Damage to the environment is an inevitable consequence of worldwide improvements in the standard of living. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many hold on to this view that today mankind’s way of life is surrounded by a wide range of advanced facilities and that exerts profound impacts on nature. I am among those who strongly agreeI am of those individuals who strongly concur with this idea. This essay will assess some effectsIn this essay, it is going to be assessed some effects resulting from modern lifestyle.
As the main issue which could stem from developing urban life is that the communities increase the utilisation of natural resources ranging from oil and gas to forests and water, to improve social facilities in the mega cities. By way of illustrationBy the way of illustration, some governments devise the plans to expand urban areasascend the urban areas throughby deforestation projects. The second considerable plight is the fact that the technologic equipment cause widespread environmental pollution all around the world, which undoubtedly, the health of human being could be brought about those pollutions. For example, in some big cities of the world, the air pollution caused by automobile's exhaust has been turned to the serious crisis.
A third drawback of the modern way of lifeAs the third stumbling block of the advanced way of life, it could be noticed that people have become accustomed to spending time usinghave got used to spending their time working with novel devices ranging from computers and smartphones to video gamescomputers to smartphones and also video games. The side effectseffect of such habits could damagecould negatively affect the families` relationships. As a result, family membersthe member of families, especially the youngsters would feel lonely even if they live together.
In conclusion, by all the reasons mentioned above, it undeniably seems that despite a variety of benefits of a developed lifestylemerits of developed lifestyle, human beings sufferhuman being suffers the problems caused bydifficulties organised from the modern changes. However, adequate and integrated managementthe adequate and integrated management could enable humanityconduct the mankind to make the Earth a better placemake the earth to a better place to live.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response states a clear view and gives relevant discussion of resource depletion and pollution, supported by recognisable examples. However, a substantial paragraph about family relationships does not address environmental damage, and the conclusion introduces an insufficiently explained qualification; frequent awkward structures also impair precision. The priority is to keep every main idea directly focused on environmental consequences and develop a consistent position with clearer, more accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear initial position and develops two relevant environmental effects, but the off-topic third argument and qualified conclusion weaken task coverage.
Replace the discussion of family relationships with a developed environmental consequence and clarify whether damage is truly inevitable despite possible management.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and sequencing are broadly clear, but formulaic linking, cumbersome sentence openings, and the off-topic progression reduce cohesion.
Use direct topic sentences and ensure that every paragraph advances the same environmental line of argument.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms limit clarity and naturalness.
Prefer precise, established phrases for urban development, technological equipment, pollution, and environmental management rather than forcing uncommon wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted throughout, but frequent errors in clause construction, agreement, articles, possession, and passive forms sometimes strain comprehension.
Build complex sentences from accurate independent clauses and systematically check subject-verb agreement, articles, and passive constructions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Damage to the environment is an inevitable consequence of worldwide improvements in the standard of living. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.