Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
A group of people believe that paying taxes is the biggest contribution by citizens and those taxpayers are already making enough contribution to be exempted from other duties to society. However, others opine that paying taxes does not automatically spare citizens from other obligations and moral duties. This essay discusses both views, however, I believe that all citizens have to abide by their social responsibilities while capable members must pay taxes. On the one hand, tax money helps the authority run the public service, pay salaries to government employees, take new development initiatives, fund research works, and offer subsidiaries to important sectors. So this money essentially helps run the country. Without the taxpayers' money, for example, the price of commodities will go up, no new roads would be built, education and medical treatment would be expensive. So it is understandable that a taxpayer is contributing to smoothly run the country and should be offered some benefits than non-taxpayers, and if required, they should be excused from other social responsibilities. On the other hand, it is undeniable that taxpayers are also benefiting from the money they are paying and should not be released from their other duties. Just paying tax should not allow someone to be above the law. These taxpayers should follow rules and also act virtuously to keep society on track. Besides, they have moral duties to people around them due to their financial well-off status. For instance, the highest taxpayers in society are usually the most powerful and financially successful persons, and due to their social influences, they have even more responsibilities to help needy people and take initiatives to save the environment and make the area a better place to live in. In conclusion, paying tax is important, but it does not automatically excuse them from obeying social rules, helping needy people and performing moral duties. It is expected that taxpayers would take more responsibilities in society to make it even better.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: the biggest contribution by citizens Suggested revision: the greatest contribution citizens make Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the comparison more naturally and directly.
- 2. Add partitive phrase Original: enough contribution Suggested revision: enough of a contribution Why it matters: The singular countable noun needs the structure 'enough of a contribution'.
- 3. Choose precise verb Original: spare citizens from Suggested revision: exempt citizens from Why it matters: 'Exempt' is the more precise verb for release from an obligation.
- 4. Fix comma splice Original: This essay discusses both views, however, Suggested revision: This essay discusses both views; however, Why it matters: A semicolon correctly joins the independent clause to the conjunctive adverb.
- 5. Fix verb collocation Original: abide by their social responsibilities Suggested revision: fulfil their social responsibilities Why it matters: Responsibilities are fulfilled, whereas rules or laws are abided by.
- 6. Clarify the actor Original: the authority Suggested revision: the government Why it matters: The singular 'government' identifies the institution more naturally here.
- 7. Use plural noun Original: run the public service Suggested revision: run public services Why it matters: The general reference requires the plural form 'services'.
- 8. Use uncountable noun Original: research works Suggested revision: research Why it matters: 'Research' is normally uncountable when referring generally to funded activity.
- 9. Correct word choice Original: offer subsidiaries Suggested revision: provide subsidies Why it matters: A subsidy is financial support, while a subsidiary is a controlled company.
- 10. Separate independent clauses Original: the price of commodities will go up, no new roads would be built Suggested revision: the price of commodities will go up; no new roads would be built Why it matters: A semicolon is needed between these two independent clauses.
- 11. Complete contribution pattern Original: to smoothly run the country Suggested revision: to the smooth running of the country Why it matters: The noun 'contribution' takes 'to' followed by a noun phrase or gerund.
- 12. Fix comparison form Original: benefits than non-taxpayers Suggested revision: more benefits than non-taxpayers Why it matters: The comparison with 'than' requires the comparative determiner 'more'.
Suggested Rewrites
- the biggest contribution by citizens the greatest contribution citizens make
- enough contribution enough of a contribution
- spare citizens from exempt citizens from
- This essay discusses both views, however, This essay discusses both views; however,
- abide by their social responsibilities fulfil their social responsibilities
- the authority the government
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response addresses both perspectives, maintains a clear opinion, and supports its position with relevant explanations and examples. Its main limitation is that several claims in the first view are somewhat sweeping, while recurring awkward collocations and grammatical lapses reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop the case for excusing taxpayers from other duties more convincingly and express those ideas in more natural, accurately controlled language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are discussed and the writer's position is clear throughout, with relevant support despite some overgeneralised reasoning in the first argument.
Explain more precisely why paying tax might justify reduced social obligations, using a carefully qualified example rather than broad assertions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through the two views to a consistent conclusion, and its paragraphing and referencing generally support clarity.
Strengthen the transitions within the first body paragraph so that the examples lead more explicitly to the claim about exemption from other duties.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary conveys the argument clearly, but several inaccurate or awkward combinations reduce precision.
Replace expressions such as 'offer subsidiaries,' 'benefits than,' and 'financial well-off status' with accurate, idiomatic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures successfully, although agreement, article, comparison, and conditional errors recur without obscuring meaning.
Proofread longer sentences for consistent verb forms, articles, and comparison structures, especially when combining examples and conclusions.