Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
In many countries the discussion about the rising financial problems of young people has been getting more emphasis. Tough some people are voting to integrate financial education as a schooling subject.
The key problem for many young people is that they don’t know how to use and spend money in the right way. The “get what you want mentality” is widely advertised by the mass media and it looks like some people think that living with interest fees is normal. Though financial problems in young life are very common with the result that it is difficult to learn how to spend money appropriated. The main idea of teaching a financial subject must be to explain about a balanced budget and that debt could ruins one’s future. But this is just one side that has to be considered. For me, the main question is why the parents cannot give the right advice to their kids? To leave such a personal subject in the hands of government and school means to ignore a key task of any parent: to be a good role model.
Moreover it should be considerate that the social effects of talking about money and finance in a socially diverse school class can be harmful for some students. In my opinion it is more important to teach parents about their responsibilities as a role model and have them educate the children about this private topic in a safe and private environment.
All in all I think the main task of public institutions should be to educate about common subjects and not to give such personal advice like the use of money.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: getting more emphasis Suggested revision: receiving more attention Why it matters: This is the natural collocation for describing increased public discussion.
- 2. Close quotation correctly Original: “get what you want mentality” Suggested revision: “get what you want” mentality Why it matters: The quotation marks should enclose the quoted slogan rather than the noun it modifies.
- 3. Clarify financial term Original: living with interest fees Suggested revision: paying interest charges Why it matters: People pay interest charges; they do not normally live with interest fees.
- 4. Use natural phrase Original: in young life Suggested revision: among young people Why it matters: This phrase clearly identifies the affected group in natural English.
- 5. Use adverb form Original: appropriated Suggested revision: appropriately Why it matters: The verb phrase requires the adverb appropriately rather than the past participle appropriated.
- 6. Clarify educational purpose Original: The main idea of teaching a financial subject Suggested revision: The main purpose of teaching financial education Why it matters: Purpose and financial education express the intended meaning more precisely.
- 7. Remove redundant preposition Original: explain about Suggested revision: explain Why it matters: Explain takes a direct object here and does not require about.
- 8. Use base verb Original: ruins Suggested revision: ruin Why it matters: A modal verb must be followed by the base form ruin.
- 9. Choose precise wording Original: one side that has to be considered Suggested revision: one aspect that must be considered Why it matters: Aspect is more precise than side when referring to part of an issue.
- 10. Remove unnecessary article Original: why the parents Suggested revision: why parents Why it matters: Parents is used generically here, so the definite article is unnecessary.
- 11. Use plural institutions Original: in the hands of government and school Suggested revision: in the hands of governments and schools Why it matters: The general reference requires plural count nouns.
- 12. Use precise noun Original: a key task of any parent Suggested revision: a key responsibility of every parent Why it matters: Responsibility expresses the parental obligation more precisely than task.
Suggested Rewrites
- getting more emphasis receiving more attention
- “get what you want mentality” “get what you want” mentality
- living with interest fees paying interest charges
- in young life among young people
- appropriated appropriately
- The main idea of teaching a financial subject The main purpose of teaching financial education
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear preference for parental financial guidance and supports it with relevant concerns about debt, role modelling, and classroom sensitivity. Its main limitation is uneven development: the case against mandatory school provision is less fully explained than the background discussion, while frequent awkward wording and grammatical slips reduce precision. The highest priority is to state the disagreement directly in the introduction and develop each supporting reason through a clear explanation and specific example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the question and conveys a relevant position against mandatory school-based financial education, but some supporting ideas remain insufficiently developed.
State the extent of disagreement in the introduction and extend each main reason with a specific explanation or example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure provides broadly clear progression, although some linking expressions are misused and the second paragraph carries too many shifts in focus.
Give each body paragraph one controlling idea and use cohesive devices only where the logical relationship is exact.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the topic adequately, with terms such as balanced budget and role model, but recurrent collocation and word-form errors reduce precision.
Replace awkward phrases with standard collocations and check adjective-adverb and verb-form choices during revision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but fragments, agreement errors, and faulty verb forms occur frequently.
Prioritise complete sentence boundaries and check every modal construction and subject-verb agreement pattern.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.