Some people say domestic animals, like cats, should not be reared in cities. Others say that such companion animals are beneficial to the community of a city. Which attitude do you believe to be correct?
Sample Response
Domestic animals have been people's companions for thousands of years. Nowadays many people have dog, cats, fish and even more exotic pets at their homes in the city. There are a lot of advantages of having a pet; however, there are also some disadvantages. My opinion is that having a domestic animal is something which can highly benefit you and your family's overall health and happiness even if you are living in the city. That’s why the city people should also be able to have pets in their homes.
There are many people who consider pets as threats to people's health. Of course, they can be right but that depends on how they are treating the animals and how much care they are putting to foster them. If you do not treat your pet correctly or do not look after it with enough care, it can become a threat to you and the people around you. It is common for dogs to become aggressive if they're being abused or taught to be violent in some way. Also, if you don't take your pet to the vet regularly or you don't clean them well enough they can spread diseases some of which could be really dangerous to people.
Despite these disadvantages having a domestic animal could make your life considerably better. It has been scientifically proven that having a pet makes you happier, more positive and optimistic. For example, buying your children a pet can make them realise what it's like to look after someone and therefore learn how to be more responsible. Pets are also highly suggested for elderly people of the city area because they could help them not feeling lonely and depressed and benefit their overall mental health. In general, I think that having a pet is an amazing experience and there should not be any restriction whether city people can have them or not. They can cure people’s loneliness; make them happier and more responsible. No matter if you're a young person or an older living in an urban area or in a metropolitan city, having a pet is something I would always recommend.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: dog Suggested revision: dogs Why it matters: The singular count noun 'dog' needs a plural form in this list.
- 2. Correct home preposition Original: at Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Pets are kept 'in' a home rather than 'at' it in this context.
- 3. Use natural preposition Original: of Suggested revision: to Why it matters: 'Advantages to doing something' is the more natural pattern here.
- 4. Use natural intensifier Original: something which can highly benefit Suggested revision: something that can greatly benefit Why it matters: 'Greatly benefit' is the standard collocation, while 'that' is concise in this defining clause.
- 5. Use precise noun phrase Original: the city people Suggested revision: city residents Why it matters: 'City residents' is the natural term for people who live in a city.
- 6. Correct consider pattern Original: consider pets as threats Suggested revision: consider pets threats Why it matters: The verb 'consider' takes an object complement without 'as'.
- 7. Clarify pronoun reference Original: they can be right Suggested revision: this concern can be valid Why it matters: The revision clearly refers to the concern about health rather than ambiguously to people.
- 8. Use simple present Original: how they are treating Suggested revision: how they treat Why it matters: The simple present is appropriate for a general condition or habit.
- 9. Use natural care phrase Original: care they are putting to foster them Suggested revision: care they take in raising them Why it matters: 'Take care in raising' expresses responsible animal care naturally.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: clean them well enough Suggested revision: keep them clean enough Why it matters: 'Keep an animal clean' is more natural than 'clean it well enough' for ongoing care.
- 11. Separate relative clause Original: diseases some Suggested revision: diseases, some Why it matters: A comma is required before the non-defining relative clause beginning with 'some of which'.
- 12. Close introductory phrase Original: Despite these disadvantages having Suggested revision: Despite these disadvantages, having Why it matters: A comma is required after the introductory prepositional phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- dog dogs
- at in
- of to
- something which can highly benefit something that can greatly benefit
- the city people city residents
- consider pets as threats consider pets threats
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay maintains a clear pro-pet position and develops relevant benefits for children's responsibility and older people's mental health while addressing aggression and disease as counterarguments. Its main limitation is that claims are sometimes broad and focused on individual owners more than the wider urban community. Prioritise one city-level example and explain how responsible ownership controls the identified risks.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and supported by developed benefits and a relevant response to health and safety concerns.
Extend the community dimension with a specific example, such as pets reducing isolation in urban neighbourhoods, and link regulation to responsible ownership.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, counterargument, and positive case create clear progression, although the final body paragraph also functions as an extended conclusion.
Separate the elderly-care example from a concise conclusion that weighs the benefits against the manageable risks.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a sufficiently flexible range for health, behaviour, responsibility, and companionship, with occasional awkward collocations.
Refine phrases such as 'care for them', 'recommended for older people', 'reduce loneliness', and 'restrictions on urban pet ownership'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures communicates ideas clearly, though errors with plurals, verb patterns, pronouns, and punctuation recur.
Check forms after 'help', agreement with plural pets, and sentence boundaries, especially in the final two sentences.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say domestic animals, like cats, should not be reared in cities. Others say that such companion animals are beneficial to the community of a city. Which attitude do you believe to be correct?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.