Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment but population and education as well. what problems will your country face in the next ten years? how can these problems be overcome?

Same question Compare 2 different answers (Band 5.5–6)

Sample Response

As economies develop and the world’s population grows, the countries of the world have to tackle new and complicated issues. over the next ten years, Australia will have to deal with three critical problems: the environment, transport infrastructure and access to higher education.

Water, air, and land are all affected by pollution, whether it is caused by human waste or chemicals in the emissions and effluents from factories and vehicles. over-watering because of extensive irrigation and the use of chemical fertilizers on farms is also degrading our land. overcrowding and poor design of internal and public space lead to significant levels of noise pollution. everyone wants cleaner water and air, and we certainly need quality land and soil to grow the food we need.

As cities grow and become more crowded so we need to travel further to work and then home again. quality and standards are being raised all the time, with faster and safer freeways and transport systems, and more comfortable travel with airconditioning and softer seating.

Education and training are becoming more critically important. it is expected that increasing numbers of highly educated and trained recruits will be needed in the workforce. companies are looking to employ applicants with postgraduate qualifications, so no longer are undergraduate degrees sufficient.

The cost of providing and maintaining healthy environments, transport, and extended education is enormous. the government is now imposing a levy on people who use our natural resources, finding factories which pollute rivers and the atmosphere, and raising transport fares.education is also becoming more expensive.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Capitalize sentence opening Original: over Suggested revision: Over Why it matters: A new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
  • 2. Reduce wordiness Original: the countries of the world Suggested revision: countries worldwide Why it matters: The revision expresses the same global scope more concisely.
  • 3. Choose formal wording Original: complicated Suggested revision: complex Why it matters: Complex is the more precise academic adjective for multifaceted problems.
  • 4. Capitalize sentence opening Original: overcrowding Suggested revision: Overcrowding Why it matters: A new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
  • 5. Clarify types of space Original: internal and public space Suggested revision: indoor and public spaces Why it matters: Indoor is clearer than internal here, and the plural suits multiple kinds of space.
  • 6. Capitalize sentence opening Original: everyone Suggested revision: Everyone Why it matters: A new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
  • 7. Name the subject Original: quality and standards Suggested revision: Transport quality and standards Why it matters: Adding the subject makes the reference to transport explicit.
  • 8. Use precise description Original: softer Suggested revision: better Why it matters: Better seating is a clearer general description of improved passenger comfort.
  • 9. Capitalize sentence opening Original: it Suggested revision: It Why it matters: A new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
  • 10. Clarify workforce wording Original: increasing numbers of highly educated and trained recruits Suggested revision: an increasing number of highly educated and trained workers Why it matters: Workers fits a general workforce prediction more accurately than recruits.
  • 11. Capitalize sentence opening Original: companies Suggested revision: Companies Why it matters: A new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
  • 12. Use natural word order Original: so no longer are undergraduate degrees sufficient Suggested revision: so undergraduate degrees are no longer sufficient Why it matters: The standard declarative word order is clearer after so.

Suggested Rewrites

  • over Over
  • the countries of the world countries worldwide
  • complicated complex
  • overcrowding Overcrowding
  • internal and public space indoor and public spaces
  • everyone Everyone
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response identifies several relevant future challenges and uses a clear paragraph structure with some strong environmental detail. However, the proposed solutions are brief, unclear, and sometimes counterproductive, while the transport and education problems are not fully explained. The priority is to pair each precisely defined problem with a practical, developed solution and explain how that measure would address it.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

5.0
Scoring rule

Relevant problems are identified, but coverage is uneven and the required solutions are largely undeveloped or unclear.

Next step

Develop one specific solution for each major problem and explain the direct result it would produce.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The response is organised by topic and generally easy to follow, although progression toward the solutions is weak.

Next step

Use a problem-and-solution structure that explicitly connects every proposed measure to the preceding challenge.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Scoring rule

The response shows a reasonably varied topic vocabulary, but awkward choices and spelling errors reduce precision.

Next step

Check word choice and compounds carefully, especially finding versus fining, air conditioning, and extended education.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

There is a useful range of sentence forms, but recurring capitalization and punctuation errors weaken overall control.

Next step

Correct sentence-initial capitals, spacing after full stops, and faulty structures such as As cities grow... so we need.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment but population and education as well. what problems will your country face in the next ten years? how can these problems be overcome?

Your response

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