Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
These days, many of us believe that tourism can be regarded as one of the most contributive aspects for economic growth of the country. However, some of us still find some drawbacks of tourism because it can dilute our indigenous traditions and make people do not care about their environment. I agree with the notion that tourism can harm the local culture and its environment. In this essay, I will support my opinion with some reasons.
To begin with, we should open our eyes to the fact that tourism has lead to the great transformation of economic growth in our country. Many people around the world try to visit our country in order to know our cultures and enjoy the beautiful views of our country. This fact shows a number of advantages to our economic growth such as the growth of industrial aspects. However, this development can harm our indigenous cultures and environment. Nowadays, the growth of tourism transformed our life to the different style of life. Compare to the past time, these days, a majority of the people have been influenced by the western culture. In the past time, the youth and elderly respected each other and still preserved the value of culture, and morality. Today, westernisation of culture happened and tried to interfere our lifestyle. The high values of culture and morality almost erased from the dictionary of society. People tend to forget their indigenous cultures and traditions, moreover, their offspring following the same. They no longer care about the upkeep of their cultures inheritance and trapped in the western cultures which identical with the nightclub, drinks, and party. Take Bangladesh as an example, in the past time, Bangladesh was very well-known with its traditional cultures. Presently, this country is changing and no longer known for their cultures. To sum up, I think that although tourism can drive to a better economic growth but still, we should not lose our sight that tourism also can harm our local cultures and environment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: most contributive aspects Suggested revision: greatest contributors Why it matters: The original phrase is not a natural way to describe factors that promote economic growth.
- 2. Correct preposition and possessive Original: for economic growth of the country Suggested revision: to the country's economic growth Why it matters: A contributor is described with 'to', and the possessive form makes the relationship concise.
- 3. Correct verb pattern Original: make people do not care Suggested revision: make people stop caring Why it matters: After 'make people', use a bare infinitive rather than 'do not' plus a verb.
- 4. Use past participle Original: lead Suggested revision: led Why it matters: The present perfect requires the past participle 'led'.
- 5. Use natural expression Original: know our cultures Suggested revision: learn about our culture Why it matters: Visitors learn about a culture rather than 'know' it in this context.
- 6. Choose precise noun Original: views Suggested revision: scenery Why it matters: 'Scenery' is the more natural collective term for attractive natural views.
- 7. Clarify economic benefit Original: shows a number of advantages to our economic growth Suggested revision: brings several benefits to our economy Why it matters: The revision uses a natural verb-noun combination and states the economic effect clearly.
- 8. Replace vague phrase Original: growth of industrial aspects Suggested revision: growth of tourism-related industries Why it matters: 'Industrial aspects' is vague and does not name the sector that grows.
- 9. Correct transformation phrase Original: transformed our life to the different style of life Suggested revision: transformed our way of life Why it matters: The verb 'transform' takes the object directly here, and 'way of life' is the idiomatic phrase.
- 10. Use participle form Original: Compare to the past time Suggested revision: Compared with the past Why it matters: The introductory comparison requires the past participle 'Compared'.
- 11. Use concise determiner Original: a majority of the people Suggested revision: the majority of people Why it matters: This form is more natural when referring generally to most people.
- 12. Remove article and capitalize Original: the western culture Suggested revision: Western culture Why it matters: The general cultural label does not need 'the', and 'Western' is capitalized.
Suggested Rewrites
- most contributive aspects greatest contributors
- for economic growth of the country to the country's economic growth
- make people do not care make people stop caring
- lead led
- know our cultures learn about our culture
- views scenery
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear position and offers a sustained explanation of how tourism may weaken local culture, supported by a relevant national example. Its main limitation is that environmental damage, an explicit part of the question, is asserted without explanation, while frequent language errors weaken precision. The highest priority is to develop a separate, specific argument about environmental harm and support it with a clear causal example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and cultural harm is developed, but environmental harm receives virtually no explanation.
Add a fully developed environmental argument showing how tourism causes a specific form of damage.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognizable introduction, body, and conclusion, but the single long body paragraph is repetitive and only loosely organized.
Separate the cultural and environmental arguments into focused paragraphs with clearer internal progression.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses some relevant topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Prioritize natural collocations such as economic growth, cultural heritage, and environmental protection, and check word forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in verb forms, articles, agreement, and clause construction sometimes strain readability.
Edit each sentence for complete clause structure and accurate verb forms before adding further complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.