A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
It is true that people are judged based on their social status and personal wealth nowadays, and traditional values such as integrity and honesty are being forgotten. To a certain extent, I would agree with the fact that people are valued based on their wealth and status these days, but I also believe that old fashioned values still plays an important part in our societies.
It is believed that we are living in an era of pop culture and materialismin the pop culture and materialistic era these days, as the public judgesjudge each individual based on their social status and wealthbased on his/her social status and wealth. It can be seen from how celebrities become famous nowadays. Many celebrities are popularare being popular because of their physical appearance and personal wealth, such as Kim Kardashianwealth such Kim Kardashian. Her reality television program never shows any world class acting quality, but only shows about her luxurious mansions and fancy cars. There are alsoAnd then there are other celebrities who are well known due to their social statusdue to his/her social status as a son or daughteras the son or the daughter of a wealthy family. One of the examples would be Paris Hilton. Although she has a poor attitudemany bad attitudes, she is still popular because she inherited her parents' wealthinherits the assets of her parents.
Although traditional values such as respect others, being responsible, honesty and integrity seem to be forgotten nowadays, but they still play an important part in many communities. In manycommon cases, employers are still assessing their potential employees based on their hardworking attitudebased their hard working attitude, positive behaviour and their integrity. Businesspeople alsoAnd then business people are still looking for business partners who are reliable and trustworthyreliable, can be trusted, and dependable. Therefore, it is important for adults to educate their children about these positive values because they still play an essential part in societyin the societies.
In conclusion, even though people are judged based on their wealth and social status nowadays, but I do believe that old fashioned values such as honour, respect and trust cannot be eliminated from our daily lives. Therefore, we must teachTherefore we must teach the younger generationour young generation about these valuescultures, in order for them to survive and succeed in the future.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a nuanced position and supports both sides with clear examples from celebrity culture, employment, and business. Its main weakness is frequent grammatical inaccuracy and some awkward wording, especially in agreement, prepositions, pronoun reference, and concessive clauses. The highest-priority improvement is to edit complex sentences carefully so the strong argument is expressed with greater accuracy and naturalness.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the extent question with a consistent partial-agreement position and relevant, reasonably developed examples.
Qualify the celebrity examples more carefully and explain more explicitly how they demonstrate society-wide judgments of personal worth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are organised into a clear introduction, two contrasting body sections, and a conclusion, with generally logical progression.
Reduce mechanical linking such as And then and integrate examples into the argument with smoother referential connections.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers abstract values, materialism, celebrity, and employment with adequate range, though several collocations are unnatural.
Use more precise combinations such as gain popularity, professional ability, and a strong work ethic, and avoid vague words such as cultures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence forms, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, prepositions, pronouns, and although-but structures weaken control.
Revise concessive clauses to use either although or but, then check every subject-verb pair and required preposition.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.