The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
Sample Response
The diagrams outline why students from different age groups study and the support they get from their employers. Overall, having a good career is the main reason for young to study while it is personal interest for grown-ups. Moreover, young employees get more support from their employers regarding their education.
According to the first bar graph, people who are under 40 years old mostly study for the career while people over 49 years mainly study for their interest. Interestingly for the age group 40 to 49, the number of people who study for career and the number of people who study for interest is the same. 80% students under 26 years continue their education to build a career. 7 out of ten students over 49 years old do so for their interest, rather than the career.
Graph 2 shows that more than 60% students under 26 years old get support from their employers for their education and this supports includes the time off and monetary supports they get. This percentage reduces with the increase of age and at 30-39 age group, 32% get the support from the employers. After that, the employers’ support for their employees’ education increases and reaches to 45% for the over 49 year’s age group.
(Approximately 263 words) (This model answer can be followed as an example of a very good answer. However, please note that this is just one example out of many possible approaches.)
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add missing noun Original: for young to study Suggested revision: for young people to study Why it matters: The adjective young needs a noun when referring to a group of students.
- 2. Clarify the subject Original: it is personal interest Suggested revision: personal interest is the main reason Why it matters: The explicit subject makes the comparison with career motivation grammatical and clear.
- 3. Use academic wording Original: grown-ups Suggested revision: older students Why it matters: Older students is a more precise and appropriately formal label for the age groups shown.
- 4. Correct career phrase Original: study for the career Suggested revision: study for their careers Why it matters: The plural possessive phrase correctly expresses the students' individual career goals.
- 5. Use natural collocation Original: mainly study for their interest Suggested revision: mainly study out of personal interest Why it matters: Out of personal interest is the natural expression for this motivation.
- 6. Add percentage preposition Original: 80% students Suggested revision: 80% of students Why it matters: A percentage followed by a noun group requires of.
- 7. Spell out sentence start Original: 7 Suggested revision: Seven Why it matters: A number beginning a sentence should be written in words in formal prose.
- 8. Clarify study motive Original: do so for their interest Suggested revision: study out of personal interest Why it matters: The revised phrase states the activity and motivation naturally.
- 9. Use parallel wording Original: rather than the career Suggested revision: rather than for career reasons Why it matters: The replacement creates a clear parallel comparison between the two motives.
- 10. Add percentage preposition Original: more than 60% students Suggested revision: more than 60% of students Why it matters: The percentage expression requires of before the noun group.
- 11. Fix number agreement Original: supports Suggested revision: support Why it matters: Support is uncountable here and takes the singular verb includes.
- 12. Use uncountable noun Original: monetary supports Suggested revision: financial support Why it matters: Financial support is the natural uncountable expression for help with fees.
Suggested Rewrites
- for young to study for young people to study
- it is personal interest personal interest is the main reason
- grown-ups older students
- study for the career study for their careers
- mainly study for their interest mainly study out of personal interest
- 80% students 80% of students
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report clearly identifies the opposing age-related study motives and supports them with accurate figures, while also describing the decline and later recovery in employer support. The main limitation is recurring awkwardness in articles, agreement, plurals, and collocation, and the overview does not explicitly capture the U-shaped support pattern. Prioritise a sharper two-part overview and a careful language edit, while removing the source-site commentary after the report.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately selects the main motivation trends and representative values from both charts, though the employer-support overview is incomplete.
State explicitly that support falls from about 65% to its lowest point among 30–39-year-olds before recovering to 45%.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, motivation details, and support details form a clear progression, with comparisons generally easy to follow.
Remove the irrelevant parenthetical publishing note and make the overview a complete summary of both charts.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for trends and comparisons, but several awkward collocations and repeated forms reduce precision.
Use natural combinations such as study for career advancement, employer support falls, financial assistance, and people aged over 49.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The report uses both simple and complex sentences effectively, although article, plural, possessive, and agreement errors recur.
Proofread noun phrases and agreement, especially forms such as 80% of students, this support includes, and the over-49 age group.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.