Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
People's opinions are often divided when it comes to the right age for sending young children to school. While some are in favour of sending children to schools as soon as possible, others favour the ideas that they should stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. This essay attempts to explore both views and support the idea that children should stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old.
The first group of people who support sending children to schools as early as possible, sometimes even when they are just 3 years old, point out that this method helps parents concentrate on their careers while giving young children the opportunity to learn from a former setting like a classroom. They also emphasise the need for young children to have playmates of their age and experienced teachers to guide them to learn basic academic lessons. They believe that this approach would help children learn important skills faster and do better academically.
On the contrary, the adherents of the idea to allow children to stay home till they are six or seven argue that playing at home allows children to develop important social and emotional skills. According to them, young children learn through play and exploration, and being at home allows them to do this in a safe and familiar environment. Research shows that early childhood experiences have a lasting impact on a child's social, emotional, and cognitive development. By staying at home and playing, children can develop important social and emotional skills such as empathy, cooperation, and communication.
I believe that starting school too early can hurt children's academic and emotional development and therefore they should stay at home and spend time with their family until they are six or seven years old to attend school. Staying at home also helps them learn in a safe environment without any pressure and anxiety, which helps positively in their cognitive development.
In conclusion, it is my firm belief that children should stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. This approach allows children to develop important social and emotional skills and avoid negative impacts on their academic and emotional development.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use school generically Original: schools Suggested revision: school Why it matters: Use the singular uncountable form when referring generally to school attendance.
- 2. Fix number agreement Original: ideas Suggested revision: idea Why it matters: The sentence refers to one idea, so the singular noun is required.
- 3. Clarify essay purpose Original: explore both views and support the idea Suggested revision: explore both views and argue Why it matters: This wording states the essay's argumentative purpose more directly.
- 4. Use school generically Original: schools Suggested revision: school Why it matters: Use the singular uncountable form for the general activity of attending school.
- 5. Choose precise noun Original: method Suggested revision: arrangement Why it matters: Arrangement describes the childcare and schooling choice more precisely than method.
- 6. Correct word choice Original: a former setting like a classroom Suggested revision: a formal setting such as a classroom Why it matters: Formal is the intended adjective for a structured learning environment.
- 7. Use natural phrasing Original: playmates of their age Suggested revision: playmates their own age Why it matters: Their own age is the natural expression for age-matched peers.
- 8. Improve verb pattern Original: guide them to learn basic academic lessons Suggested revision: guide them in learning basic academic lessons Why it matters: Guide someone in doing something is the more natural verb pattern here.
- 9. Use accurate contrast Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: By contrast appropriately introduces the opposing group's argument without directly contradicting the preceding claim.
- 10. Reduce awkward phrasing Original: the adherents of the idea to allow children Suggested revision: proponents of allowing children Why it matters: This concise phrase expresses support for the proposal more naturally.
- 11. Clarify plural reference Original: family Suggested revision: families Why it matters: Families makes the distributive relationship with the plural subject clearer.
- 12. Fix awkward collocation Original: which helps positively in their cognitive development Suggested revision: which positively supports their cognitive development Why it matters: Support development is the natural collocation for the intended meaning.
Suggested Rewrites
- schools school
- ideas idea
- explore both views and support the idea explore both views and argue
- schools school
- method arrangement
- a former setting like a classroom a formal setting such as a classroom
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s clearest strength is its balanced, logically organized discussion of both views, supported by a consistently stated preference for delaying school. Its main limitation is that several ideas remain general or repetitive, while some awkward word choices reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each side with a more specific cause-and-effect example and then edit collocations for naturalness.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear personal position are addressed with relevant explanations, although some support remains general and repetitive.
Develop one distinctive, concrete example for each view to deepen the argument and avoid repeating claims about development.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through clearly focused paragraphs, with generally effective referencing and linking.
Use transitions more precisely and reduce repeated restatement between the second body paragraph, opinion paragraph, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently broad vocabulary communicates the argument clearly, despite several awkward collocations and word-choice slips.
Replace unnatural phrases such as “former setting” and “guide them to learn” with more precise, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex sentence forms is used with generally strong control and only occasional non-impeding errors.
Proofread articles, singular-plural choices, and long clause combinations to make complex sentences consistently accurate.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.