Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
According to some pundits, the way people watch sporting or entertainment eventsthe means through which sporting or entertainment events can be watched greatly affects one's enjoyment. Specifically, these people contend that witnessing these activities in person provides more satisfaction thanprovides more satisfaction compared to viewing them on television. I mostly agree with this viewI mostly agree with them, even though televised viewingthe other option deserves some consideration.
On the one hand, watching televised broadcasts has its own advantages. FirstFirstly, the viewing experience of sporting events can be vastly enhanced. Professional camera work lets the audience watch instant replays, while commentary delivers analysis of key momentsanalysis of a certain play. ThisThis, as a result, enriches their comprehension of a match in progress. In additionBesides that, televised broadcasts offer immense convenience, as people can watch the eventwitness the spectacle without having to jostle with crowds. Watching a concert from the comfort of one’s home, for instance, is pleasurable, as the audience may view close-up shots while sipping their favorite beverage, without the discomfort of a crowded venuefar removed from the discomfort of bumping into random people.
However, live performances can outshine television broadcasts. What a live event lacks in comfort, it makes up for through a wider range of sensory experienceswith a multitude of sensory inputs. In a concert, for example, not only does the audience enjoy the music, but they also bask in the ambience, the crowd’s vibrancy, and the aura of the performer. This combination provides what many describe as a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Live spectators of a sporting performance, meanwhile, can be eyewitnesses to the true physicality and skill being displayed, thereby enhancing their sense of appreciation for the participating athletes. As the late novelist David Foster Wallace once remarked, watching a live tennis match is unlike seeing it on television, as the camera angles from a broadcast belie the speed of a ball on the court, the only factor to attest the mastery and brilliance of the players who have to hit it.
In conclusion, although both live and televised events are enjoyable, I believe the former option provides a richer, deeper and more exhilarating experience. However, that does not mean witnessing a performance in person is the only way to derive satisfaction from it, as the choice is ultimately down to individual preference or financial constraints.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response sustains a clear, nuanced position and develops both viewing modes with vivid, highly relevant examples, while its strongest work lies in the detailed explanation of live events' sensory impact. A few claims become unnecessarily elaborate or imprecise, particularly the tennis example and the final qualification. Prioritise tighter reasoning and more economical phrasing so every example directly strengthens the central comparison.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and both sides are fully developed with relevant explanation and specific examples.
Make the tennis evidence more concise and explicitly connect its technical detail to greater enjoyment.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and effectively.
Tighten a few long explanatory sequences so the central comparison remains immediately prominent.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexible, with strong control of language for sensory experience and spectatorship.
Replace occasional over-elaborate or slightly strained phrases with simpler, more exact wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately, with errors rare and communication consistently clear.
Refine the longest sentences to prevent heavily embedded clauses from weakening precision.