The diagram below shows the development of the cutting tool in the Stone Age.
Sample Response
The diagram illustrates the development of the cutting tool from two different time periods within the Stone Age.
Although the overall size and shape of the two cutting tools are very similar, the cutting tool from the latter time period shows some distinct improvements.
Tool A is a depiction of a Stone Age cutting tool used approximately 1.4 million years ago, while tool B is from a later part of the Stone Age approximately 0.8 million years ago. Both cutting tools are similar in shape and size, being roughly 10cm in length. However, tool A looks to be quite a crude implement, while tool B appears to have been refined into a more effective cutting device.
From the front and rear view, tool B appears to be much wider than tool A and has a rounder body shape. The cutting edges also appear to be more distinct and symmetrical. The side view shows a distinct difference in the thickness of the two tools, with tool B significantly slimmer than tool A.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise phrasing Original: from two different time periods Suggested revision: across two time periods Why it matters: This expresses the comparison more directly and concisely.
- 2. Use direct verb Original: is a depiction of Suggested revision: depicts Why it matters: The direct verb is more concise while preserving the original meaning.
- 3. Separate date phrase Original: Stone Age approximately 0.8 million years ago Suggested revision: Stone Age, approximately 0.8 million years ago Why it matters: A comma clearly separates the supplementary date phrase.
- 4. Avoid unsupported function Original: a more effective cutting device Suggested revision: a more refined cutting tool Why it matters: The diagram supports visible refinement but does not demonstrate comparative effectiveness.
- 5. Use plural noun Original: view Suggested revision: views Why it matters: Two separate viewpoints require the plural form.
- 6. Sentence rewrite Original: Although the overall size and shape of the two cutting tools are very similar, the cutting tool from the latter time period shows some distinct improvements. Suggested revision: Although the two tools are similar in height, the later tool is broader, thinner, and more symmetrical. Why it matters: The tools share a similar height, but the visual shows substantial differences in shape.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: The side view shows a distinct difference in the thickness of the two tools, with tool B significantly slimmer than tool A. Suggested revision: The side views show that Tool B is significantly thinner than Tool A. Why it matters: The rewrite uses the plural viewpoint accurately and states the comparison more directly.
- 8. Sharpen time comparison Suggested revision: State explicitly that Tool B dates from about 600,000 years after Tool A. Why it matters: This directly compares the two dates already shown in the visual and reported in the paragraph.
Suggested Rewrites
- from two different time periods across two time periods
- is a depiction of depicts
- Stone Age approximately 0.8 million years ago Stone Age, approximately 0.8 million years ago
- a more effective cutting device a more refined cutting tool
- view views
- Although the overall size and shape of the two cutting tools are very similar, the cutting tool from the latter time period shows some distinct improvements. Although the two tools are similar in height, the later tool is broader, thinner, and more symmetrical.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, well-organised comparison of the two tools and accurately highlights the later tool's wider body, greater symmetry, and slimmer profile. Its main limitation is that a few descriptions are somewhat interpretive, such as calling Tool B more effective, rather than strictly reporting visible features. The priority is to support every evaluative claim with a precise visual comparison while retaining the concise overview and controlled language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report presents a clear overview and accurately compares the tools' age, height, width, symmetry, edges, and thickness.
Keep conclusions strictly visual by replacing the claim that Tool B is more effective with a directly observable feature.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced from introduction and overview to general comparison and then view-specific details.
Integrate the short opening paragraphs more smoothly so the introduction and overview feel less segmented.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and precise, with effective choices such as crude implement, refined, symmetrical, and slimmer.
Prefer fully objective descriptive terms where words such as improvements and effective introduce interpretation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately and naturally, with only very minor lapses.
Maintain number agreement in phrases such as front and rear views to make an already strong performance more exact.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the development of the cutting tool in the Stone Age.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.