The charts below show the Medical research funding amount in millions of Dollars in Someland and also shows the death number for this area.
Sample Response
The diagrams present data on the medical research funding for six deadly diseases in Someland as well as the deaths caused by those diseases in 1990. A glance at the charts reveals that there was a correlation between the amount spent on researching a disease and the casualties it caused- the higher funding generally produced a better result, at least for AIDS and TB. According to the illustration, the highest medical research budget was allowed for AIDS, around 175 million and in 1990 the death count in Someland from AIDS was 0.25 million, more than death from Leprosy but fewer than fatalities caused by any other diseases. Again, the lowest research budget was for TB (roughly 25 million) and around 1.75 million people died from this illness, the highest casualties from any disease in Someland in 1990. Medical research reserves for Leprosy and Tropical Diseases were exactly the same, approximately 70 million but deaths from the later disease were noticeably higher. A similar trend could be observed in the cases of Diarrhoea and Malaria, which received around 60 and 50 million respectively for medical research and were responsible for 0.5 and 0.35 million deaths in Someland.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: medical research budget was allowed for AIDS Suggested revision: medical research funding was allocated to AIDS Why it matters: Funding is allocated to research, whereas a budget is not naturally described as being allowed for a disease.
- 2. State the currency Original: around 175 million Suggested revision: around $175 million Why it matters: Adding the dollar sign makes the chart's funding unit explicit.
- 3. Use plural deaths Original: more than death from Leprosy Suggested revision: more than deaths from leprosy Why it matters: The comparison concerns a number of deaths, so the plural count noun is required.
- 4. Use singular disease Original: diseases Suggested revision: disease Why it matters: After any other, the comparison requires the singular noun here.
- 5. Use chart terminology Original: highest casualties Suggested revision: highest death toll Why it matters: Death toll describes the charted measure more precisely than casualties.
- 6. Use funding term Original: reserves Suggested revision: funding Why it matters: Reserves does not accurately name the research expenditure shown in the chart.
- 7. Correct latter Original: later Suggested revision: latter Why it matters: Latter is the correct word for the second of the two diseases just mentioned.
- 8. Name the visuals precisely Original: diagrams Suggested revision: charts Why it matters: Charts is the precise term for the two bar charts shown.
- 9. Use neutral wording Original: six deadly diseases Suggested revision: six diseases Why it matters: The neutral term diseases is sufficient in an objective chart description.
- 10. Refer to both charts Original: illustration Suggested revision: charts Why it matters: The comparison draws on both visuals, so the plural reference is more precise.
- 11. Correct the AIDS figure Original: 0.25 million Suggested revision: about 0.2 million Why it matters: The death chart shows the AIDS figure at approximately 0.2 million.
- 12. Signal the contrast Original: Again Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: The sentence moves from the highest-funded disease to the lowest-funded one, so a contrast marker clarifies the progression.
Suggested Rewrites
- medical research budget was allowed for AIDS medical research funding was allocated to AIDS
- around 175 million around $175 million
- more than death from Leprosy more than deaths from leprosy
- diseases disease
- highest casualties highest death toll
- reserves funding
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response provides a clear overview and selects nearly all key figures and comparisons, with especially effective coverage of the funding and death extremes. Its main limitation is a small data inaccuracy for AIDS deaths, alongside some awkward wording and the lack of paragraph divisions. The highest priority is to group the overview and detailed comparisons into distinct paragraphs while checking every numerical value precisely against the charts.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and well-selected comparisons cover all six diseases, although the AIDS death figure is slightly overstated.
Verify each numerical value against the axes and retain precise units while preserving the effective cross-chart comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion
The description progresses logically from the overall relationship to major extremes and paired comparisons, but it is presented as one undivided paragraph.
Separate the overview and detailed comparisons into purposeful paragraphs to make the progression easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, though collocations such as "budget was allowed" and "research reserves" are awkward.
Use standard chart-reporting combinations such as "funding was allocated" and "research expenditure" for greater precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is handled clearly, with occasional errors in punctuation, comparison wording, and singular-plural agreement.
Proofread long comparative sentences for clause boundaries and forms such as "more deaths than" and "any other disease".
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the Medical research funding amount in millions of Dollars in Someland and also shows the death number for this area.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.