More and more people in the city live in homes with small spaces or no outdoor areas. Do you think it is negative or positive development?
Sample Response
Rising urban population has made more urban dwellers opt for small living spaces. From my perspective, this trend in urban housing poses more threats than benefits.
On the one hand, tiny spaces offer homeowners a simple, frugal and blissfully stress-free lifestyle. First, given the limited space, one would have to make some hard choices about what to keep, and what to get rid of. They don’t feel weighed down by all the frivolous items they used to own or a huge mortgage, and they spend less time and money cleaning and maintaining their home, which allows more time and money for leisure activities. In addition, living in a tiny home can help save money in many different ways. People would be able to trim their monthly expenses on heating, cooling, property taxes, or home maintenance; and hence, put a little extra each month in the savings account.
However, opponents of this housing trend would argue that smaller spaces may be linked to health risks and privacy issues. Although micro-apartments may be fantastic for young professionals in their 20’s, they definitely can be unhealthy for older people who face different stress factors that can make tight living conditions a problem. Home is supposed to be a safe haven, and a resident with a demanding job may feel trapped in a claustrophobic apartment at night. Another main concern of putting people in tightly-packed living situations is the fundamental lack of privacy to all residents, exerting negative influences on their well-being. There might be a trickle-down effect for children raised in these spaces, who might find it difficult to find a quiet, private room to read and complete their schoolwork.
In short, living in a tiny home does have compelling benefits, but it is not without its challenges as well. Taking the potential health risks and crowding challenges, I believe micro-living may not be the urban panacea we’ve been waiting for. All in all, tiny spaces should be seen as a negative development.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the determiner Original: Rising urban population Suggested revision: The rising urban population Why it matters: The singular noun phrase needs a determiner in this context.
- 2. Remove the comma Original: keep, and Suggested revision: keep and Why it matters: A comma should not separate two coordinated infinitive phrases here.
- 3. Use formal wording Original: get rid of Suggested revision: discard Why it matters: This verb is more concise and appropriately formal for an academic essay.
- 4. Keep reference consistent Original: They don’t feel Suggested revision: People do not feel Why it matters: This avoids switching abruptly from the singular pronoun one to the plural pronoun they.
- 5. Clarify the comparison Original: all the frivolous items they used to own or a huge mortgage Suggested revision: their unnecessary possessions or a large mortgage Why it matters: The revision makes the two burdens parallel and removes an awkward reference to items previously owned.
- 6. Match the plural subject Original: home Suggested revision: homes Why it matters: The plural subject people requires the plural noun homes in this general statement.
- 7. Clarify the result Original: which allows Suggested revision: allowing them Why it matters: This makes the people, rather than an unclear preceding noun, the beneficiaries of the saved time and money.
- 8. Fix coordination punctuation Original: home maintenance; and hence, put Suggested revision: home maintenance and hence put Why it matters: The semicolon and comma wrongly interrupt the coordinated verb phrase.
- 9. Remove the apostrophe Original: 20’s Suggested revision: 20s Why it matters: An apostrophe is not used to form the plural of a decade or age range.
- 10. Use the right preposition Original: to Suggested revision: for Why it matters: Privacy for is the natural prepositional combination when referring to the people affected.
- 11. Avoid repetition Original: find it difficult to find Suggested revision: struggle to find Why it matters: The revision removes the distracting repetition of find while preserving the meaning.
- 12. Complete the phrase Original: Taking the potential health risks and crowding challenges Suggested revision: Taking the potential health risks and crowding challenges into account Why it matters: The fixed expression requires into account before the main clause.
Suggested Rewrites
- Rising urban population The rising urban population
- keep, and keep and
- get rid of discard
- They don’t feel People do not feel
- all the frivolous items they used to own or a huge mortgage their unnecessary possessions or a large mortgage
- home homes
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear position and supports it with well-developed, relevant discussion of financial benefits, health concerns, and privacy, using a strong range of language. Its main limitation is a handful of awkward grammatical and collocational choices that slightly reduce precision. The highest priority is to refine sentence-level control and phrasing while preserving the effective depth and balance of the argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully addressed through a clear negative position and well-developed consideration of both benefits and drawbacks.
Make the comparative judgement even sharper by explicitly weighing why the drawbacks outweigh the financial and lifestyle benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used clearly and effectively.
Refine a few internal transitions so that the movement from general claims to particular groups feels entirely seamless.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, although a few collocations are awkward.
Replace expressions such as privacy to all residents with more natural collocations to improve precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used with strong control, despite occasional agreement, reference, and phrasing problems.
Check pronoun consistency and introductory participle clauses carefully to eliminate the remaining non-impeding errors.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
More and more people in the city live in homes with small spaces or no outdoor areas. Do you think it is negative or positive development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.