In many countries, the gap between the rich and poor is increasing. The rich people are becoming richer while the poor is growing poorer. What are the possible causes of this? What can be done to reduce this gap between poor and rich?
Sample Response
The widening gap between the rich and the poor seems to be an increasingly seriousbigger threat that nations worldwidethe worldwide nations have faced in recent decadesare facing in recent decades. I thinkAnd I think individuals, governments and powerful companies are all responsible for this. One primary cause of accelerating economic inequality isOne of the primary causes of the accelerated growth of economic inequality is due to modern technological progress. In order to create maximum wealth at minimum costcreate the largest wealth by costing the least, employers are increasingly motivated to focusare motivated to increasingly concentrate on non-human factors of production, including advanced automationsuper-automation, robotics, digital computerised operations, machines, tools, etc., which, to a large degree, reducewhich to a large degree reduces the level of employment and wagesrate of labour employment as well payment. However, considering the fact that technology development will never cease to march forward, it brings about another vital factor - education and qualified working skills. Except for a very small group of lazy people, most people in povertymost in poverty have been working extremely hardworking hard so badly, yet ending up with far lower payfar less payment. Nevertheless, this can be significantly improved by providing them with further education or traininggetting them re-educated or trained, which means the government should carry out constructive policies such assuch constructive policies as increasing the minimum wage and investing moreincreasing the minimum wage and more investment in education and training, to ensure poor group sharing equal opportunities of education and getting hired and paid. Meanwhile, powerful corporations should take responsibility for reducing povertytake responsibilities to reduce poverty, for example, by providing scholarships or creating more job opportunities for those in need. As for individuals, one should seize each opportunity to equip themselves with modern workplace skillsget themselves armed with modern working skills and stay up to date with the latest technologykeep updated with the latest technology. UltimatelyAnyway, this is now a social issue in general rather than a personal problem. Only with the strength of the whole society with efficient government will we see the chance to reduce the gap.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its coherent link between automation, skills, employment, and inequality, followed by practical proposals involving government, companies, and individuals. Its main limitation is that the causes are narrower than the solutions and the entire discussion appears in one dense paragraph, while several awkward expressions reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to separate causes from solutions, broaden the causal analysis, and develop each policy through a clearer explanation of how it would narrow the gap.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with a clear central cause and several relevant solutions, though the analysis of causes is relatively narrow and some proposals need fuller explanation.
Add another distinct structural cause, such as unequal access to education or tax policy, and show precisely how each proposed measure addresses it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a generally clear cause-to-solution progression, but the absence of paragraphing and several long transitions make the argument dense.
Use separate focused paragraphs for technological causes, government measures, and the roles of corporations and individuals.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of economic and technological vocabulary, but several unnatural collocations and imprecise phrases weaken control.
Replace expressions such as “create the largest wealth by costing the least” and “working hard so badly” with concise natural wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally clear meaning, although errors in agreement, articles, parallelism, and sentence construction recur.
Simplify overloaded sentences and check parallel forms carefully when listing policies, opportunities, and employment outcomes.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, the gap between the rich and poor is increasing. The rich people are becoming richer while the poor is growing poorer. What are the possible causes of this? What can be done to reduce this gap between poor and rich?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.