Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some people claim that attending a performance live gives more delight and pleasure than watching the same events on screen. In my opinion, I somewhat disagree with this conviction because each situation is more enjoyable than one another to different kinds of audiences.
On the one hand, going to live performances is more enjoyable to some groups of people. First, sociable audiences prefer to attend these events to enjoy a feeling of togetherness. During a concert or a sports game, people could dance and chant together, which is a stimulating experience for outgoing individuals. Besides, attending live performances gives the audience a chance to have personal interactions with their favorite artists or athletes. For many people, the difference between interacting with their idols in real life, which is a much more pleasant experience, and through a TV screen is as different as night and day.
On the other hand, watching the same events on television is more enjoyable for people with certain characteristics. First of all, television broadcast suits those who want full control of their surroundings when they watch a performance. To be more specific, home viewers could adjust the positions of the seat or the television to their liking, whereas a live event usually only allows the audience to stay in a fixed seat. Furthermore, television audiences are also bothered by fewer distractions than live audiences. For example, people who just want to focus on the performance could avoid attending live events, where noise coming from exciting fans could easily distract them and disturb their experience.
In conclusion, I reiterate my disagreement with the opinion stating that going to a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. While extroverted people and those who want to meet their favorite artists or athletes would prefer to attend live performances, Television broadcast is more preferable for those wanting either no distraction or a full control of their surroundings.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural word order Original: attending a performance live Suggested revision: attending a live performance Why it matters: Placing “live” before the noun produces the standard expression.
- 2. Remove redundant wording Original: gives more delight and pleasure Suggested revision: is more enjoyable Why it matters: “Delight” and “pleasure” overlap in meaning, so the concise comparative is clearer.
- 3. Keep the reference singular Original: events Suggested revision: event Why it matters: The singular “event” must agree with the earlier reference to “a performance.”
- 4. Correct the preposition Original: to Suggested revision: for Why it matters: “Enjoyable for” is the correct pattern when naming the people who enjoy something.
- 5. Name people naturally Original: audiences Suggested revision: people Why it matters: “People” is more natural because sociability describes individuals rather than an audience as a collective.
- 6. Use a general-present modal Original: could Suggested revision: can Why it matters: “Can” suits this general description of what concert and sports audiences are able to do.
- 7. Use a broader term Original: a sports game Suggested revision: a sporting event Why it matters: “Sporting event” is the more natural general term in this comparison.
- 8. Use the uncountable form Original: interactions Suggested revision: interaction Why it matters: “Interaction” works more naturally as an uncountable concept after “a chance to have.”
- 9. Correct number agreement Original: television broadcast suits Suggested revision: television broadcasts suit Why it matters: A general claim requires the plural count noun and corresponding plural verb.
- 10. Use suitable determiners Original: the positions of the seat or the television Suggested revision: the positions of their seat or television Why it matters: The possessive determiner links the adjustable items clearly to the home viewers.
- 11. Avoid an awkward subject Original: a live event usually only allows the audience to stay in a fixed seat Suggested revision: at a live event, audience members usually have to remain in fixed seats Why it matters: The revision makes the audience members, rather than the event, responsible for remaining seated.
- 12. Correct the collocation Original: are also bothered by fewer distractions Suggested revision: also face fewer distractions Why it matters: “Face fewer distractions” is the natural way to express reduced exposure to interruptions.
Suggested Rewrites
- attending a performance live attending a live performance
- gives more delight and pleasure is more enjoyable
- events event
- to for
- audiences people
- could can
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response develops a thoughtful, audience-dependent position and supports both viewing options with clear, relevant examples in a logically organized structure. Its main limitation is imprecision in several comparisons and collocations, which occasionally makes the argument sound less natural; the highest-priority improvement is to express the qualified disagreement more precisely and then edit recurring article, agreement, and word-choice errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses the claim, presents a qualified disagreement, and develops relevant reasons for both viewing preferences.
State the audience-dependent position more precisely in the introduction and explicitly connect each body paragraph to the degree of disagreement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced and clearly paragraphed, with cohesive devices supporting smooth progression.
Vary the internal transitions and tighten a few long comparative sentences to make the flow more natural.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and often apt, but several inaccurate collocations and repeated terms reduce precision.
Correct phrases such as more preferable and exciting fans and vary repeated uses of enjoyable and audience.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a good range of complex structures, although recurring article, number, capitalization, and comparison errors remain.
Proofread noun phrases and comparisons carefully, especially television broadcasts, seat position, and full control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.