Some people say domestic animals, like cats, should not be reared in cities. Others say that such companion animals are beneficial to the community of a city. Which attitude do you believe to be correct?
Sample Response
We are living in a capitalist world where we sell a third of our days in order to live during the rest. It is suggested by psychology coteries that we are lonelier than ever and as a result of this, depression is now at unprecedented levels. As social creatures we need companions, however, it is now unarguably hard to find time to spend for our relationships - and even worse for ourselves. In my opinion, this is the main reason for people to have pets since they don't judge you for not allotting time for them; all you need to do is to feed and fondle them. However, some people believe that confining pets within walls is wrong and they should not be kept in houses. My personal view is that they are extremely beneficial especially to who live alone. First of all, as I stated previously, we are spending our times mostly at our jobs and we don't even have enough time for ourselves let alone our friends. Many people have hard times to maintain their relationships and friendships. As a corollary of this, we are now more alone. It is a known fact that lonely people are more prone to depression and suicidal thoughts. I feel that having a pet which can sit on your legs and let you fondle itself can disperse all negative feelings. Secondly, taking a responsibility of someone or something matures people. You simply have something to care for and live for. In addition, pets can also replace the babies for those who cannot have one. Therefore, they can also satiate the need of bringing up an offspring and being parents. In conclusion, I feel that pets are a good companion for those who live alone especially for those who harbour depression and thought of suicide. Their love and taking their responsibilities can make people grown-ups and cure their psychologies damaged by their lonely lives.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise expression Original: sell a third of our days Suggested revision: spend a third of our days working Why it matters: The revision conveys the time devoted to employment more clearly.
- 2. Use correct profession Original: psychology coteries Suggested revision: psychologists Why it matters: 'Psychologists' is the appropriate term for experts in this field.
- 3. Fix comma splice Original: companions, however, it Suggested revision: companions; however, it Why it matters: A semicolon is needed before 'however' to join the two independent clauses correctly.
- 4. Fix verb pattern Original: spend for our relationships Suggested revision: devote to our relationships Why it matters: 'Devote time to' is the natural collocation in this context.
- 5. Use concise structure Original: reason for people to have pets Suggested revision: reason people have pets Why it matters: The revised clause states the causal relationship more naturally.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: allotting time for them Suggested revision: spending time with them Why it matters: People normally 'spend time with' companions rather than 'allot time for' them.
- 7. Correct relative phrase Original: especially to who live alone Suggested revision: especially to those who live alone Why it matters: 'Those who' is required to refer to the people being described.
- 8. Use uncountable time Original: spending our times mostly Suggested revision: spending most of our time Why it matters: 'Time' is uncountable here and the adverb placement is unnatural.
- 9. Use natural phrase Original: at our jobs Suggested revision: at work Why it matters: 'At work' is the standard expression for time spent working.
- 10. Fix verb pattern Original: have hard times to maintain Suggested revision: have difficulty maintaining Why it matters: 'Have difficulty' is followed by a gerund rather than an infinitive.
- 11. Choose accurate body term Original: legs Suggested revision: lap Why it matters: A pet sits on a person's lap, not generally on their legs.
- 12. Correct object and verb Original: fondle itself Suggested revision: let you stroke it Why it matters: The owner performs the action, and 'stroke' is the appropriate verb for gently touching a pet.
Suggested Rewrites
- sell a third of our days spend a third of our days working
- psychology coteries psychologists
- companions, however, it companions; however, it
- spend for our relationships devote to our relationships
- reason for people to have pets reason people have pets
- allotting time for them spending time with them
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear view that pets benefit city residents and develops companionship, emotional support, and responsibility as meaningful advantages. Its main limitation is scope: the discussion focuses almost entirely on individuals living alone and makes little connection to the wider urban community, while several claims are overstated. Prioritise community-level effects and support the mental-health benefits with measured, precise reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear positive attitude is supported by several relevant individual benefits, but the implications for the city community and the opposing concern receive limited attention.
Explain how responsible pet ownership affects neighbours, social interaction, public spaces, or community wellbeing, while briefly addressing urban constraints.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses from loneliness to emotional support, responsibility, and conclusion, but the single paragraph and repeated references to isolation weaken organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for companionship and responsibility, with one clear supporting sequence in each.
Lexical Resource
The essay attempts a wide range of vocabulary, but strained or inappropriate expressions frequently reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace phrases such as 'psychology coteries,' 'disperse all negative feelings,' and 'cure their psychologies' with direct, measured language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is used and meaning remains clear, though agreement, article, preposition, pronoun, and sentence-boundary errors recur.
Check forms such as 'people who live alone,' 'take responsibility for,' and 'thoughts of suicide,' and avoid comma splices.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say domestic animals, like cats, should not be reared in cities. Others say that such companion animals are beneficial to the community of a city. Which attitude do you believe to be correct?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.