Economic progress is one factor that is being considered to measure the success of a country, but there are other factors that should be considered when measuring the success of a country. Do you agree or disagree? What other factors do you think should be considered? Do you think one factor is more important than others?
Sample Response
A successful country is usually associated with developed country, having economic strength with the great national income. Even though it is true that economic progress will affect the improvement of a state, I firmly believe this factor is not the only thing to be considered as parameters of a successful country.
It is obvious that economic growth is one indicator which is considered to assess the success of a nation because without adequate economic condition, the government of the state will not be able to manage and run its programs well and citizens will suffer. However, that factor will be meaningless if it is not supported by the other aspects such as education and health. For instance, Brazil, having good economic growth in the last century, is still struggling with the low rate of education and health care of its citizens, particularly in the northern region. This eventually means that the inhabitants in the northern part of Brazil are still poor and the government has not fully succeeded to prosper its people.
Furthermore, a wealthy nation like Brazil still has a problem with the morality of its residents, reflected on the high crime rate in the country which will potentially endanger the national stability of Brazil. This means that the government has failed to educate its citizens. Therefore, morality should be taken into account as another factor to obtain success by the nation.
In a nutshell, other than economic prosperity, there are the other indicators that should be considered in order to be a successful country such as education, health, and morality. However, personally, I put economic factor as the most important one because important aspects to improve the other factors (education, health, and morality) cannot be achieved well if a good economic condition of the nation has not been achieved yet.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add article and gerund Original: associated with developed country Suggested revision: associated with being a developed country Why it matters: The phrase needs being and an article before the singular countable noun country.
- 2. Use income collocation Original: with the great national income Suggested revision: with a high national income Why it matters: High is the natural adjective for describing the level of national income.
- 3. Clarify economic contribution Original: affect the improvement of a state Suggested revision: contribute to a state's development Why it matters: Contribute to development expresses the positive relationship more naturally and precisely.
- 4. Fix singular agreement Original: the only thing to be considered as parameters Suggested revision: the only factor to be considered as a parameter Why it matters: The singular subject factor requires the singular complement a parameter.
- 5. Use plural conditions Original: condition Suggested revision: conditions Why it matters: Economic conditions is the standard plural expression for a country's economic circumstances.
- 6. Remove redundant verbs Original: manage and run its programs Suggested revision: run its programs Why it matters: Run already includes the idea of managing the programmes.
- 7. Use factor relationship Original: supported by the other aspects Suggested revision: accompanied by other aspects Why it matters: Education and health accompany economic performance as additional measures rather than supporting it directly.
- 8. Clarify concessive example Original: Brazil, having good economic growth Suggested revision: Brazil, despite experiencing good economic growth Why it matters: Despite correctly signals the contrast between growth and continuing social problems.
- 9. Use measurable levels Original: the low rate of education and health care Suggested revision: low levels of education and healthcare Why it matters: Levels is the appropriate noun for describing the quality or provision of education and healthcare.
- 10. Fix succeed pattern Original: succeeded to prosper its people Suggested revision: succeeded in improving its people's prosperity Why it matters: Succeed takes in followed by a gerund, and the revision expresses the intended outcome clearly.
- 11. State moral concern carefully Original: a problem with the morality of its residents Suggested revision: concerns about the morality of its residents Why it matters: Concerns about presents the claimed issue more naturally than a problem with morality.
- 12. Fix reflected preposition Original: on Suggested revision: in Why it matters: A condition is reflected in evidence, not reflected on it.
Suggested Rewrites
- associated with developed country associated with being a developed country
- with the great national income with a high national income
- affect the improvement of a state contribute to a state's development
- the only thing to be considered as parameters the only factor to be considered as a parameter
- condition conditions
- manage and run its programs run its programs
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response directly answers all parts of the task, identifies several relevant measures of national success, and states clearly that economic strength is the most important. Development is coherent but uneven: the Brazil example does most of the supporting work, while the final priority claim is asserted more than fully demonstrated. The main improvement is to explain more precisely how economic capacity supports each other indicator and to refine recurring awkward phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
All questions are answered with a clear position and relevant factors, though the argument for economic primacy is only briefly developed.
Explain the causal link between economic resources and improvements in education, health, and social stability in greater depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear progression from economic performance to other indicators and then to a reasoned conclusion.
Strengthen the transition into the morality paragraph so its relationship to education, crime, and national success is more explicit.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, but several collocations and word choices are awkward or imprecise.
Use more natural formulations for economic conditions, public welfare, and measures of national success.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used with generally clear meaning, although article, agreement, preposition, and noun-form errors recur.
Edit noun phrases carefully for articles, singular-plural agreement, and natural preposition use.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Economic progress is one factor that is being considered to measure the success of a country, but there are other factors that should be considered when measuring the success of a country. Do you agree or disagree? What other factors do you think should be considered? Do you think one factor is more important than others?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.