Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
People have different views about the funding of creative artists. While some people disagree with the idea of government support for artists, I believe that money for art projects should come from both governments and other sources.
Some art projects definitely require help from the state. In the UK, there are many works of art in public spaces, such as streets or squares in city centres. In Liverpool, for example, there are several new statues and sculptures in the docks area of the city, which has been redeveloped recently. These artworks represent culture, heritage and history. They serve to educate people about the city, and act as landmarks or talking points for visitors and tourists. Governments and local councils should pay creative artists to produce this kind of art, because without their funding our cities would be much less interesting and attractive.
On the other hand, I can understand the arguments against government funding for art. The main reason for this view is that governments have more important concerns. For example, state budgets need to be spent on education, healthcare, infrastructure and security, among other areas. These public services are vital for a country to function properly, whereas the work of creative artists, even in public places, is a luxury. Another reason for this opinion is that artists do a job like any other professional, and they should therefore earn their own money by selling their work.
In conclusion, there are good reasons why artists should rely on alternative sources of financial support, but in my opinion government help is sometimes necessary.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the meaning Original: funding of creative artists Suggested revision: financial support for creative artists Why it matters: This phrasing states the relationship between the funding and its recipients more naturally.
- 2. Use formal wording Original: money Suggested revision: funding Why it matters: “Funding” is more precise and suitably formal in this policy context.
- 3. Specify the support Original: help from the state Suggested revision: financial support from the state Why it matters: The revision makes clear that the paragraph concerns monetary assistance.
- 4. Make wording concise Original: streets or squares in city centres Suggested revision: city-centre streets and squares Why it matters: The compact noun phrase conveys the same locations more directly.
- 5. Use natural location Original: in the docks area of the city Suggested revision: in the city’s docklands Why it matters: “The city’s docklands” is a more natural and concise location phrase.
- 6. Place time naturally Original: which has been redeveloped recently Suggested revision: which was recently redeveloped Why it matters: The simple passive and mid-position adverb describe the completed redevelopment more naturally.
- 7. Specify the reference Original: represent culture, heritage and history Suggested revision: represent the city’s culture, heritage and history Why it matters: Naming the city makes the scope of these abstract nouns explicit.
- 8. Remove redundancy Original: visitors and tourists Suggested revision: visitors Why it matters: Tourists are already included in the broader category of visitors.
- 9. Name the category Original: this kind of art Suggested revision: this kind of public art Why it matters: Adding “public” links the recommendation precisely to the examples in public spaces.
- 10. Use policy collocation Original: more important concerns Suggested revision: more urgent priorities Why it matters: “Urgent priorities” is more precise for competing demands on government budgets.
- 11. Correct the object Original: state budgets need to be spent on Suggested revision: public funds need to be spent on Why it matters: Funds, rather than budgets themselves, are the resources that are spent.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Another reason for this opinion is that artists do a job like any other professional, and they should therefore earn their own money by selling their work. Suggested revision: Another reason for this opinion is that artists are professionals like any others and should therefore earn an income by selling their work. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the comparison and replaces the informal phrase “earn their own money.”
Suggested Rewrites
- funding of creative artists financial support for creative artists
- money funding
- help from the state financial support from the state
- streets or squares in city centres city-centre streets and squares
- in the docks area of the city in the city’s docklands
- which has been redeveloped recently which was recently redeveloped
Why this response received Band 9.0
The response is exceptionally focused, balanced, and economical, developing both positions with precise reasoning and maintaining a clear nuanced opinion throughout. Its only notable limitation is that the alternative-funding position could be illustrated with a source beyond artists selling their own work. A brief example of private sponsorship or direct public purchasing would make that side even more comprehensive.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
All parts of the task are fully addressed through a clear position and relevant, thoroughly developed arguments for both views.
As a refinement, add one concise example of an alternative funding source beyond artists earning money through sales.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses effortlessly through purposeful paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and without distraction.
Maintain this concise progression while ensuring any additional example remains tightly integrated into its paragraph's central claim.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and natural throughout, with flexible control of both abstract discussion and concrete examples.
Preserve this level of lexical precision while varying references to funding where doing so remains natural and exact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A full range of sentence structures is used accurately and flexibly, with consistently controlled punctuation and syntax.
Continue applying the same grammatical control when incorporating any further qualification or supporting detail.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.