Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extend do you agree?
This response is estimated at Band 7.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
It is argued that money should be spent on developing roads and motorways rather than on public transport systems. Personally, I thinkPersonally I think both road systems and public transport systemsboth road and public transport systems have vital roles to play in modern society, and therefore should receive equal investmentshould be equally invested in.
On the one hand, better road quality improves safetyincreases the level of safety and reduces traffic congestion. In many cities and provinces in Vietnam, for example,Vietnam for example, the number of road accidents is ever-increasing due to the condition of road surfacesthe condition of the road’s surface. This is clear evidence that the government should spend money improving the quality of road systems in order to ensure the safety of people. Additionally, building wider roads and more motorways in big cities like Ho Chi Minh, where traffic congestion is still a major problem, will help to increase capacity for more vehiclesthe space for a larger number of vehicles, hence reducing pressure and congestion on the city’s main roadspressure on the city’s main roads as well as congestion.
On the other hand, better public transport systems are beneficial to the environment and to peoplebeneficial for the environment and people who do not have a private vehicle. In fact, some modes of public transport like subways produce fewerless pollutants than cars and other private vehicles. Therefore, spending money providing people with access to public transport will improve air quality and reduce pollution. Furthermore, for those who do not have a private vehicle, such as a motorbike or car, buses and subways are a great choice if they have to commute daily.
In conclusion, for the reasons above, I believe money would be well-spent on not only roads but also public transport systems.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its clear position, purposeful paragraphing, and well-explained discussion of why both road and public-transport investment matter. The main limitation is occasional imprecision in phrasing and a few claims that could be examined more critically. The highest-priority improvement is to develop the comparison between the two spending priorities more explicitly while polishing minor collocational and grammatical slips.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the extent question with a clear balanced position and develops relevant reasons for investing in both systems.
Compare the relative value of the two investments more explicitly instead of discussing their benefits mainly in parallel.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced very clearly in well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly throughout.
Make the relationship between the two main arguments even tighter by linking them through an explicit comparative sentence.
Lexical Resource
A wide, topic-appropriate vocabulary is used effectively, although a few collocations and forms such as less pollutants are imprecise.
Polish word combinations and countability choices, particularly around spending, pollution, and transport provision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses a broad range of complex sentences with strong control, despite occasional article, punctuation, and agreement-related lapses.
Proofread long sentences for comma placement and small noun-form errors to achieve more consistently error-free control.