Should museums and art galleries be free of charge for the general public, or should a charge, even a voluntary charge, be levied for admittance? Discuss this issue, and give your opinion.
Sample Response
One very complex issue in today’s world is the funding of museums and art galleries. There is an argument that they should be free to the general public and funded by governments, but there is also a case for saying that they should charge an entrance fee like other attractions. In this essay, I am going to examine both sides of this issue.
Those who argue that museums should be free typically make one of two arguments. The first argument is that institutions like museums are a public service and therefore there should be free access to the man in the street. If for example there was a charge only the wealthy could afford to enjoy works of art. The second argument is that if they did levy a charge, fewer people would go to museums. This would be serious as they are educational institutions and standards would fall.
In contrast, there is only one major argument on the other side of the debate. This is that both museums and art galleries need to charge an entrance fee if they are to survive in the modern world. Governments do not have sufficient funds to subsidise all such institutions and there are other priorities for public money. Therefore these galleries and museums need to charge their customers not only to survive but to update their exhibitions and make new purchases. By way of illustration, the Tate Modern in London could not have been founded without revenue from admissions.
My personal position is that there is no clear answer to this question as there are such strong arguments on both sides. Perhaps it is possible for some museums and galleries to charge fees and for others not to.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Set off interrupter Original: If for example Suggested revision: If, for example, Why it matters: The parenthetical phrase needs commas on both sides.
- 2. Use concise wording Original: very complex issue Suggested revision: complex issue Why it matters: Removing the vague intensifier makes the opening more precise.
- 3. Use formal phrasing Original: today’s world Suggested revision: contemporary society Why it matters: This alternative gives the time reference a more academic tone.
- 4. Condense the phrase Original: funded by governments Suggested revision: publicly funded Why it matters: The concise adjective expresses the same funding arrangement clearly.
- 5. Use concise future Original: going to examine Suggested revision: will examine Why it matters: The simple future is more concise in this essay outline.
- 6. Use inclusive wording Original: the man in the street Suggested revision: the general public Why it matters: This expression is more neutral and appropriate for formal writing.
- 7. Use formal hypothetical Original: there was a charge Suggested revision: there were a charge Why it matters: The subjunctive form is preferable for this hypothetical condition.
- 8. Avoid wordiness Original: works of art Suggested revision: art Why it matters: The shorter noun retains the intended meaning in this context.
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: did levy a charge Suggested revision: charged an entrance fee Why it matters: This wording is more natural and specific in the museum context.
- 10. Clarify the reference Original: This would be serious Suggested revision: This decline would be concerning Why it matters: Naming the decline makes the reference clearer and the evaluation more precise.
- 11. Clarify argument sequence Suggested revision: Present the access argument first, then signal that the attendance argument is a separate consequence of charging. Why it matters: A clearer internal sequence would distinguish the two stated reasons.
- 12. Link funding logic Suggested revision: Make the progression from limited public funds to admission revenue and then institutional improvements explicit. Why it matters: The paragraph contains this chain, but its logical stages could connect more smoothly.
Suggested Rewrites
- If for example If, for example,
- very complex issue complex issue
- today’s world contemporary society
- funded by governments publicly funded
- going to examine will examine
- the man in the street the general public
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay presents a balanced, logically organised discussion with confident, precise language and a suitably qualified position. Its main limitation is that the final opinion is only briefly stated, while some support—particularly the claim about educational standards and the Tate Modern example—is asserted rather than convincingly explained; the priority is to develop the preferred mixed-fee approach and support it with accurate, specific reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both sides are addressed with a clear, qualified conclusion, though some supporting claims and the writer's preferred compromise remain insufficiently developed.
Explain how the proposed mixed-fee system would work and substantiate each major claim with accurate, relevant support.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the comparison naturally.
Strengthen the link between the two-sided discussion and the compromise in the conclusion so that the final position feels fully prepared.
Lexical Resource
A broad and generally precise vocabulary supports the argument, with only occasional imprecise phrasing such as the claim that educational standards would fall.
Choose more exact wording for causal claims and avoid expressions whose meaning is broader or less defensible than the intended point.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only minor punctuation and phrasing lapses that do not impede communication.
Refine comma placement around introductory phrases and conditional clauses to make already strong sentences fully controlled.
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