Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled. Discuss both views and include your own opinion and examples.

Same question Compare 2 different answers (Band 6.5)

Sample Response

It is often considered by many that they can make noises as per their wish, while other people believe that there should have strict rules to control the amount of noise individual makes. In my opinion, I think noise pollution causes ample social and physical issues, hence it should be controlled.

On the one hand, freedom to speak and making noise is one of the human rights. In other words, every citizen has a right to make sounds or noise as they prefer. For instance, in some special events such as birthday celebrations, dancing parties making noise is accepted in the current society. Moreover, making sounds is often considered as accepted behaviour especially among small children. Making noise provides enjoyment among people obviously during joyful occasions. It helps to ventilate one’s emotions, particularly anger and sorrow.

On the other hand, noise pollution is often accepted as one of the major concerns of the current world due to several drawbacks. Firstly, unpleasant sound causes ample health issues. For example, the high-intensity sound could cause increased stress level, deafness, cardiovascular problems and even sleep disturbances. Secondly, noise would often affect wild life. Animals would probably develop aggressive behaviour and get irritated due to the high-frequency of unpleasant sounds. To cite an example, during thunder and lightning pet animals became frustrated as a result of high pitch sounds. Finally, it leads to trouble communicating. In other sense, communication between individuals becomes difficult owing to noise from the surrounding. In other words, communication gets distracted.

In conclusion, the noise would adversely affect society and one’s body.Hence, necessary steps to be taken to control it. In my opinion, people should abide rules to control noise formation for the welfare of the society and inhabitants.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Use accurate reporting verb Original: considered Suggested revision: believed Why it matters: Believed accurately introduces an opinion, whereas considered needs a different grammatical pattern.
  • 2. Use uncountable noise Original: noises Suggested revision: noise Why it matters: Noise is uncountable when referring generally to unwanted sound.
  • 3. Use natural expression Original: as per their wish Suggested revision: as much as they wish Why it matters: As much as they wish directly expresses the idea of unrestricted quantity.
  • 4. Correct existential structure Original: have Suggested revision: be Why it matters: The existential construction requires be rather than have.
  • 5. Add missing article Original: noise individual makes Suggested revision: noise an individual makes Why it matters: The singular countable noun individual requires an article.
  • 6. Remove redundant stance phrase Original: In my opinion, I think Suggested revision: I think Why it matters: Both expressions signal the same personal view, so one is sufficient.
  • 7. Use precise problem terms Original: ample social and physical issues Suggested revision: serious social and health problems Why it matters: Health problems conveys bodily harm more precisely, and ample is unnatural for negative effects.
  • 8. Link clauses correctly Original: hence Suggested revision: so Why it matters: So correctly joins the result clause after the preceding comma.
  • 9. Use parallel verb forms Original: making Suggested revision: make Why it matters: The coordinated verbs should use parallel infinitive forms after freedom to.
  • 10. Correct complement pattern Original: considered as accepted behaviour Suggested revision: considered acceptable behaviour Why it matters: Considered takes a direct adjective complement here without as.
  • 11. Use natural emotional verb Original: ventilate Suggested revision: express Why it matters: Express one's emotions is the natural collocation for showing anger or sorrow.
  • 12. Use accurate evaluation verb Original: accepted Suggested revision: regarded Why it matters: Regarded as correctly means viewed or recognized as a concern.

Suggested Rewrites

  • considered believed
  • noises noise
  • as per their wish as much as they wish
  • have be
  • noise individual makes noise an individual makes
  • In my opinion, I think I think
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The essay discusses both positions, states a consistent preference for controlling noise, and supports the negative case with several health, wildlife, and communication effects. Its main limitation is that parts of the opposing case and some examples are only loosely relevant, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to distinguish reasonable celebratory freedom from harmful noise and support that distinction with directly relevant examples.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.0
Scoring rule

Both views and the writer's opinion are clearly presented with examples, although the free-speech argument and thunder example do not closely address controllable human noise.

Next step

Develop the permissive view around reasonable social celebration and contrast it directly with excessive noise that harms other people.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5
Scoring rule

The four-paragraph structure creates a clear progression, but repetition of explanatory links and some abrupt sentence connections reduce fluency.

Next step

Use each example once, remove repeated phrases such as 'in other words', and link evidence directly to the paragraph's main claim.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

The response has adequate vocabulary for rights, health, wildlife, and communication, but frequent unnatural collocations limit precision.

Next step

Use natural phrases such as 'make as much noise as they wish', 'release emotions', 'high-pitched noise', 'wildlife', and 'obey noise regulations'.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

A variety of structures is attempted, though errors in agreement, articles, modal forms, sentence boundaries, and verb patterns recur.

Next step

Revise forms such as 'there should be strict rules', 'the amount of noise an individual makes', and 'necessary steps should be taken'.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled. Discuss both views and include your own opinion and examples.

Your response

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