International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. It has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the problems of international tourism outweigh its advantages?
Sample Response
Cheap air travel, technological advancements, and globalisation have opened doors for international tourism giving rise to both unprecedented advantages as well as disadvantages. This essay will discuss the benefits and negative consequences brought by the popularity of international tourism and argue that the advantages it offers well exceed the demerits it has.
One major disadvantage of international tourism is the damage caused to the environment due to it. Air travel is a major contributor to carbon emissions and global warming, making it a big concern for many environmentalists. Moreover, the local custom and way of life are influenced heavily by the custom and traditions brought by international tourists, risking the traditional way of life and century-old customs. As a result, global cities look almost the same, and it is hard to tell the difference between a local and an alien culture in many cities around the world.
On the contrary, global tourism has many positive outcomes. It creates huge job opportunities and economic movement, and many countries, including the Maldives, the Bahamas, Thailand, Indonesia, Anguilla, Spain, Aruba and Macau depend on this industry. Global tourism is the main economic driving force in such countries, and without the rise of international tourism, their economy would have struggled. Moreover, people can go to a country where medical treatment is better than in their own country. For instance, a large number of people visit developed countries each year for better treatment, and this is a positive development that ensures quality healthcare for many people. Finally, people travel to other countries to enjoy their holidays, and this is a great opportunity for learning about diverse cultural aspects. With the increasing international tourism, people have a better understanding of foreign cultures, and it helps reduce the gap between nations.
In conclusion, international tourism has some environmental and cultural issues. However, the opportunity and potential it has already created far outweigh its disadvantages. I believe that in this era of globalisation, international tourism will expand rapidly to bring benefits to all nations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add separating comma Original: international tourism giving rise Suggested revision: international tourism, giving rise Why it matters: A comma should introduce the participial result phrase.
- 2. Use paired conjunctions Original: both unprecedented advantages as well as disadvantages Suggested revision: both unprecedented advantages and disadvantages Why it matters: The correct paired construction is 'both ... and'.
- 3. Use concise phrasing Original: negative consequences brought by Suggested revision: negative consequences of Why it matters: The shorter prepositional phrase conveys the same relationship directly.
- 4. Use natural comparison Original: well exceed the demerits it has Suggested revision: far outweigh its disadvantages Why it matters: 'Outweigh' is the natural verb for comparing advantages and disadvantages.
- 5. Remove vague wording Original: the damage caused to the environment due to it Suggested revision: the environmental damage it causes Why it matters: The revision eliminates the vague pronoun and expresses the causal relationship directly.
- 6. Use formal adjective Original: big Suggested revision: major Why it matters: 'Major concern' is more appropriate for formal academic prose.
- 7. Use plural customs Original: the local custom and way of life Suggested revision: local customs and ways of life Why it matters: The plural forms reflect the varied traditions and lifestyles of multiple destinations.
- 8. Place adverb naturally Original: are influenced heavily Suggested revision: are heavily influenced Why it matters: The adverb normally precedes the past participle in this passive construction.
- 9. Match plural nouns Original: custom Suggested revision: customs Why it matters: The general reference to multiple tourist practices requires the plural noun 'customs'.
- 10. Use precise verb Original: brought Suggested revision: introduced Why it matters: 'Introduced' more precisely describes customs entering a local culture.
- 11. Use appropriate term Original: an alien culture Suggested revision: a foreign culture Why it matters: 'Foreign culture' is the neutral term for a culture originating elsewhere.
- 12. Use contrast linker Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: In contrast Why it matters: 'In contrast' introduces the opposing side, whereas 'on the contrary' directly refutes a preceding claim.
Suggested Rewrites
- international tourism giving rise international tourism, giving rise
- both unprecedented advantages as well as disadvantages both unprecedented advantages and disadvantages
- negative consequences brought by negative consequences of
- well exceed the demerits it has far outweigh its disadvantages
- the damage caused to the environment due to it the environmental damage it causes
- big major
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay maintains a clear judgement that tourism’s advantages outweigh its problems and supports both sides with relevant environmental, cultural, economic, medical, and intercultural points. Its strongest feature is the breadth of well-organised support. The main limitation is that the advantages are mostly listed rather than explicitly weighed against the identified harms; prioritise comparing the scale and reversibility of economic benefits, cultural change, and environmental damage before confirming the conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the disadvantages and advantages in depth and maintains a clear judgement, though the actual weighing between them is mostly implicit.
Compare the magnitude, duration, and reversibility of the main benefits and harms to justify more explicitly why the advantages prevail.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly through a disadvantage paragraph, a broader advantages paragraph, and a consistent conclusion, with effective overall cohesion.
Divide the long advantages paragraph into economic and social benefits to improve balance and make the comparative logic easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a good range of topic vocabulary, but several collocations such as ‘economic movement’ and ‘alien culture’ are imprecise or unnatural.
Use precise alternatives such as ‘economic activity’, ‘host communities’, ‘cultural homogenisation’, and ‘cross-cultural understanding’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are generally well controlled, although agreement, article, comparison, and reference errors recur in several places.
Check singular-plural agreement and comparative structures, particularly when referring to countries, economies, customs, and multiple advantages.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. It has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the problems of international tourism outweigh its advantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.