Some people say domestic animals, like cats, should not be reared in cities. Others say that such companion animals are beneficial to the community of a city. Which attitude do you believe to be correct?
Sample Response
From the very beginning of the human era, people can’t live without a companion. And sometimes it is seen that pets can be the best companions for many people. People often betray with others, but pets are always loyal to the master. Though rearing some domestic animals have some negative impact in cities, but in my view, such companion animals are beneficial to the community. I am giving some reason on my side.
First of all, they often help people to lessen their loneliness and become a good companion. Sometimes it is seen that people feel bored when they are alone. In that time pets can play a vital role. Especially in developed countries, people are always busy with their own life, they have no time to accompany family and friends. In this situation, pets can be the alternative of friends. For example, a few days ago, I have visited Germany where I have met a man who was alone. He had no friend, but he had five pet cats. He spent his leisure period with the cats and he never felt bored.
Secondly, domestic animals are so loyal to the master. They can do anything for the master even sacrifice their life. Last month, I have watched an animation movie where a pet dog sacrificed his life for the master. And this event is not rare in real life as well. We have read many times how a loyal pet has saved its master’s life.
Thirdly, some domestic animals have direct economic impact on society. For example, some people rear some domestic animals and earn money by selling the animals. Besides, sometimes it is seen that domestic animals are the carrier of different diseases. Some animals often carry different types of poisons. But proper vaccination and care, this adverse situation can be overcome.
In the conclusion, it can be said that domestic animals have direct and indirect beneficial impact on the society both in rural and city community.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural timeframe Original: From the very beginning of the human era Suggested revision: Throughout human history Why it matters: The replacement is a concise and idiomatic way to express the long historical period.
- 2. Remove vague framing Original: And sometimes it is seen that Suggested revision: Sometimes Why it matters: The passive framing adds no source or meaning and weakens the direct statement.
- 3. Remove preposition Original: betray with others Suggested revision: betray others Why it matters: The verb 'betray' takes a direct object and does not use 'with'.
- 4. Use measured plural Original: pets are always loyal to the master Suggested revision: pets are often loyal to their owners Why it matters: Plural 'owners' matches pets generally, and 'often' avoids an absolute claim.
- 5. Fix gerund agreement Original: rearing some domestic animals have Suggested revision: rearing domestic animals has Why it matters: The gerund phrase is singular and therefore takes 'has'.
- 6. Fix impact phrase Original: negative impact in cities Suggested revision: negative impacts on cities Why it matters: The standard construction is 'impact on', and the general noun can be plural here.
- 7. Remove double connector Original: but in my view Suggested revision: in my view Why it matters: The preceding 'Though' already marks the concession, so 'but' is redundant.
- 8. State purpose clearly Original: some reason on my side Suggested revision: some reasons for my view Why it matters: The original phrase is unidiomatic and uses singular 'reason' after 'some'.
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: lessen Suggested revision: reduce Why it matters: 'Reduce loneliness' is the standard academic collocation.
- 10. Use plural complement Original: become a good companion Suggested revision: become good companions Why it matters: The plural subject 'they' requires a plural complement.
- 11. Fix time connector Original: In that time Suggested revision: At such times Why it matters: 'At such times' naturally refers back to occasions when people are alone.
- 12. Fix number and splice Original: their own life, they have Suggested revision: their own lives, so they have Why it matters: The plural noun matches 'people', and 'so' links the result instead of leaving a comma splice.
Suggested Rewrites
- From the very beginning of the human era Throughout human history
- And sometimes it is seen that Sometimes
- betray with others betray others
- pets are always loyal to the master pets are often loyal to their owners
- rearing some domestic animals have rearing domestic animals has
- negative impact in cities negative impacts on cities
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay maintains a clear pro-pet position and follows an easy-to-track progression through companionship, loyalty, and economic benefit. However, several supporting claims are loosely connected to benefits for the urban community, and frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce authority. The highest priority is to select two strong community-level benefits, explain their consequences in depth, and support them with precise, credible examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and supported with several relevant ideas, but development is uneven and some evidence concerns individuals more than the city community.
Focus on two demonstrable community benefits and explain clearly how each one improves urban life.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically divided and the numbered sequence is easy to follow, although cohesion is mechanical and some ideas are connected abruptly.
Use topic sentences and cause-and-effect links to connect each example more smoothly to the paragraph's central claim.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic and includes some less common items, but recurring awkward collocations and word choices limit precision.
Replace combinations such as betray with others, alternative of friends, and carrier of diseases with natural, context-appropriate phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors with agreement, articles, prepositions, tense, and clause structure remain noticeable.
Edit each sentence for one complete clause pattern, paying particular attention to subject-verb agreement and avoiding though-but constructions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say domestic animals, like cats, should not be reared in cities. Others say that such companion animals are beneficial to the community of a city. Which attitude do you believe to be correct?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.