A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Social status, wealth and material possession have turned into the indicators to judge someone in the society these days while traditions, good quality and honour are no longer valued, though they are the de facto to judge a person. I agree that modern world has a completely different set of criteria for assessing or honouring a member of the society, though they are not the real elements to define a person. Earlier, societies had some specific indicators to judge a man or woman. Among the judging indicators, they preferred qualities like honesty, kindness, trusts, honour etc. But with the change of time, such pointers have vanished. Unluckily the present society prefers social status or riches to judge anyone. A real-life experience may make it simpler. Recently, I closely observed a local election in a distant part of India. Among the two candidates – one of them came from a high profile background while the other one was a shabby man who merely had his own permanent living space in the locality. The majority of the people supported the first individual. They took him granted as a gentleman as he is enriched with material possessions. On the contrary, only a few people supported the poor guy. He was unable to spend bucks for the election but was competing on some moral grounds. He dreamt of changing the society. Unluckily he was defeated by the wealthy candidate. The rich man did not allow his opposition to be an obstacle to his success. This triumph and defeat made me realise that material possessions are the key to judging as important in society. When people have enough riches to spend, they can buy social status and supports. But unfortunately, when someone comes up with humanitarian features, social elites term them as old-fashioned. They are ignored. Therefore, I think such ideas should be changed. We should appreciate the humane features than social status and material possessions. Otherwise, the consequences will be detrimental. When the social status will be the indicator to judge oneself, I believe that would be too humiliating and may lead to massive social disorder.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: possession Suggested revision: possessions Why it matters: The general category of owned goods requires the plural form.
- 2. Remove unnecessary article Original: in the society Suggested revision: in society Why it matters: “Society” takes no article when referring generally to the social world.
- 3. Use plural qualities Original: quality Suggested revision: qualities Why it matters: The sentence refers to multiple valued personal characteristics.
- 4. Complete the expression Original: the de facto to judge a person Suggested revision: the genuine basis for judging a person Why it matters: “De facto” cannot function as a noun meaning the true basis for assessment.
- 5. Add definite article Original: modern world Suggested revision: the modern world Why it matters: The unique general concept “modern world” requires the definite article.
- 6. Use accurate wording Original: assessing or honouring a member of the society Suggested revision: assessing a member of society Why it matters: “Honouring” does not describe judging a person's worth, and generic “society” needs no article.
- 7. Use natural phrasing Original: the real elements to define a person Suggested revision: the true qualities that define a person Why it matters: Personal qualities, rather than “elements,” naturally describe what defines someone.
- 8. Use uncountable noun Original: trusts Suggested revision: trust Why it matters: “Trust” is uncountable when naming a personal value.
- 9. Use concise time phrase Original: with the change of time Suggested revision: over time Why it matters: “Over time” is the natural expression for gradual historical change.
- 10. Use natural adverb Original: Unluckily the present society Suggested revision: Unfortunately, present-day society Why it matters: “Unfortunately” is the idiomatic sentence adverb, and “present-day” modifies society precisely.
- 11. Use correct preposition Original: Among Suggested revision: Of Why it matters: Use “of” rather than “among” when referring to exactly two candidates.
- 12. Use formal collocation Original: spend bucks for the election Suggested revision: spend money on the election Why it matters: “Money” is appropriately formal, and the verb “spend” takes “on” before its purpose.
Suggested Rewrites
- possession possessions
- in the society in society
- quality qualities
- the de facto to judge a person the genuine basis for judging a person
- modern world the modern world
- assessing or honouring a member of the society assessing a member of society
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and develops it through a relevant election example, which is its strongest feature. Its effectiveness is reduced by the absence of paragraphing and by frequent awkward word choices and grammatical errors, although the central meaning remains understandable. Prioritise dividing the argument into logical paragraphs and revising collocations, articles, and sentence structures so the reasoning reads more precisely and professionally.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported by a relevant extended example, though some claims are overgeneralised or insufficiently qualified.
Explain more carefully how the example represents wider social judgement and qualify broad claims about modern society.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a broadly logical sequence, but the single-paragraph format and repetitive linking weaken organisation and progression.
Separate the thesis, example, analysis, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with clearer internal topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range for discussing values and status, but frequent awkward or inaccurate word choices reduce precision.
Replace informal or unnatural phrases such as “spend bucks” and “humanitarian features” with precise academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are mixed, but frequent errors with articles, prepositions, agreement, and conditionals limit accuracy.
Review article use and conditional structures, then correct recurring patterns such as “taken for granted” and “when status becomes.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.