Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Sample Response
Promotion of new products is appealing to customers. People watch them in electronic media and in newspapers and feel that it will be useful for their needs. On the other hand, we often waste our money and time after observing fascinating advertisement. In my opinion, it is useful for market trends. The advertisement has multidimensional impacts on economics and society, its benefits overweight disadvantages.
Most of the people do not like the monotonous life. They keep on changing their surroundings and personality. The requirement of humans changes with their ages. The advertisement is the method to introduce new products to people. Every person is busy in his day to day routine and they do not have enough time to wonder in shops and malls. Moreover through different media, one can see his favourite models in a good mood for describing the advantages of products.
Few media heads do not keep an eye over the validity of the information given in the description of promotion. Young people like their heroes like mentors and follow their footprints. In third world countries, health hazard products like cigarette are being advertised. As a result, man will buy the things which he does not need currently. These new purchase will be made at the cost of many other useful objects which he may be requiring actually.
In conclusion, advertisements are very useful for boosting the economy and it helps people to seek accurate products. A government should maintain the standard of promoting the products and injurious things must be banned on media.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural promotion naturally Original: Promotion of new products is appealing Suggested revision: Promotions for new products are appealing Why it matters: The plural subject describes advertisements generally and requires 'are'.
- 2. Use a natural viewing phrase Original: after observing fascinating advertisement Suggested revision: on seeing a fascinating advertisement Why it matters: The countable noun requires an article, and people see rather than observe advertisements here.
- 3. Clarify the subject and effect Original: it is useful for market trends Suggested revision: advertising supports market activity Why it matters: The replacement identifies advertising as the subject and states its claimed economic effect clearly.
- 4. Remove the unnecessary article Original: Most of the people Suggested revision: Most people Why it matters: A general plural noun follows 'most' without 'of the'.
- 5. Use an indefinite article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The phrase describes one type of life generally rather than a specific known life.
- 6. Use a natural plural noun Original: The requirement of humans Suggested revision: People's needs Why it matters: The concise possessive phrase accurately refers to what people require.
- 7. Match the plural subject Original: changes with their ages Suggested revision: change as they age Why it matters: The plural noun 'needs' takes 'change', and the time clause is more natural.
- 8. Generalise the noun phrase Original: The advertisement is the method Suggested revision: Advertising is a method Why it matters: The general activity is uncountable 'advertising', and one method takes 'a'.
- 9. Add the connector comma Original: Moreover through different media Suggested revision: Moreover, through different media Why it matters: A comma follows the sentence connector 'Moreover'.
- 10. Use a direct participle Original: models in a good mood for describing Suggested revision: models enthusiastically describing Why it matters: The replacement expresses the models' positive presentation naturally.
- 11. Remove the double negative Original: Few media heads do not Suggested revision: Some media organisations do not Why it matters: 'Few...do not' creates an unintended double negative, and 'organisations' is the clearer actor.
- 12. Use a formal monitoring verb Original: keep an eye over Suggested revision: monitor Why it matters: 'Monitor' concisely expresses checking the accuracy of content.
Suggested Rewrites
- Promotion of new products is appealing Promotions for new products are appealing
- after observing fascinating advertisement on seeing a fascinating advertisement
- it is useful for market trends advertising supports market activity
- Most of the people Most people
- the a
- The requirement of humans People's needs
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a discernible preference for the benefits of advertising and also recognises misleading promotions and harmful products as important risks. Its main limitation is that the positive case remains vague while many supporting statements are awkward or only loosely connected to the question; the priority is to develop one concrete example of a useful advertisement and explain why regulation makes the benefits outweigh unnecessary consumption.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A relevant position and both perspectives are present, but the claimed benefits are insufficiently developed and several supporting ideas remain general.
Give a specific example of an advertisement that helps consumers discover a beneficial product and compare that value directly with the risk of unnecessary purchases.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a basic introduction-benefit-risk-conclusion structure, though some ideas within paragraphs connect only loosely to the central comparison.
Start each body paragraph with a direct claim about one viewpoint and ensure every following sentence explains or exemplifies that claim.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied vocabulary about advertising and consumption, but frequent inappropriate choices and collocations reduce clarity and precision.
Use accurate phrases such as advertisements, consumer needs, economic impact, benefits outweigh drawbacks, misleading claims, harmful products, and informed choices.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in articles, agreement, pronouns, plurals, punctuation, and sentence boundaries reduce control, although the main meaning remains accessible.
Use consistent plural nouns and pronouns, then separate comma-spliced clauses into complete sentences before adding modifiers.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.