The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
Sample Response
The pie chart shows that there are four main causes of farmland becoming degraded in the world today. Globally, 65% of degradation is caused by too much animal grazing and tree clearance, constituting 35% and 30% respectively. A further 28% of global degradation is due to over-cultivation of crops. Other causes account for only 7% collectively.
These causes affected different regions differently in the 1990s, with Europe having as much as 9.8% of degradation due to deforestation, while the impact of this on Oceania and North America was minimal, with only 1.7% and 0.2% of land affected respectively. Europe, with the highest overall percentage of land degraded (23%), also suffered from over-cultivation (7.7%) and over-grazing (5.5%). In contrast, Oceania had 13% of degraded farmland and this was mainly due to over-grazing (11.3%). North America had a lower proportion of degraded land at only 5%, and the main causes of this were over-cultivation (3.3%) and, to a lesser extent, over-grazing (1.5%).
Overall, it is clear that Europe suffered more from farmland degradation than the other regions and the main causes there were deforestation and over-cultivation.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise noun phrase Original: farmland becoming degraded Suggested revision: farmland degradation Why it matters: The noun phrase is more concise and natural in a chart description.
- 2. Avoid unsupported timeframe Original: in the world today Suggested revision: worldwide Why it matters: The visual presents worldwide causes without specifying that the data describe the present day.
- 3. Use chart term Original: too much animal grazing Suggested revision: over-grazing Why it matters: This is the precise category label used in the visual.
- 4. Use chart term Original: tree clearance Suggested revision: deforestation Why it matters: This matches the category terminology in both visuals.
- 5. Avoid redundancy Original: over-cultivation of crops Suggested revision: over-cultivation Why it matters: The chart category is already specific enough without adding “of crops.”
- 6. Clarify reference Original: the main causes of this Suggested revision: its main causes Why it matters: The possessive reference connects the causes directly to North America’s degraded land.
- 7. Clarify percentage base Original: Oceania had 13% of degraded farmland Suggested revision: 13% of Oceania’s farmland was degraded Why it matters: The table gives the proportion of each region’s land that was degraded.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: These causes affected different regions differently in the 1990s, with Europe having as much as 9.8% of degradation due to deforestation, while the impact of this on Oceania and North America was minimal, with only 1.7% and 0.2% of land affected respectively. Suggested revision: In the 1990s, deforestation degraded 9.8% of Europe’s land, compared with 1.7% in Oceania and just 0.2% in North America. Why it matters: The original phrase “9.8% of degradation” misstates the table’s unit and the long structure obscures the comparison.
- 9. Complete the overview Suggested revision: Add that over-grazing was the largest cause worldwide, then contrast this with Europe’s leading regional causes. Why it matters: The overview identifies the most affected region but omits the pie chart’s main global feature.
Suggested Rewrites
- farmland becoming degraded farmland degradation
- in the world today worldwide
- too much animal grazing over-grazing
- tree clearance deforestation
- over-cultivation of crops over-cultivation
- the main causes of this its main causes
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response gives a highly accurate, well-selected account of both visuals, supported by clear comparisons and an effective overview of Europe's greater degradation. Its organisation and language are controlled throughout, with only minor scope for greater concision in repeated wording about degradation. Maintain this accuracy while varying a few repeated terms and making the relationship between global causes and regional patterns even more explicit.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Both visuals are fully addressed through an accurate overview, well-selected figures, and clear comparisons of the principal global causes and regional differences.
Preserve this comprehensive selection while making the contrast between the leading global cause and each region's leading cause even more explicit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced and paragraphing cleanly separates the global breakdown, regional detail, and overall comparison.
Reduce the small amount of lexical repetition across paragraph openings to make the progression still more seamless.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys proportions, causes, and contrasts fluently, with only slight repetition of degradation and degraded.
Vary repeated terms selectively with expressions such as loss of productivity or affected land without sacrificing precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and nearly all sentences are error-free and easy to follow.
Refine occasional slightly compressed phrasing, such as percentages of degradation, to maximise naturalness and precision.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.