You eat in your college cafeteria everyday lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter: - explain what you like about the cafeteria - say what is wrong with it - suggest how it could be improved
Sample Response
Dear Ms Margaret, I have decided to write this letter to inform you of a few personal ideas that I have about our college cafeteria. As a regular customer, I would like to take the opportunity to express my gratitude to the people behind this cafe and I also believe some improvements would make it even more attractive. I am hoping that you would publish my ideas in your college magazine. I personally feel that our college cafeteria has a great environment and offers delicious and healthy food. I appreciate the hard work of all the chefs and management for their attempt to serve meals to the students who are sometimes fussy and hard to please. The management is in fact, doing an excellent job. However, many students and I feel that the food served in the cafeteria is expensive. Our canteen charges $15-$20 for lunch and this is considerably higher. A few other college canteens in our city charges less than that. It appears that students will soon make an inevitable choice to eat outside the campus due to the high price. As an individual who would love to continue eating fantastic food at our central eatery, I would like to suggest you publish an article about this issue. I hope this will help the canteen management become aware of how we think about their food price. If you have any further questions about this, please let me know. Yours faithfully, Kay Lim
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Address the editor Original: Dear Ms Margaret Suggested revision: Dear Editor Why it matters: Addressing the magazine editor directly suits the stated recipient and avoids using an uncertain personal name.
- 2. Use precise wording Original: people behind this cafe Suggested revision: people who run the cafeteria Why it matters: This wording identifies the staff more clearly and keeps the term consistent with the rest of the letter.
- 3. Use direct tense Original: I am hoping that you would publish Suggested revision: I hope you will publish Why it matters: The simple present and future forms make this current request more direct and natural.
- 4. Complete the noun phrase Original: all the chefs and management Suggested revision: all the chefs and the management team Why it matters: The coordinated phrase needs a countable noun to refer clearly to the people in management.
- 5. Improve the collocation Original: attempt Suggested revision: efforts Why it matters: The plural noun “efforts” fits praise for the continuing work of several people.
- 6. Set off the phrase Original: The management is in fact, Suggested revision: The management is, in fact, Why it matters: The parenthetical phrase “in fact” requires a comma on both sides here.
- 7. Fix subject agreement Original: charges Suggested revision: charge Why it matters: The plural subject “canteens” requires the plural verb “charge.”
- 8. Use natural phrasing Original: make an inevitable choice to eat outside the campus Suggested revision: feel compelled to eat off campus Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the likely consequence of high prices more naturally and precisely.
- 9. Use the plural noun Original: price Suggested revision: prices Why it matters: The concern is about the cafeteria's prices generally, so the plural form is appropriate.
- 10. Propose a concrete change Suggested revision: Add a specific recommendation for reducing the high lunch cost rather than relying only on publication of the concern. Why it matters: The third bullet asks how the cafeteria itself could be improved, and the current proposal focuses mainly on the magazine article.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Ms Margaret Dear Editor
- people behind this cafe people who run the cafeteria
- I am hoping that you would publish I hope you will publish
- all the chefs and management all the chefs and the management team
- attempt efforts
- The management is in fact, The management is, in fact,
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter has a clear formal purpose and gives specific, relevant praise and a well-supported complaint about prices. Its main weakness is that the requested improvement is only implied: asking the magazine to publish an article does not clearly tell the cafeteria what change to make, while the lack of paragraphing reduces readability. State a direct recommendation such as lowering prices or introducing student meal options, and organise each bullet point in its own paragraph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose and first two bullet points are clear and developed, but the proposed cafeteria improvement remains indirect and underdeveloped.
Recommend a concrete change to the cafeteria itself, such as lower prices, student discounts, or cheaper meal options.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a logical sequence from praise to complaint and action, but presenting the entire letter as one paragraph weakens organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for the purpose, positive features, price problem, proposed solution, and closing request.
Lexical Resource
The letter uses a reasonably varied formal vocabulary, though several phrases such as inevitable choice and food price are awkward or imprecise.
Prefer direct natural expressions such as choose to eat elsewhere, prices are too high, and affordable meal options.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is generally controlled, but agreement and construction errors recur in phrases such as canteens charges and suggest you publish.
Check subject-verb agreement and use complete formal patterns such as I suggest that you publish or I would like you to publish.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You eat in your college cafeteria everyday lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter:
- explain what you like about the cafeteria
- say what is wrong with it
- suggest how it could be improved
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.