Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Same question Compare 3 different answers (Band 6–9)

Sample Response

Some hobbies are relatively easy, while others present more of a challenge. Personally, I believe that both types of hobby can be fun, and I therefore disagree with the statement that hobbies need to be difficult in order to be enjoyable.

On the one hand, many people enjoy easy hobbies. One example of an activity that is easy for most people is swimming. This hobby requires very little equipment, it is simple to learn, and it is inexpensive. I remember learning to swim at my local swimming pool when I was a child, and it never felt like a demanding or challenging experience. Another hobby that I find easy and fun is photography. In my opinion, anyone can take interesting pictures without knowing too much about the technicalities of operating a camera. Despite being straightforward, taking photos is a satisfying activity.

On the other hand, difficult hobbies can sometimes be more exciting. If an activity is more challenging, we might feel a greater sense of satisfaction when we manage to do it successfully. For example, film editing is a hobby that requires a high level of knowledge and expertise. In my case, it took me around two years before I became competent at this activity, but now I enjoy it much more than I did when I started. I believe that many hobbies give us more pleasure when we reach a higher level of performance because the results are better and the feeling of achievement is greater.

In conclusion, simple hobbies can be fun and relaxing, but difficult hobbies can be equally pleasurable for different reasons.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Use direct wording Original: present more of a challenge Suggested revision: are more challenging Why it matters: The adjective conveys the same contrast more concisely.
  • 2. Remove wordiness Original: in order to be enjoyable Suggested revision: to be enjoyable Why it matters: The shorter infinitive expresses the purpose without changing the meaning.
  • 3. Avoid redundancy Original: demanding or challenging Suggested revision: demanding Why it matters: Demanding and challenging carry nearly the same meaning in this phrase.
  • 4. Use precise register Original: easy and fun Suggested revision: accessible and enjoyable Why it matters: These words express ease and pleasure in a more formal register.
  • 5. Make phrasing concise Original: without knowing too much about the technicalities of operating a camera Suggested revision: without extensive technical knowledge of camera operation Why it matters: The revision condenses a wordy phrase while preserving its meaning.
  • 6. Remove redundancy Original: manage to do it successfully Suggested revision: complete it successfully Why it matters: Manage already implies success, so the original wording is repetitive.
  • 7. Tighten the phrase Original: a high level of knowledge and expertise Suggested revision: considerable expertise Why it matters: Expertise already includes substantial knowledge, making the longer phrase redundant.
  • 8. Use dynamic wording Original: the results are better Suggested revision: our results improve Why it matters: Improve expresses the change in performance more directly.
  • 9. Strengthen parallel phrasing Original: the feeling of achievement is greater Suggested revision: our sense of achievement grows Why it matters: This wording creates a clearer parallel with our results improve.
  • 10. Use precise adjective Original: different Suggested revision: distinct Why it matters: Distinct more precisely indicates that each type of hobby is pleasurable for its own reasons.
  • 11. Sentence rewrite Original: This hobby requires very little equipment, it is simple to learn, and it is inexpensive. Suggested revision: This hobby requires very little equipment, is simple to learn, and is inexpensive. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the comma splice and gives the three predicates one shared subject.

Suggested Rewrites

  • present more of a challenge are more challenging
  • in order to be enjoyable to be enjoyable
  • demanding or challenging demanding
  • easy and fun accessible and enjoyable
  • without knowing too much about the technicalities of operating a camera without extensive technical knowledge of camera operation
  • manage to do it successfully complete it successfully
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 9.0

The response fully answers the question with a clear position, carefully developed contrasting arguments, and concrete personal examples that make the reasoning persuasive. Organisation and language are highly controlled; the main limitation is a rare punctuation lapse and slight repetition of central topic words. The highest priority is simply to proofread sentence boundaries and vary repeated wording where this can be done without sacrificing precision.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

9.0
Scoring rule

The position is explicit and fully developed through relevant, well-supported reasons showing why both easy and difficult hobbies can be enjoyable.

Next step

Maintain this depth while making the final conclusion state the degree of disagreement as explicitly as the introduction does.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

9.0
Scoring rule

The argument is effortless to follow, with purposeful paragraphing, strong internal progression, and cohesive devices used naturally.

Next step

Preserve this clear progression while checking that every sentence boundary supports the smoothest possible reading.

LR

Lexical Resource

8.5
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is flexible, precise, and natural across the topic, with only slight repetition of words such as hobby, easy, and difficult.

Next step

Introduce occasional accurate synonyms for repeated topic language while retaining the current clarity and restraint.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

8.5
Scoring rule

A broad range of complex structures is handled accurately and naturally, with only a rare sentence-boundary error.

Next step

Proofread coordinated independent clauses to avoid comma splices in otherwise highly controlled sentences.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your response

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