Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The progress of a nation is often measured by economic growth; therefore many governments focus more on their economic progress rather than other important social and traditional aspects. However, some people, including me, have a contrasting view as they believe that political stability, security, social condition and education are equally or even more important for the advancement of a nation.
On the one hand, many governments pay more attention to economic development than other aspects of life as they believe that economic growth plays an important role in the development of a nation. When a country's economy develops, it ensures business ventures, and new job opportunities and the government can collect more funds through taxes. This fund could be used for the improvement of other sectors such as education, public infrastructures and military services. For example, in Singapore, the government's relentless focus on economic growth has transformed the country into a thriving global financial hub. As a result, numerous multinational corporations have established their regional headquarters in Singapore, fueling job creation and attracting skilled professionals from around the world.
On the other hand, even though economic growth plays an essential part, governments must ensure a better living standard and a green environment. The economic condition of a country will not grow without the support of a secure social condition, better political condition and an advanced educational system. Investors will not place their investments in countries that have insecure political conditions such as Afghanistan or Iraq. And then, without the existence of educated and skilled workers, it will be difficult for a country to improve their industrial and trade activities. Therefore, I believe that the growth of the economic sectors should be aligned with other important sectors, and other aspects like political stability, social condition and security should get more priority.
In conclusion, economic growth plays an important role in the development of a nation. However, I personally believe that besides economic progress, better education, social welfare, security and political stability are equally or sometimes more important for the sustainable development of a nation.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Punctuate conjunctive adverb Original: economic growth; therefore many Suggested revision: economic growth; therefore, many Why it matters: Therefore requires a following comma when it links two independent clauses in this way.
- 2. Fix comparison pattern Original: focus more on their economic progress rather than Suggested revision: focus more on economic progress than Why it matters: The comparative more requires than rather than the mixed construction more ... rather than.
- 3. Use precise category Original: traditional Suggested revision: cultural Why it matters: Cultural more clearly describes a national dimension of progress than traditional.
- 4. Clarify the link Original: have a contrasting view as Suggested revision: hold a contrasting view because Why it matters: Hold a view is more idiomatic, and because states the causal relationship clearly.
- 5. Use plural noun Original: condition Suggested revision: conditions Why it matters: Social conditions normally refers to the multiple circumstances within a society.
- 6. Match the plural reference Original: This fund Suggested revision: These funds Why it matters: The previous sentence refers to more funds, so the demonstrative and noun should remain plural.
- 7. Use uncountable noun Original: infrastructures Suggested revision: infrastructure Why it matters: Infrastructure is normally uncountable when referring to a country's systems collectively.
- 8. Use natural expression Original: a better living standard Suggested revision: higher living standards Why it matters: Higher living standards is the conventional expression for improved quality of life across a population.
- 9. Use the correct subject Original: The economic condition of a country Suggested revision: A country's economy Why it matters: An economy can grow, whereas an economic condition does not naturally take the verb grow.
- 10. Clarify social context Original: the support of a secure social condition Suggested revision: a stable society Why it matters: Stable society expresses the intended enabling condition more naturally and concisely.
- 11. Use precise term Original: better political condition Suggested revision: political stability Why it matters: Political stability is the standard term for the secure political environment described here.
- 12. Correct the collocation Original: place their investments Suggested revision: invest Why it matters: Invest is the natural verb for committing capital to a country.
Suggested Rewrites
- economic growth; therefore many economic growth; therefore, many
- focus more on their economic progress rather than focus more on economic progress than
- traditional cultural
- have a contrasting view as hold a contrasting view because
- condition conditions
- This fund These funds
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its clear position, balanced structure, and relevant explanation of how economic strength and wider national institutions contribute to development. Its main limitation is that the case for non-economic progress is framed largely through its benefits to the economy, which narrows that view. The highest-priority improvement is to explain the independent value of education, welfare, security, and environmental quality with a concrete example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed and the writer's opinion is clear, supported by relevant reasoning and an effective economic example.
Develop the second view beyond its economic benefits by showing how another form of progress improves national wellbeing in its own right.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear discussion structure, and ideas progress logically within well-managed paragraphs.
Use more precise internal transitions in the second body paragraph instead of the less natural phrase And then.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficiently wide vocabulary for economics, governance, education, and national development, with generally clear meaning.
Reduce repetition and refine awkward collocations such as social condition, place their investments, and growth of the economic sectors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are frequent and generally controlled, but minor errors in agreement, articles, and noun forms recur.
Edit references and countability carefully, including this fund after funds, public infrastructure, and singular country references.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.