Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extend do you agree?
Sample Response
Investment in transportation is a major concern for many individuals. There is a notion that the authorities should allocate more funds for the construction of roads and motorways rather than the development of public transportation. This essay totally agrees with the mentioned idea for several reasons.
To begin with, transport infrastructure should be prioritized because the operation of conveyances, including public vehicles, relies heavily on the quality of roads and motorways. The development of roadway systems is indeed an essential prerequisite for the coordination of numerous forms of transport from motorbikes, cars, and trucks to buses. South Korea is an outstanding example. This country, where the vast majority of citizens are pedestrians and public transport commuters, has always put great emphasis on building and maintaining a reliable system of roads.
Furthermore, the advancement of roads and motorways is significantly crucial since this is an effective measure to tackle accidents and congestions. Promoting the quality of roadways helps ensure travel smoothness and safety while expanding thoroughfares enables vehicles to move more easily and be better controlled even during peak hours. The costs of negligence in constructing high-quality roads include increased mortality from car accidents and disrupted delivery of passengers and goods, for instance, and consequently, lead to serious economic losses. Therefore, this ought to be one of the first and foremost focuses of investment.
In conclusion, my firm conviction is that allotting money to roads and motorways is of greater importance than distributing budgets to public transport due to the fundamental role of roadways in the whole conveying system as well as the demand to deal with various traffic problems.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use formal emphasis Original: totally Suggested revision: fully Why it matters: “Fully agrees” is a more natural formal collocation in an academic essay.
- 2. Name the viewpoint Original: mentioned idea Suggested revision: view Why it matters: “View” is more concise and precise for the position stated in the prompt.
- 3. Use natural wording Original: operation of conveyances Suggested revision: movement of vehicles Why it matters: The replacement is clearer and more natural in this transport context.
- 4. Clarify vehicle type Original: public vehicles Suggested revision: public transport vehicles Why it matters: The added modifier makes the reference to buses and similar services precise.
- 5. Remove redundant emphasis Original: significantly crucial Suggested revision: crucial Why it matters: “Crucial” already expresses a very high degree of importance.
- 6. Correct collocations Original: tackle accidents and congestions Suggested revision: reduce accidents and congestion Why it matters: Road improvements can reduce these problems, and “congestion” is normally uncountable here.
- 7. Use the correct verb Original: Promoting Suggested revision: Improving Why it matters: Quality is improved rather than promoted in this context.
- 8. Use concise phrasing Original: first and foremost focuses of investment Suggested revision: top investment priorities Why it matters: The replacement avoids redundant emphasis and uses a natural collocation.
- 9. Correct the collocation Original: distributing budgets Suggested revision: allocating funds Why it matters: Money or funds are allocated, whereas a budget is a spending plan.
- 10. Use precise terminology Original: whole conveying system Suggested revision: overall transport system Why it matters: “Transport system” is the standard term for the network being described.
- 11. Use natural phrasing Original: demand to deal with Suggested revision: need to address Why it matters: The replacement expresses the necessity of responding to traffic problems more naturally.
- 12. Use direct attribution Original: There is a notion Suggested revision: Some people argue Why it matters: The replacement introduces the viewpoint more directly and naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- totally fully
- mentioned idea view
- operation of conveyances movement of vehicles
- public vehicles public transport vehicles
- significantly crucial crucial
- tackle accidents and congestions reduce accidents and congestion
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear position and sustains it through two logically organised reasons, with especially strong control of complex sentence structures. Its main limitation is that some support, particularly the South Korea example, does not convincingly establish why road spending should take priority, and several word choices sound unnatural. Strengthen the comparison with public transport and use more precise, idiomatic collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported by two relevant reasons, though the comparison with public transport and one example are not fully convincing.
Explain explicitly why each claimed benefit justifies prioritising roads over direct investment in public transport.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally guide the argument without obscuring relationships.
Make the link between each example and its paragraph claim more explicit to sharpen progression within body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often precise, but several ambitious expressions are awkward or inaccurate, including combinations concerning congestion and passenger transport.
Replace inflated or unusual wording with idiomatic transport collocations and check whether each less common term fits its exact context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with strong control, and most sentences are accurate and easy to follow.
Refine occasional dense constructions by checking modifier placement and keeping long coordinated clauses structurally balanced.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extend do you agree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.