Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
(Agree to a certain extent) Some people believe that a government should provide free education and health care to its residents. To a certain point, I would agree with the idea, but I also believe that citizens should take some responsibility for their children's education and treatment for the family. For several reasons, many people believe that education and healthcare should be funded by the government and offered to the citizens without any cost. To begin with, most people fulfil their tax obligations, and they should get some benefits from the government in the form of free medication and education for their children. It is a fact that education is an essential factor for the development of a country. By providing free education to the residents it is hoped that more skilled and educated workers would be created for the country. These potential workers will definitely boost the country's economy in the future. So free education should be treated as an investment by the authority. One of the reasons to oppose the idea is that free medical service makes some people irresponsible of their health condition. It is believed that expensive health care would force people to follow a strict lifestyle and quit bad habits. Besides, the private fund for education makes the schooling system more effective as guardians are more conscious of taking care of their children's learning. For instance, many private schools are doing better in developing countries than the state-funded schools and parents' active involvement made the difference. To conclude, to a certain extent, I support that a government should provide free education and medication to its citizens. But I also believe that people should also be responsible for their own betterment when it comes to getting education and medical services.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the planning note Original: (Agree to a certain extent) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This parenthetical label is a drafting note rather than part of a formal essay.
- 2. Use the standard phrase Original: point Suggested revision: extent Why it matters: 'To a certain extent' is the standard expression for partial agreement.
- 3. Clarify the two responsibilities Original: their children's education and treatment for the family Suggested revision: their children's education and their family's healthcare Why it matters: The revision creates parallel, precise noun phrases for education and medical care.
- 4. Link reasons logically Original: For several reasons, many people believe Suggested revision: There are several reasons why many people believe Why it matters: The replacement makes the following support a logical explanation of the belief.
- 5. Remove the unnecessary article Original: offered to the citizens Suggested revision: offered to citizens Why it matters: The plural noun refers to citizens generally and does not require 'the'.
- 6. Use a concise expression Original: without any cost Suggested revision: free of charge Why it matters: The fixed phrase expresses the same meaning more naturally.
- 7. Use a formal verb Original: get some benefits Suggested revision: receive benefits Why it matters: 'Receive' is more appropriate than 'get' in formal writing.
- 8. Use a direct construction Original: essential factor for the development Suggested revision: essential to the development Why it matters: The adjective 'essential' naturally takes 'to' in this construction.
- 9. Add the introductory comma Original: residents it is hoped Suggested revision: residents, it is hoped Why it matters: A comma is required after the introductory prepositional phrase.
- 10. Use the correct training verb Original: created Suggested revision: trained Why it matters: Education trains skilled workers rather than creating them.
- 11. Use a clearer time reference Original: potential Suggested revision: future Why it matters: 'Future workers' clearly refers to educated residents entering the workforce.
- 12. Name the institution naturally Original: authority Suggested revision: government Why it matters: 'Government' is the natural general term for the public body making the investment.
Suggested Rewrites
- (Agree to a certain extent) Delete
- point extent
- their children's education and treatment for the family their children's education and their family's healthcare
- For several reasons, many people believe There are several reasons why many people believe
- offered to the citizens offered to citizens
- without any cost free of charge
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear qualified position and considers both the public benefits of government funding and the case for personal responsibility, with education treated convincingly as a national investment. Its main limitation is the unbroken paragraph and weakly supported claim that expensive healthcare improves behaviour; the priority is to organise the two sides separately and replace that assumption with a more credible funding or shared-cost argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear qualified position is maintained and both government provision and individual responsibility are developed, although parts of the opposing case rely on doubtful assumptions.
Replace the claim that expensive healthcare improves lifestyles with a reasoned proposal for co-payments, means testing, or shared responsibility.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from support to reservations and a conclusion, but the lack of paragraphing weakens the visibility of that structure.
Use separate paragraphs for public benefits, personal responsibility, and the final qualified judgement, each with a focused topic sentence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for public services and responsibility, though several collocations and word choices are awkward or imprecise.
Use natural phrases such as healthcare treatment, government investment, take responsibility for their health, private funding, and parental involvement.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures is generally clear, with recurring but non-impeding errors in articles, prepositions, agreement, and clause phrasing.
Proofread article use and dependent clauses, particularly after phrases introducing examples, causes, and passive expectations.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.