"Telecommuting" refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?
Sample Response
The spread of telecommuting is sure to have far-reaching effects on society. By itself, telecommuting refers to office workers spending much of their time working from home and using electronic technologies to communicate with their employers. The broader implications of telecommuting, however, may involve changes to corporate structure, workers' lifestyles and even urban planning.
The most obvious changes may be apparent in the `normal' offices of companies, governments and other organisations. If even half the working week is spent telecommuting from home, then we would initially expect many empty desks in the office. As offices grow smaller, workers coming in for the day would be expected to share desks with their absent colleagues. This, in turn, may affect the social atmosphere of an organisation, however, as less social contact with one's colleagues could harm morale and loyalty.
For the individual office worker, telecommuting would mean spending more time at home. For a parent with young children, this may be a blessing. Moreover, many telecommuters would be able to work the hours they wished: having a nap in the afternoon, for example, but working some hours in the evening. One substantial benefit for all telecommuting workers is that there will be no need to travel to work, allowing more free time.
The structure of urban life is also likely to be affected by telecommuting. We would expect to see fewer cars on the road during peak hours and, eventually, a smaller concentration of offices in cities' central business districts. In short, people will have less reason to travel to city centres from outlying areas. As more people work and live in the same location, shops and cultural events will likely relocate themselves out of the city centre.
In conclusion, telecommuting will serve not only to change the way we work but also the way we live.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use contextual framing Original: By itself, telecommuting refers Suggested revision: In this context, telecommuting refers Why it matters: 'In this context' introduces the definition more naturally than 'by itself'.
- 2. Use technology as uncountable Original: technologies Suggested revision: technology Why it matters: 'Technology' is normally uncountable when referring generally to communication tools.
- 3. Use precise office wording Original: the `normal' offices Suggested revision: traditional offices Why it matters: The replacement avoids informal quotation marks and identifies conventional workplaces directly.
- 4. Avoid over-layered hedging Original: then we would initially expect Suggested revision: we might initially see Why it matters: The revision expresses a prediction more concisely without stacking 'then', 'would', and 'expect'.
- 5. Clarify desk sharing Original: share desks with their absent colleagues Suggested revision: use desks assigned to absent colleagues Why it matters: Workers cannot literally share a desk with a colleague who is absent.
- 6. Remove the repeated contrast Original: organisation, however, as Suggested revision: organisation, as Why it matters: 'However' has already marked the contrast earlier in the sentence and disrupts the causal clause here.
- 7. Use a clear choice phrase Original: work the hours they wished Suggested revision: choose the hours they worked Why it matters: The revision states control over the schedule more directly.
- 8. Match the hypothetical modal Original: will Suggested revision: would Why it matters: 'Would' matches the essay's hypothetical predictions about telecommuting.
- 9. Use a direct quantity phrase Original: a smaller concentration of offices Suggested revision: fewer offices Why it matters: The shorter phrase expresses the reduced number of central offices clearly.
- 10. Remove the reflexive pronoun Original: relocate themselves out of Suggested revision: relocate away from Why it matters: 'Relocate' does not require a reflexive object, and 'away from' is the natural direction phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- By itself, telecommuting refers In this context, telecommuting refers
- technologies technology
- the `normal' offices traditional offices
- then we would initially expect we might initially see
- share desks with their absent colleagues use desks assigned to absent colleagues
- organisation, however, as organisation, as
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its comprehensive, logically developed account of how telecommuting may reshape workplaces, individual routines, transport, and urban centres. Its main limitation is that a few expressions are slightly awkward or less precise than the otherwise sophisticated language; the highest-priority improvement is to refine those collocations so every claim sounds fully natural and exact.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly explores several significant societal effects and develops each with relevant consequences and examples.
Deepen the evaluation slightly by acknowledging conditions that might affect whether these predicted changes occur.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly through well-focused paragraphs that move from workplaces to individuals and then urban life.
Make the concluding paragraph more substantive by briefly synthesising the main workplace and urban consequences.
Lexical Resource
A broad and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, with only occasional awkward choices such as “relocate themselves.”
Refine a few collocations and register choices so all expressions sound consistently natural and formal.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with errors rare and non-impeding.
Polish minor punctuation and clause-linking details to achieve even more consistently effortless control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
"Telecommuting" refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.