Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled. Discuss both views and include your own opinion and examples.
Sample Response
It took centuries for the inhabitants of planet earth to transform into a civilised society. Norms and traditions that were earlier considered to be of great value are gradually replaced with modern etiquette and manners. Being a citizen of democratic society one has the right to act and express as per their likings such as making noise, but many people believe that freedom of expression in high decibel should be regulated. This essay will analyse both views before presenting an opinion.
On the one hand, people argue that they are free to do and act whatever they like. Proponents of this view point say that this is their fundamental right and make noise or live peacefully should be the sole preference of an individual. For instance, in sporting events, like football, the decibels are at their highest peak or celebrations like birthday parties at home where children shout on the top of their voice to make their presence felt. Moreover, clattering depends on the situation also, for instance, patient's attendants in third world countries shout on the administration staff and make noise if they are overcharged on their bills. They believe that by shouting they can suppress another party.
On the contrary, another school of thought believes that one should live peacefully and respect the rights of their neighbour, passersby, and dwellers and so on. They say that people should always raise their concerns with politeness and softness in attitude. Proponents of this view point don't argue that noise in the form of music or parties should be regulated and the government should define laws and policies to kerb it because they distract and discomfort individuals who are sick, studying or sleeping and so on. For instance, in theUK one can be jailed if found disturbing their neighbour through loud music or quarrel.
To recapitulate, the aforementioned provides solid arguments in favour of both views. I personally believe that noise levels by an individual should be strongly regulated through legislatures in residential areas, hospitals, libraries and so on. However, one should be allowed to enjoy and make noise in sporting arena's, parks etc.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Capitalize proper noun Original: earth Suggested revision: Earth Why it matters: “Earth” is a proper noun when it names the planet.
- 2. Fix tense and voice Original: are gradually replaced Suggested revision: have gradually been replaced Why it matters: The present perfect passive correctly describes a change continuing into the present.
- 3. Use accurate wording Original: clattering depends on the situation also Suggested revision: noise also depends on the situation Why it matters: “Clattering” denotes a specific rattling sound and does not fit the general point about noise.
- 4. Fix possessive form Original: patient's attendants Suggested revision: patients’ attendants Why it matters: The phrase refers generally to attendants of multiple patients, so the plural possessive is needed.
- 5. Fix preposition and form Original: shout on the administration staff Suggested revision: shout at the administrative staff Why it matters: People “shout at” someone, and “administrative” is the adjective modifying “staff.”
- 6. Choose precise verb Original: suppress another party Suggested revision: intimidate the other party Why it matters: “Intimidate” accurately expresses using shouting to pressure another person.
- 7. Fix number and list Original: their neighbour, passersby, and dwellers and so on Suggested revision: their neighbours and other people nearby Why it matters: The plural noun and concise grouping create a grammatical, coherent list.
- 8. Use natural adverbs Original: with politeness and softness in attitude Suggested revision: politely and calmly Why it matters: The original noun phrases are unnatural ways to describe how concerns are raised.
- 9. Correct meaning and form Original: view point don't argue Suggested revision: viewpoint argue Why it matters: The paragraph supports regulation, so the negative auxiliary reverses the intended meaning, and “viewpoint” is one word.
- 10. Correct spelling Original: kerb Suggested revision: curb Why it matters: “Curb” is the correct spelling of the verb meaning to restrain.
- 11. Clarify reference Original: they distract and discomfort individuals Suggested revision: such noise disturbs individuals Why it matters: This removes the unclear pronoun and uses the natural verb “disturbs.”
- 12. Complete passive clause Original: if found disturbing their neighbour Suggested revision: if they are found disturbing their neighbours Why it matters: The clause needs an explicit subject and auxiliary, while the general noun should be plural.
Suggested Rewrites
- earth Earth
- are gradually replaced have gradually been replaced
- clattering depends on the situation also noise also depends on the situation
- patient's attendants patients’ attendants
- shout on the administration staff shout at the administrative staff
- suppress another party intimidate the other party
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents both positions, supplies several contextual examples, and reaches a sensible qualified view that noise should be controlled in sensitive places while remaining acceptable at public events. Its main weakness is imprecise reasoning and wording, including a contradictory sentence about whether regulation is supported. The priority is to define reasonable freedom and harmful noise clearly, then explain how location, time, and impact should determine the rules.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a nuanced opinion are included with examples, but some examples do not convincingly justify unrestricted noise and one key claim is contradictory.
Distinguish celebratory noise from harmful disturbance and evaluate each view against specific criteria such as place, duration, and volume.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and contrast between views create clear progression, although some supporting points are only loosely connected.
Give each body paragraph a precise controlling claim and ensure every example demonstrates that claim directly.
Lexical Resource
A reasonable range is attempted, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices such as clattering, softness in attitude, and legislatures weaken precision.
Use direct topic language such as noise levels, public disturbance, considerate behaviour, regulation, and legislation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of structures is attempted, but article, agreement, possessive, preposition, and sentence-construction errors recur.
Check gerund subjects, pronoun agreement, and complete clause structures, particularly when expressing what proponents believe.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled. Discuss both views and include your own opinion and examples.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.