Learning a foreign language offers an insight into how people from other cultures think and see the world. The teaching of a foreign language should be compulsory at all primary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
Skill in a foreign language is really handy and if it is initiated from an early age, according to some language experts, it would be more effective than any other methods. I agree that a foreign language should be made mandatory for primary schools for the reasons below. First of all, childhood learning lasts longer. Children are naturally quick learners. So, when they are engaged in to learn something newer, they turn wondering and consequently come to know about everything. The fact is similar to children in primary schools. When they will learn a new language in class, the language will offer an insight to them which makes them curious to know more about the people of other cultures or using that language. It creates a scope to explore the world which finally helps them to widen their knowledge. Secondly, learning at a mature age is difficult. Usually, adults experience numerous obstacles while learning like they lack time, subjects appear difficult etc. So, learning turns ineffective and if it is a foreign language, the troubles rise more. My son, a primary grade student, was curious about Spanish. He had a course titled ‘How to learn Spanish’ in his school. So, he wanted to know more about people and culture of Spain and often tried to speak Spanish. But it was impossible for me to communicate in Spanish with him and thus I arranged some reading materials. He appeared on oral Spanish tests and did very well, and turned into a fluent Spanish speaker. But I am unable in my thirties to learn or speak a foreign language like my eight-year-old child. So, to conclude, I think if a foreign language learning is made compulsory in primary schools, it would help the kids to develop a standard communication skill, understanding of other culture and people; which in turn, will be quite effective in next phases of their lives.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise noun Original: Skill in a foreign language Suggested revision: Proficiency in a foreign language Why it matters: 'Proficiency' more precisely describes developed ability in a language.
- 2. Use formal register Original: really handy Suggested revision: highly useful Why it matters: The revision is more appropriate for formal academic writing.
- 3. Fix number agreement Original: any other methods Suggested revision: other methods Why it matters: The singular comparison 'it' should not be compared with 'any other methods' in this construction.
- 4. Correct preposition Original: made mandatory for primary schools Suggested revision: made compulsory in primary schools Why it matters: A subject is made compulsory 'in' schools, not 'for' schools.
- 5. Correct verb pattern Original: engaged in to learn Suggested revision: engaged in learning Why it matters: The phrase 'engaged in' must be followed by a gerund.
- 6. Use correct adjective Original: something newer Suggested revision: something new Why it matters: The comparative 'newer' is inappropriate because no two things are being compared.
- 7. Correct collocation Original: they turn wondering Suggested revision: they become curious Why it matters: 'Become curious' is the natural collocation for this change of state.
- 8. Avoid absolute claim Original: come to know about everything Suggested revision: seek to learn more Why it matters: The revision conveys increasing curiosity without the implausible absolute 'everything'.
- 9. Use present after when Original: When they will learn Suggested revision: When they learn Why it matters: A future time clause introduced by 'when' normally uses the present simple.
- 10. Correct insight collocation Original: offer an insight to them Suggested revision: give them insight Why it matters: 'Give someone insight' is the natural pattern in this sentence.
- 11. Repair relative phrase Original: people of other cultures or using that language Suggested revision: people from other cultures who use that language Why it matters: The relative clause clearly identifies the people associated with the language.
- 12. Correct opportunity phrase Original: creates a scope to explore Suggested revision: creates opportunities to explore Why it matters: 'Creates opportunities' is the natural collocation in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- Skill in a foreign language Proficiency in a foreign language
- really handy highly useful
- any other methods other methods
- made mandatory for primary schools made compulsory in primary schools
- engaged in to learn engaged in learning
- something newer something new
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and supports it with relevant reasons and a personal example, so the central argument is easy to follow. However, the single-block organisation and frequent awkward wording and grammar limit clarity and polish; the highest-priority improvement is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs while revising recurring verb-form, article, and collocation errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The writer answers the question directly, maintains agreement throughout, and extends the main reasons with a relevant example.
Explain more precisely why these benefits justify compulsory provision in every primary school rather than simply early learning.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable sequence, but the absence of paragraphing and repetitive connectors make the organisation mechanical.
Separate the introduction, each main reason, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clearer internal progression.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss learning and culture, but frequent unnatural collocations reduce precision and sophistication.
Replace awkward phrases such as 'turn wondering' and 'the troubles rise' with accurate, natural academic combinations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex sentences communicate the main meaning, though recurring errors in verb forms, articles, and clause construction remain noticeable.
Review infinitive and participle patterns, especially after verbs and prepositions, and simplify sentences whose clauses do not connect cleanly.