Many people prefer to read and tell stories to their children and regard it as a good opportunity to establish a stronger parent-child relationship. Others, however, think that parents do not need to do that and children should read books, watch TV and movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
People have different views on whether parents should read or tell stories to children. From my point of view, this practice is more beneficial to children, although the opposite view does have some advantages.
It is undeniable that letting children read books by themselves would cultivate their independence. As they can explore the world of books by themselves, there is no restriction to their mind. Children can build up the ability of independent thinking in this way. Besides, more broaden information is available for children by this practice. Books, movies, TV have various information and some of them are very valuable knowledge. It is a good way for children to accumulate this knowledge with entertainment ways as they won't feel any pressure on it.
Despite above argument, the way of sharing or reading stories to children by their parents has more distinctive benefits. Parents can enhance the relationship with their children. For example, the time spent on reading stories together is memorable and meaningful to both parents and children and they can have an open discussion or free chat with each other. Another benefit is that parents can provide an appropriate guidance to their children so as to keep them away from some negative materials which are overwhelming in the media nowadays. It is essential for children to grow up with their parents' guidance.
To sum up, reading stories to children can enhance the intimacy between parents and children as well as provide some proper guidance, although letting children read by themselves can help them to build up their independence and acquire various knowledge from different channels.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the collocation Original: restriction to their mind Suggested revision: restriction on their thinking Why it matters: 'Restriction on' is the correct collocation, and 'thinking' conveys the intended meaning more naturally.
- 2. Use concise phrasing Original: build up the ability of independent thinking Suggested revision: develop the ability to think independently Why it matters: This is a more natural and concise way to express the same ability.
- 3. Use adjective form Original: more broaden information Suggested revision: broader information Why it matters: The comparative adjective 'broader' is required instead of 'more' plus the verb form 'broaden'.
- 4. Correct the prepositions Original: available for children by this practice Suggested revision: available to children through this practice Why it matters: Information is 'available to' someone and obtained 'through' a practice.
- 5. Complete the list Original: Books, movies, TV Suggested revision: Books, movies and TV programmes Why it matters: The list needs a coordinating conjunction, and 'TV programmes' is the countable item intended here.
- 6. Use natural verb Original: have various information Suggested revision: provide varied information Why it matters: Sources 'provide' information, while 'varied' describes its range naturally.
- 7. Fix uncountable reference Original: some of them are very valuable knowledge Suggested revision: some of it is valuable knowledge Why it matters: 'Information' and 'knowledge' are uncountable here, so they take a singular reference and verb.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: accumulate Suggested revision: acquire Why it matters: People more naturally 'acquire knowledge' than 'accumulate knowledge'.
- 9. Use natural phrasing Original: with entertainment ways Suggested revision: through entertaining media Why it matters: This phrase clearly expresses that the knowledge is gained through enjoyable forms of media.
- 10. Correct the expression Original: feel any pressure on it Suggested revision: feel under any pressure Why it matters: The idiomatic construction is 'feel under pressure', without 'on it'.
- 11. Clarify the structure Original: the way of sharing or reading stories to children by their parents Suggested revision: parents sharing or reading stories with their children Why it matters: This structure places the agent clearly and uses the natural preposition 'with'.
- 12. Choose precise adjective Original: distinctive Suggested revision: significant Why it matters: 'Significant' expresses the greater importance of the benefits more accurately than 'distinctive'.
Suggested Rewrites
- restriction to their mind restriction on their thinking
- build up the ability of independent thinking develop the ability to think independently
- more broaden information broader information
- available for children by this practice available to children through this practice
- Books, movies, TV Books, movies and TV programmes
- have various information provide varied information
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both views, states a clear preference, and uses a straightforward paragraph structure to keep the argument easy to follow. Its main limitation is that several supporting points remain general and are expressed through recurring awkward collocations and article or noun-form errors. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each view with a more specific explanation or example while revising phrases for natural, precise English.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed and the writer's preference is clear throughout, although some supporting ideas are general or only briefly explained.
Extend the independence argument with a concrete example and explain more precisely how independent media use builds judgement rather than merely supplying information.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure is logical and progression is clear, although some linking expressions are mechanical or inaccurately formed.
Use more natural transitions between claims and make the internal progression of each body paragraph less list-like.
Lexical Resource
The response shows enough range to discuss independence, knowledge, intimacy, and guidance, but frequent collocational and word-form errors reduce precision.
Revise combinations such as more broaden information, various knowledge, and entertainment ways into natural noun phrases and collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the argument clearly, but recurring errors with articles, countability, agreement, and sentence construction are noticeable.
Focus proofreading on uncountable nouns and articles, then simplify sentences whose grammatical structure becomes awkward.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people prefer to read and tell stories to their children and regard it as a good opportunity to establish a stronger parent-child relationship. Others, however, think that parents do not need to do that and children should read books, watch TV and movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.