International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. It has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the problems of international tourism outweigh its advantages?
Sample Response
At present, global tourism is an enormous industry and has touched and changed even many distant parts of the world. This trend has created tremendous opportunities for many nations while also negatively affecting the traditional aspects of the host nations and environment. This essay will focus on the advantages and disadvantages of global tourism and opine that international tourism's beneficial aspects exceed the disadvantages it brings.
Among the disadvantages of global tourism, non-biodegradable litter left behind by tourists is a big environmental issue. It poses a gigantic threat to the host country. This is why many famous tourist destinations, often limit the number of visitors they allow to enter their country. Moreover, local culture and traditions are often negatively impacted by the foreign culture when this area is flocked with tourists from different countries. For instance, many tourist destinations in Asian countries like Thailand and Cambodia do not look and feel like the rest of the country due to their overexposure to foreign cultures and tourists. This has diminished the area's own culture and tradition, giving birth to an alien culture.
On the contrary, international tourism creates transcendent benefits on different levels. First and foremost, it provides individuals with opportunities to see a different culture first-hand. Visiting another country is a comprehensive experience, which enriches our understanding of the world. Additionally, international tourism boosts the economy of the host country. Take Macau as an example. International tourism has produced numerous employment opportunities, as high as 66%, in various sectors of this country.
In my opinion, international tourism brings significant benefits compared to the demerits it invites. By taking proper measures, local authorities can reduce the negative impacts international tourism might bring with it.
To conclude, even though international tourism may impede the environment of tourist destinations and negatively impacts local culture, the advantages of international tourism, including economic benefits and cultural exchange, surely outweigh its disadvantages.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise impact verb Original: has touched and changed even many distant parts Suggested revision: has affected even many remote parts Why it matters: Affected states the impact directly, while touched and changed is vague and repetitive.
- 2. Clarify coordinated objects Original: the traditional aspects of the host nations and environment Suggested revision: the traditions and environments of host nations Why it matters: The revision makes both affected elements parallel and clearly linked to host nations.
- 3. Simplify noun phrase Original: international tourism's beneficial aspects Suggested revision: the benefits of international tourism Why it matters: The revised phrase is more direct and natural.
- 4. Use task comparison verb Original: exceed the disadvantages it brings Suggested revision: outweigh its disadvantages Why it matters: Outweigh expresses the required comparison concisely and precisely.
- 5. Avoid exaggerated wording Original: gigantic Suggested revision: major Why it matters: Major is a measured academic adjective, whereas gigantic sounds overstated here.
- 6. Remove subject-verb comma Original: tourist destinations, often limit Suggested revision: tourist destinations often limit Why it matters: A comma must not separate the subject from its main verb.
- 7. Fix destination reference Original: visitors they allow to enter their country Suggested revision: visitors they receive Why it matters: Destinations receive visitors, while the original wording incorrectly treats each destination as a country.
- 8. Use natural culture phrase Original: impacted by the foreign culture Suggested revision: influenced by foreign cultures Why it matters: Influenced by is a natural collocation and the plural reflects tourists from different countries.
- 9. Fix number and verb Original: when this area is flocked Suggested revision: when these areas are crowded Why it matters: The plural reference requires these areas, and crowded is the correct adjective for places full of tourists.
- 10. Use formal example phrase Original: Asian countries like Thailand Suggested revision: Asian countries such as Thailand Why it matters: Such as introduces examples more precisely in formal writing.
- 11. Use concise comparison verb Original: do not look and feel like Suggested revision: do not resemble Why it matters: Resemble communicates the visual and cultural comparison concisely.
- 12. Use neutral phrasing Original: giving birth to an alien culture Suggested revision: creating a culture perceived as foreign Why it matters: The revision preserves the claimed cultural change without the emotive metaphor.
Suggested Rewrites
- has touched and changed even many distant parts has affected even many remote parts
- the traditional aspects of the host nations and environment the traditions and environments of host nations
- international tourism's beneficial aspects the benefits of international tourism
- exceed the disadvantages it brings outweigh its disadvantages
- gigantic major
- tourist destinations, often limit tourist destinations often limit
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear and consistent judgement that tourism’s advantages outweigh its problems, supported by a well-organised discussion of environmental damage, cultural change, cultural exchange, and economic gains. Its main limitation is evidential precision: several claims are broad or unclear, especially the unexplained Macau figure, while some ambitious vocabulary sounds exaggerated; prioritise specific causal explanation and measured, accurate academic wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both sides and maintains a clear position, with relevant examples, although some support is general or insufficiently explained.
Explain how the stated benefits outweigh the identified harms and clarify the source and meaning of the 66% employment figure for Macau.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through disadvantages, advantages, the writer’s judgement, and the conclusion, though the separate opinion paragraph is repetitive and one contrast linker is inaccurate.
Integrate the evaluative paragraph into the advantages discussion and replace “On the contrary” with “On the other hand.”
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a broad topic vocabulary, but choices such as “gigantic threat,” “alien culture,” “transcendent benefits,” and “impede the environment” are overstated or unnatural.
Use measured collocations such as “significant environmental harm,” “cultural homogenisation,” “substantial benefits,” and “damage the environment.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is generally well controlled, with occasional punctuation, agreement, article, and reference errors.
Remove the comma in “destinations often limit,” clarify pronoun references, and maintain parallel verbs in “may harm the environment and negatively affect local culture.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. It has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the problems of international tourism outweigh its advantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.