Learning a foreign language offers an insight into how people from other cultures think and see the world. The teaching of a foreign language should be compulsory at all primary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
I believe learning of a foreign language for all students should be compulsory at all primary schools. I would like to highlight the advantages it will have and the potential benefits it will offer if the teaching is made mandatory.
In primary school students actually get the chance to learn new and variety of subjects. Primary school is the best place for a student to learn any new skill or language because their mind can be moulded easily at that time. This new language will eventually become their second natural language like other natural activities like brushing their teeth or riding a bicycle.
I believe
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the unnecessary preposition Original: learning of a foreign language Suggested revision: learning a foreign language Why it matters: The verb form learning takes the language directly as its object.
- 2. Use a natural collocation Original: advantages it will have Suggested revision: advantages it would bring Why it matters: Bring advantages is a natural collocation for describing the effects of a policy.
- 3. Use a hypothetical form Original: if the teaching is made mandatory Suggested revision: if teaching were made mandatory Why it matters: The hypothetical policy is expressed more consistently with were and without the unnecessary article.
- 4. Add an introductory comma Original: In primary school students Suggested revision: In primary school, students Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory prepositional phrase from the main clause.
- 5. Use parallel adjectives Original: new and variety of subjects Suggested revision: new and varied subjects Why it matters: Varied is the adjective needed to coordinate with new.
- 6. Match the plural subject Original: mind Suggested revision: minds Why it matters: The plural possessive their refers to multiple students, so minds should also be plural.
- 7. Clarify the reference Original: This Suggested revision: A Why it matters: The indefinite article avoids referring to a particular language that has not been identified.
- 8. Use the standard term Original: second natural language Suggested revision: second language Why it matters: Second language is the established term, whereas natural language has a different meaning.
- 9. Fix the comparison Original: like other natural activities like Suggested revision: as naturally as Why it matters: The revised comparative structure avoids the repeated and inaccurate use of like.
- 10. Remove the unfinished ending Suggested revision: Remove the unfinished final paragraph or complete the sentence so the response does not end with a fragment. Why it matters: The isolated words create an abrupt and incomplete ending.
Suggested Rewrites
- learning of a foreign language learning a foreign language
- advantages it will have advantages it would bring
- if the teaching is made mandatory if teaching were made mandatory
- In primary school students In primary school, students
- new and variety of subjects new and varied subjects
- mind minds
Why this response received Band 4.5
The response states a clear position and offers one relevant reason: primary-age children may acquire a language more readily. However, at only 105 words it is severely under length, ends with an unfinished fragment, and does not develop the cultural-insight aspect, multiple benefits, possible limitations, or a conclusion. The essential next step is to complete a full essay with several explained reasons and examples before refining its wording and grammar.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear opinion and one relevant advantage are present, but the response is severely under length, minimally developed, and unfinished, leaving major aspects of the compulsory-language argument unaddressed.
Write at least 250 words with two fully explained reasons, including how language learning builds cultural understanding, and finish with a clear conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The opening position leads into one supporting paragraph, but progression stops abruptly at "I believe," and there is too little developed material to form a complete, coherent essay.
Plan a complete introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion, using each body paragraph to develop one main reason from claim through explanation to example.
Lexical Resource
The limited response uses some appropriate educational vocabulary, but repetition of "language," "primary school," and "natural" and awkward combinations show restricted flexibility.
Expand the topic-specific range with precise terms such as "early language acquisition," "cultural awareness," and "compulsory curriculum," while avoiding repeated wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some accurate simple and complex sentences are produced, but the short sample shows limited range and includes agreement, article, phrasing, and fragment errors.
Complete every sentence and check noun phrases and agreement, for example "a variety of subjects" and "children's minds can be shaped more easily."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Learning a foreign language offers an insight into how people from other cultures think and see the world. The teaching of a foreign language should be compulsory at all primary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.