Damage to the environment is an inevitable consequence of worldwide improvements in the standard of living. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many people believe that as the human standard of living gets better, it will have a negative effect on the environment. To a certain point, I would agree with the statement, but it really depends on the method that we choose to improve our lifestyle.
It is a fact that some people choose to focus on improving the standard of living without any concern of their surrounding environment. As a consequence, many natural areas have been damaged and caused the extinction of some species. Moreover, cars, refrigerators, air-conditioners, room-heathers etc have improved the way we live our life on one hand and also caused environmental degradation on the other hand. Industrialisation, factories, large offices, luxury apartments, air travel etc are all part of our improved lifestyle but yet they have many negative consequences to our environment.
On the other hand, the public could not generalise a statement that says "the improvement of the living standard will have a negative effect on the environment". It really depends on how the government of each country handle it, as some countries are proven that they could manage both aspects simultaneously. For instance, Canada is known as one of the advanced countries in the world, whereas the living standard of its people is better than many other countries. And the government keep on developing methods, policies and procedures to improve the people's living standard. However, Canada is also known as one of the greenest countries in the world, as the government is also concern about preserving the originality and biodiversity of its nature.
In conclusion, to a certain extent, I would agree that the improvement of the living standard has affected negatively to the environment. But it happens in some countries, whereas the governments have weak and unmeasured regulations. There are some countries who could manage between improving the living standard and maintaining the environment, and their way of governing should be reviewed and followed by other countries to make the world a better place.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant wording Original: human standard of living Suggested revision: standard of living Why it matters: Standard of living already refers to people, so human is redundant.
- 2. Use academic wording Original: gets better Suggested revision: improves Why it matters: Improves is more concise and appropriate for an academic essay.
- 3. Clarify the reference Original: it will have Suggested revision: this improvement will have Why it matters: The pronoun it has an unclear grammatical reference.
- 4. Use the fixed phrase Original: point Suggested revision: extent Why it matters: To a certain extent is the standard expression for qualifying agreement.
- 5. Allow multiple methods Original: method that we choose Suggested revision: methods we choose Why it matters: The plural form better matches the range of ways lifestyles can improve.
- 6. Correct the preposition Original: of Suggested revision: for Why it matters: Concern takes the preposition for when it means care about something.
- 7. Avoid redundancy Original: their surrounding environment Suggested revision: the environment around them Why it matters: Surrounding environment is redundant and the revised phrase is clearer.
- 8. Fix the result structure Original: have been damaged and caused Suggested revision: have been damaged, causing Why it matters: Natural areas cannot both be damaged and directly cause extinction in this passive structure.
- 9. Correct spelling and punctuation Original: room-heathers etc Suggested revision: room heaters, etc. Why it matters: Heathers is a spelling error, and etc. should be preceded by a comma and take a full stop.
- 10. Fix number and phrase Original: our life on one hand Suggested revision: our lives on the one hand Why it matters: The plural possessive meaning and the paired expression both require correction.
- 11. Complete the contrast Original: and also caused Suggested revision: but have also caused Why it matters: The verb needs an auxiliary and but completes the on-the-one-hand contrast.
- 12. Punctuate the abbreviation Original: air travel etc Suggested revision: air travel, etc. Why it matters: The abbreviation should be preceded by a comma and followed by a full stop.
Suggested Rewrites
- human standard of living standard of living
- gets better improves
- it will have this improvement will have
- point extent
- method that we choose methods we choose
- of for
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear qualified position and develops both the environmental costs of higher living standards and the possibility of avoiding them through effective government policy. The Canada example gives the counterargument a concrete focus, although several claims remain broad and the negative-effects paragraph relies heavily on lists. The highest priority is to deepen the causal explanation while correcting frequent agreement, word-form and preposition errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the extent question with a consistent qualified position and relevant arguments on both environmental damage and responsible development.
Explain one environmental mechanism in depth and show more precisely how government policy can break the claimed inevitability.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and overall progression are clear, but some connectors are used inaccurately and list-like development weakens internal flow.
Build each body paragraph around one causal chain and use contrast markers only where the relationship is genuinely contrastive.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient to discuss development, regulation and environmental harm, but frequent collocation and word-form errors reduce precision.
Use natural combinations such as 'concern for the environment', 'environmental consequences' and 'concerned about preserving biodiversity'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted, but agreement, article and preposition errors recur throughout while meaning remains generally clear.
Check subject-verb agreement and verb patterns, especially in sentences about governments, countries and effects on the environment.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Damage to the environment is an inevitable consequence of worldwide improvements in the standard of living. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.