The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
Sample Response
The bar chart delineates the ratio of pupils who continue their education for the benefit of their career and from passion based on their age groups. The line graph reveals the ratio of support those students get from their companies as a form of financial support and time off. Overall, young students’ main focus for education is their job while it is mostly passion when they grow older.
To illustrate, eight of ten people under 26 years old continue education for their career. Only 10% of them do it from passion. Interestingly, the higher the age, the more eager they become to study for personal interest, not for professional reasons. Seven out of ten people who are at least 50 years old study for interest. Finally, these two factors equally motivate people from 40-49 years old to further their learning.
The second diagram shows that young employees who are less than 30 years old get more backing from their employers while the least support is expected for workers between 30 to 39 years old. However, it is interesting to notice that employers are more sympathetic to workers over 40 years old than they are to employees in their thirties.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use percentage terminology Original: ratio of pupils Suggested revision: percentage of students Why it matters: The chart reports percentages of students rather than a ratio of pupils.
- 2. Name the two reasons Original: for the benefit of their career and from passion Suggested revision: for career advancement or out of personal interest Why it matters: This wording states the chart's two categories precisely and naturally.
- 3. Identify chart correctly Original: line graph Suggested revision: second bar chart Why it matters: The employer-support visual is a bar chart, not a line graph.
- 4. Clarify measured percentage Original: the ratio of support those students get Suggested revision: the percentage of students receiving support Why it matters: The chart measures how many students receive employer support, not a ratio of support.
- 5. Match chart terminology Original: companies Suggested revision: employers Why it matters: Employers is the precise term used for the source of support in the chart.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: main focus for education Suggested revision: main reason for studying Why it matters: The chart compares reasons for study, so this phrase expresses the measure accurately.
- 7. Specify career motive Original: their job Suggested revision: career advancement Why it matters: The category concerns studying for career reasons rather than a particular job.
- 8. Use chart category Original: mostly passion Suggested revision: mainly personal interest Why it matters: Personal interest accurately names the category and avoids the imprecise word passion.
- 9. Correct proportion phrase Original: eight of ten Suggested revision: eight out of ten Why it matters: English proportions use the construction eight out of ten.
- 10. Add possessive determiner Original: continue education Suggested revision: continue their education Why it matters: Education needs a possessive determiner in this construction.
- 11. State motive precisely Original: do it from passion Suggested revision: study for personal interest Why it matters: This replacement names both the action and the chart category clearly.
- 12. Use comparative subject Original: the higher the age Suggested revision: the older the students Why it matters: The correlative comparative needs a natural subject referring to the students.
Suggested Rewrites
- ratio of pupils percentage of students
- for the benefit of their career and from passion for career advancement or out of personal interest
- line graph second bar chart
- the ratio of support those students get the percentage of students receiving support
- companies employers
- main focus for education main reason for studying
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is clearly organised and accurately captures the strong age-related reversal in reasons for study. Its main limitation is incomplete coverage of employer support: the trend is described broadly, but no figures are supplied and the overall summary ignores this chart. Prioritise a fuller overview of both visuals and support the second chart's key pattern with selected percentages, while refining several imprecise word choices.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate comparisons cover the study-reasons chart well, but employer support receives only a general trend description without supporting figures.
Include the fall and partial recovery in employer support in the overview and substantiate it with selected percentages such as about 65%, 35%, and 45%.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from an overview to the two visuals, with clear paragraphing and generally natural connections.
Make the second body paragraph more fully developed so the two charts receive balanced and equally coherent coverage.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally clear, although choices such as pupils, ratio, from passion, and sympathetic are imprecise for the data.
Use conventional chart language such as students, percentage, personal interest, and employer support to improve precision and formality.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with mostly accurate control, and the few errors do not impede meaning.
Refine age-range and comparison constructions, for example people aged 40 to 49 and workers aged 30 to 39.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.