Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extend do you agree?
Sample Response
It is argued that money should be spent on developing roads and motorways rather than on public transport systems. Personally I think both road and public transport systems have vital roles to play in modern society, and therefore should be equally invested in.
On the one hand, better road quality increases the level of safety and reduces traffic congestion. In many cities and provinces in Vietnam for example, the number of road accidents is ever-increasing due to the condition of the road’s surface. This is clear evidence that the government should spend money improving the quality of road systems in order to ensure the safety of people. Additionally, building wider roads and more motorways in big cities like Ho Chi Minh, where traffic congestion is still a major problem, will help to increase the space for a larger number of vehicles, hence reducing pressure on the city’s main roads as well as congestion.
On the other hand, better public transport systems are beneficial for the environment and people who do not have a private vehicle. In fact, some modes of public transport like subways produce less pollutants than cars and other private vehicles. Therefore, spending money providing people with access to public transport will improve air quality and reduce pollution. Furthermore, for those who do not have a private vehicle, such as a motorbike or car, buses and subways are a great choice if they have to commute daily.
In conclusion, for the reasons above, I believe money would be well-spent on not only roads but also public transport systems.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add introductory comma Original: Personally I think Suggested revision: Personally, I think Why it matters: The introductory adverb should be followed by a comma.
- 2. Make structure parallel Original: both road and public transport systems Suggested revision: both road systems and public transport systems Why it matters: Repeating systems creates a clear parallel structure after both.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: should be equally invested in Suggested revision: should receive equal investment Why it matters: Receive investment is more natural and direct than the passive phrasing used here.
- 4. Use concise collocation Original: increases the level of safety Suggested revision: improves safety Why it matters: This concise collocation expresses the same idea more naturally.
- 5. Set off example Original: Vietnam for example Suggested revision: Vietnam, for example, Why it matters: The parenthetical phrase for example requires commas on both sides.
- 6. Use consistent plural Original: the condition of the road’s surface Suggested revision: the condition of road surfaces Why it matters: The plural form fits the reference to roads across many cities and provinces.
- 7. Use precise wording Original: the space for a larger number of vehicles Suggested revision: capacity for more vehicles Why it matters: Capacity is a more precise and concise term for the amount of traffic roads can accommodate.
- 8. Remove awkward coordination Original: pressure on the city’s main roads as well as congestion Suggested revision: pressure and congestion on the city’s main roads Why it matters: This revision coordinates the two effects clearly and avoids a vague attachment.
- 9. Improve the collocation Original: beneficial for the environment and people Suggested revision: beneficial to the environment and to people Why it matters: Beneficial to is the more idiomatic collocation for the two affected groups here.
- 10. Use countable quantifier Original: less Suggested revision: fewer Why it matters: Pollutants is countable, so it requires fewer rather than less.
- 11. Separate the two benefits Suggested revision: Signal the shift from road safety to congestion before introducing the Ho Chi Minh City example. Why it matters: A clearer internal transition would distinguish the paragraph's two benefits and improve progression.
Suggested Rewrites
- Personally I think Personally, I think
- both road and public transport systems both road systems and public transport systems
- should be equally invested in should receive equal investment
- increases the level of safety improves safety
- Vietnam for example Vietnam, for example,
- the condition of the road’s surface the condition of road surfaces
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its clear position, purposeful paragraphing, and well-explained discussion of why both road and public-transport investment matter. The main limitation is occasional imprecision in phrasing and a few claims that could be examined more critically. The highest-priority improvement is to develop the comparison between the two spending priorities more explicitly while polishing minor collocational and grammatical slips.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the extent question with a clear balanced position and develops relevant reasons for investing in both systems.
Compare the relative value of the two investments more explicitly instead of discussing their benefits mainly in parallel.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced very clearly in well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly throughout.
Make the relationship between the two main arguments even tighter by linking them through an explicit comparative sentence.
Lexical Resource
A wide, topic-appropriate vocabulary is used effectively, although a few collocations and forms such as less pollutants are imprecise.
Polish word combinations and countability choices, particularly around spending, pollution, and transport provision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses a broad range of complex sentences with strong control, despite occasional article, punctuation, and agreement-related lapses.
Proofread long sentences for comma placement and small noun-form errors to achieve more consistently error-free control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extend do you agree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.