You forget your bag in the gym and the gym management announced that it will be closed for a week for some renovation work. You need your bag as it has important things in it. Write a letter to the manager of the gym. In your letter: - introduce yourself and describe your position - give them a description of your bag - tell them what you want them to do
Sample Response
Dear Mr Andrew, I am a regular member of your True Fitness Gym in the West Delhi branch. I went to the gym last Friday, as usual, however, I was in a bit hurry for an official meeting and I forgot my bag in cupboard 167. Today I learned that the gymnasium will be closed for a week but I need the bag urgently. I am hoping that you would arrange a way to hand over the bag to me. My access card number is 99876 and I have been a member since the beginning of 2021. The authority has announced that the gym will be closed for renovation work but I need my bag along with its content urgently. My bag is black and has three zippers, one in the middle and two on the sides. It has my official laptop and wallet which includes my driving license and credit cards along with some cash. I would need them before I go to the office tomorrow morning. I would request you to kindly instruct your ward boy to assist me in getting the bag from the cupboard when I come to the gym tomorrow morning. I understand the inconvenience this might cause you, and I would really appreciate your help. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Gaurav Verma
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the branch clearly Original: your True Fitness Gym in the West Delhi branch Suggested revision: the West Delhi branch of True Fitness Gym Why it matters: The replacement uses the natural structure for identifying a company's branch.
- 2. Keep the term consistent Original: gymnasium Suggested revision: gym Why it matters: Using “gym” matches the name and wording used throughout the rest of the letter.
- 3. Punctuate the contrast Original: a week but I need Suggested revision: a week, but I need Why it matters: A comma is needed before “but” when it joins two independent clauses.
- 4. Use a direct request Original: I am hoping that you would arrange Suggested revision: I hope that you can arrange Why it matters: “Can” makes the present practical request clearer than the hypothetical “would”.
- 5. Use precise wording Original: hand over the bag to me Suggested revision: return the bag to me Why it matters: “Return” directly expresses the requested action in this lost-property situation.
- 6. Identify the gym staff Original: The authority Suggested revision: The gym management Why it matters: The gym's management is the body that announced the closure, so the reference should be specific.
- 7. Use the plural noun Original: content Suggested revision: contents Why it matters: “Contents” is the standard plural noun for the collection of items inside a bag.
- 8. Use the natural term Original: official Suggested revision: work Why it matters: “Work laptop” naturally describes a computer used for the writer's job.
- 9. Use the right verb Original: wallet which includes Suggested revision: wallet containing Why it matters: A wallet “contains” the licence, cards, and cash listed after it.
- 10. Use the standard term Original: license Suggested revision: licence Why it matters: “Driving licence” is the standard British English form used in IELTS contexts.
- 11. Use the current need Original: I would need them Suggested revision: I need these items Why it matters: The present tense and explicit noun phrase make the urgent current need clear.
- 12. Use natural wording Original: go to the office Suggested revision: leave for work Why it matters: “Leave for work” naturally describes the writer's plan for tomorrow morning.
Suggested Rewrites
- your True Fitness Gym in the West Delhi branch the West Delhi branch of True Fitness Gym
- gymnasium gym
- a week but I need a week, but I need
- I am hoping that you would arrange I hope that you can arrange
- hand over the bag to me return the bag to me
- The authority The gym management
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter communicates the urgent request effectively, gives precise identifying details, and maintains a suitably polite formal tone. Its main limitation is some repetition of the closure and urgency, together with a few unnatural expressions and article choices. The highest priority is to condense repeated information and refine collocations so that the request sounds more fluent and professionally phrased.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response fully explains the writer's position, identifies the bag and its contents, and makes a clear, appropriately polite request.
Refine the request by specifying a contact or confirmation arrangement for collecting the bag without repeating the urgency.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the situation to identification, description, and requested action, though some details are unnecessarily repeated.
Remove the second explanation that the gym is closing and begin a new paragraph when moving from identification to the bag description.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and precise for the situation, but phrases such as 'in a bit hurry' and 'along with its content' are unnatural.
Use more natural collocations, for example 'in a bit of a hurry' and 'the bag and its contents.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a range of sentence structures with generally good control, despite occasional article, punctuation, and agreement errors.
Review article use and sentence boundaries, especially around 'however,' and ensure plural nouns agree with their possessives and verbs.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You forget your bag in the gym and the gym management announced that it will be closed for a week for some renovation work. You need your bag as it has important things in it. Write a letter to the manager of the gym. In your letter:
- introduce yourself and describe your position
- give them a description of your bag
- tell them what you want them to do
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.