The diagram below shows the development of the cutting tool in the Stone Age.
Sample Response
The pictures describe the cutting tools created by our ancestors at two different ages.
Tool A was made approximately 1.4 million years ago. It was like an animal tooth about 8 cm long with a rough surface. It may be easy to hold but it was barely sharp enough. As is shown, the front part of the cutting tool was rather broad, and its top area was a little smaller than the bottom. Seen from the side, it was just as narrow as a stick. Moreover, the back part was much flatter than the front part.
Tool B was widely used 0.8 million years ago. Both of the two tools were made of stone. However, Tool B had been better developed than the previous one. It was about 12 cm long. Its front part had been smoother with many little points, which made it similar to the surface of a diamond. Observed from the side, it had got a very acute top, which was very useful for slicing meats. In addition, the back part was even much flatter than that of the older tool.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify time points Original: at two different ages Suggested revision: at two different points in the Stone Age Why it matters: The visual compares tools from two dates rather than two distinct ages.
- 2. Describe shape precisely Original: top area was a little smaller than the bottom Suggested revision: upper section was narrower than its base Why it matters: This wording gives a clearer visual comparison of the tool’s outline.
- 3. Avoid vague simile Original: just as narrow as a stick Suggested revision: very narrow Why it matters: A direct description is more precise than the subjective comparison with a stick.
- 4. Avoid unsupported claim Original: was widely used Suggested revision: dates from Why it matters: The diagram gives the tool’s date but does not show how widely it was used.
- 5. Remove redundancy Original: Both of the two tools Suggested revision: Both tools Why it matters: “Both” already expresses that two items are being discussed.
- 6. Use precise comparison Original: had been better developed Suggested revision: was more refined Why it matters: “More refined” describes the later tool’s smoother, more regular form more precisely.
- 7. Correct the measurement Original: 12 Suggested revision: 10 Why it matters: The scale indicates a length of roughly 10 cm rather than 12 cm.
- 8. Use simple past Original: had been smoother Suggested revision: was smoother Why it matters: The simple past is appropriate for a direct comparison of the two dated tools.
- 9. Describe the edge Original: many little points Suggested revision: a more regular, sharpened edge Why it matters: This phrase describes the visible shaping more accurately and formally.
- 10. Describe visible form Original: which made it similar to the surface of a diamond Suggested revision: giving it a more regular, symmetrical appearance Why it matters: The revised wording replaces a subjective simile with an observable comparison.
- 11. Use natural wording Original: had got a very acute top Suggested revision: had a much sharper point Why it matters: “A much sharper point” is the natural phrase and supports a direct comparison with Tool A.
- 12. Avoid invented function Original: which was very useful for slicing meats Suggested revision: making it more suitable for cutting Why it matters: The image supports a sharper cutting edge but does not specify meat slicing.
Suggested Rewrites
- at two different ages at two different points in the Stone Age
- top area was a little smaller than the bottom upper section was narrower than its base
- just as narrow as a stick very narrow
- was widely used dates from
- Both of the two tools Both tools
- had been better developed was more refined
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is clearly organized around the two tools and makes several useful comparisons, especially regarding Tool B's more refined and sharper form. However, it lacks a distinct overview and introduces unsupported measurements, functions, and impressions that cannot be confirmed by the diagram. The priority is to summarize the main visual development first, then compare only observable features across the front, side, and back views.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the dates and some visible differences, but it has no clear overview and includes invented lengths, uses, and subjective claims.
State that Tool B is more symmetrical, refined, and sharply edged, then support this only with features visible in the three views.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction followed by separate paragraphs for Tools A and B creates clear progression, with comparisons linking the descriptions effectively.
Add a brief overview after the introduction so the main development is established before the detailed tool-by-tool account.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for shapes and comparisons, though several choices such as "acute top," "slicing meats," and "two different ages" are unnatural or imprecise.
Prefer precise visual language such as pointed tip, straighter edges, symmetrical outline, thinner profile, and more refined surface.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures is used with generally clear meaning, but tense choices, participial clauses, articles, and comparatives are not consistently controlled.
Use simple past forms consistently for the historical tools and check comparative structures before adding more complex clauses.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the development of the cutting tool in the Stone Age.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.