Heathcare and education are two important aspects of a nation and its population. Therefore, some people suggest that education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Healthcare and education are two fundamental rights of every human being, and they are essential for the development of a country. Some suggest that the government should bear the cost of healthcare and education, and I sincerely agree with this opinion.
To commence with, a country has an administrative system so that the country runs properly, the authority can take development initiatives, laws and orders are maintained, citizens get their basic rights, and the country stands proudly among the world nations. If this is what the management wants to achieve it must alleviate people from poverty through education and training, and offer highly effective healthcare facilities, without which the country and its tradition would crumble. Giving responsibility to its citizen to take care of their education and healthcare would be the last thing a government should do.
Moreover, without ensuring education for all, no country can achieve growth, eliminate poverty, and keep pace with the global economy. Education not only helps people become financially independent but also enlightens them. On the other hand, proper healthcare makes a healthy nation that eventually contributes to building a better nation. The struggling education and healthcare systems in many poor countries, for example, are the main obstacle to their development.
Finally, the government collects a staggering amount of revenue from direct and indirect taxes each year. If this tax money is not spent on educating the taxpayers' children or ensuring their proper treatment, no other policy can better utilise this money. Poor citizens also rely on the government when it comes to education and treatment. The tax money thus should be spent on offering free education and healthcare.
To conclude, healthcare and education are fundamental rights of citizens, and the government must ensure these two rights to fulfil its obligation to the nation and to help the country develop.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise rights phrase Original: fundamental rights of every human being Suggested revision: fundamental human rights Why it matters: The conventional phrase expresses the same meaning more concisely.
- 2. Use degree of agreement Original: sincerely Suggested revision: fully Why it matters: 'Fully' naturally expresses the extent of agreement in an academic essay.
- 3. Use natural opener Original: commence Suggested revision: begin Why it matters: This is the more natural transition for introducing the first reason.
- 4. Use fixed legal phrase Original: laws and orders are maintained Suggested revision: law and order are maintained Why it matters: 'Law and order' is the fixed uncountable expression.
- 5. Remove redundant world Original: among the world nations Suggested revision: among other nations Why it matters: 'World nations' is redundant and unnatural in this comparison.
- 6. Name government clearly Original: management Suggested revision: government Why it matters: 'Management' normally refers to an organisation or company, not a national authority.
- 7. Correct poverty collocation Original: alleviate people from poverty Suggested revision: lift people out of poverty Why it matters: The standard expression is 'lift people out of poverty.'
- 8. Use plural citizens Original: citizen Suggested revision: citizens Why it matters: The statement concerns the population generally, so the noun must be plural.
- 9. Match plural subject Original: obstacle Suggested revision: obstacles Why it matters: Two systems form a plural subject and require a plural complement.
- 10. Use neutral quantity Original: staggering Suggested revision: substantial Why it matters: 'Substantial' maintains an appropriately neutral academic tone.
- 11. Use healthcare services Original: highly effective healthcare facilities Suggested revision: high-quality healthcare services Why it matters: 'Services' more naturally describes the care a government provides to citizens.
- 12. Avoid dramatic claim Original: the country and its tradition would crumble Suggested revision: the country and its institutions would weaken Why it matters: The revised wording is more precise and appropriately measured for an academic argument.
Suggested Rewrites
- fundamental rights of every human being fundamental human rights
- sincerely fully
- commence begin
- laws and orders are maintained law and order are maintained
- among the world nations among other nations
- management government
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay presents a clear, sustained position and develops it through national development, equal access, and the use of tax revenue, with effective paragraphing and a purposeful conclusion. Its main limitation is occasional overstatement and imprecise phrasing in otherwise fluent arguments. The highest-priority refinement is to make the causal claims more measured and support one key point with a more specific example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is explicit throughout, and multiple relevant reasons are extended with explanation and an example, producing a direct and well-developed response.
Strengthen the case further by qualifying absolute claims and illustrating how publicly funded provision could operate in practice.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through distinct thematic paragraphs, and referencing and linking are generally controlled, though a few transitions are less exact.
Replace additive uses of contrast markers such as ‘On the other hand’ with links that accurately show continuation or consequence.
Lexical Resource
A broad academic vocabulary conveys rights, development, poverty, taxation, and public responsibility effectively, with occasional awkward or overstated combinations.
Refine phrases such as ‘alleviate people from poverty’ and ‘makes a healthy nation’ into more precise academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay demonstrates varied complex structures with good overall control, while a small number of agreement, reference, and clause-boundary lapses remain.
Review singular–plural agreement and pronoun reference in phrases such as ‘its citizen’ followed by ‘their education’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Heathcare and education are two important aspects of a nation and its population. Therefore, some people suggest that education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.