a company for the last two years. Recently, your computer in the office has started giving some problems and it is affecting your work performance. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: - describe the problem - explain how it is affecting your work - write what you want him to do regarding it
Sample Response
Dear Mr Wayne, I understand that you probably do not want to hear about another issue amid so many other problems, but I just do not have any other option but to inform you of the issue. The problem, I am talking about, is related to my desktop computer which I have been working with for the last one year so. In fact, my computer is giving me trouble on and off for more than a month as it keeps freezing on me momentarily, forcing me to stop my work until it comes back again. Sometimes, my computer becomes so hot that I become a little afraid to even touch it after working on it for a bit longer period of time. Needless to say, it is also running out of memory since many different pieces of software have been installed in it over the years, which is actually making the machine run even slower. Naturally, because of these reasons, the productivity at my work is getting affected rather negatively. It takes me more time to finish a task that should not have taken such a lengthy time. It demotivates me as well.
Therefore, I would really appreciate it if you take proper steps to arrange to have a technician fix my computer at your earliest convenience.
Yours sincerely, Rob Freeman
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove interrupting commas Original: The problem, I am talking about, Suggested revision: The problem I am talking about Why it matters: The relative clause directly identifies the problem and should not be separated by commas.
- 2. Use computer verb Original: which I have been working with Suggested revision: which I have been using Why it matters: People use a computer; work with is less precise here.
- 3. Fix duration phrase Original: for the last one year so Suggested revision: for the last year or so Why it matters: Or so follows the time period to show approximation.
- 4. Use ongoing perfect tense Original: my computer is giving me trouble Suggested revision: my computer has been giving me trouble Why it matters: The problem began more than a month ago and continues, requiring the present perfect continuous.
- 5. Describe recurring fault Original: freezing on me momentarily Suggested revision: freezing intermittently Why it matters: Intermittently accurately describes a problem that repeatedly stops and resumes.
- 6. Name resumed response Original: until it comes back again Suggested revision: until it responds again Why it matters: A computer responds again after freezing; comes back is vague.
- 7. Use concise duration Original: a bit longer period of time Suggested revision: an extended period Why it matters: The revision removes redundant and imprecise duration wording.
- 8. Fix software preposition Original: in Suggested revision: on Why it matters: Software is installed on a computer.
- 9. Use personal productivity Original: the productivity at my work Suggested revision: my productivity Why it matters: The task concerns the writer's work performance, which my productivity states directly.
- 10. Use concise passive Original: is getting affected rather negatively Suggested revision: is being negatively affected Why it matters: The revision uses a grammatical passive and removes the redundant intensifier.
- 11. Clarify delay Original: more time to finish a task Suggested revision: longer to finish each task Why it matters: Longer directly expresses the increased completion time.
- 12. Match present situation Original: should not have taken such a lengthy time Suggested revision: should take much less time Why it matters: The sentence describes current recurring tasks, so the present tense is required.
Suggested Rewrites
- The problem, I am talking about, The problem I am talking about
- which I have been working with which I have been using
- for the last one year so for the last year or so
- my computer is giving me trouble my computer has been giving me trouble
- freezing on me momentarily freezing intermittently
- until it comes back again until it responds again
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter achieves its purpose by describing several concrete computer faults, explaining their impact on productivity and motivation, and requesting a technician in a consistently respectful tone. The detail is strong and the progression is easy to follow, though the opening is unnecessarily apologetic and several sentences are wordy or grammatically awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to make the request more concise and edit tense and conditional forms for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All required points are fully covered with specific faults, clear workplace consequences, and an actionable repair request in an appropriate register.
Open directly with the computer problem rather than speculating about the manager's willingness to hear another issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter moves logically from the faults to their effects and the requested solution, although the first body paragraph is overly long.
Separate the problem description from its impact on work so each stage of the message is immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and appropriate for a workplace complaint, but some expressions are verbose or unnatural.
Replace phrases such as a lengthy time and productivity at my work is getting affected with concise, natural alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used with generally clear meaning, but tense, relative-clause punctuation, and conditional-form errors recur.
Use the present perfect continuous for an ongoing month-long problem and would appreciate it if you could for the request.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have been working in a company for the last two years. Recently, your computer in the office has started giving some problems and it is affecting your work performance. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- describe the problem
- explain how it is affecting your work
- write what you want him to do regarding it
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.