Many people believe students would benefit from spending some time away from studying between secondary school (high school) and university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Sample Response
People have divided opinions about taking a break before starting university. Some consider that discontinuing studies for some duration is advantageous for students and they favour this approach. However, I do not agree with this outlook and prefer completing the entire process of education without any longer interruption. In this essay, we will analyse how the personal and professional lives of students are afflicted, if they decide to halt their studies for a year or so.
To begin with, many pupils opt for taking a gap between school and university qualifications. By doing so, many students can lose interest in joining back and enjoy continuing the activity undertaken by them in break time. These students can still get employed but the chances of getting a better career are reduced. Thus, it is apparent that taking a break from studies can affect their upcoming professional life. For instance, I personally know a few students from my hometown, who, despite being bright students, took a gap year before starting university and was misguided that a university education is not required for a great career. They decided to continue with their jobs instead of starting university. As a result, none of them has a good career now. It might be true that some billionaires never finished their university education, but they are not examples, but expectations.
Moreover, some students might still be able to continue their studies after coming back from break, but a great deal of time has already been wasted. Consequently, they will lag behind others who are already ahead of them in university. Some may find it difficult to concentrate on their studies because of the long gap. Therefore, the harms of halting education in between for some intervals are difficult to debunk.
After analysing the areas of professional and personal development of students opting for leave in studies, it is clear that this particular concept can constrain their growth. As has been proven, students should not prefer taking a year gap between school and university educations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: divided Suggested revision: differing Why it matters: Differing opinions is the more natural collocation.
- 2. Use natural break wording Original: discontinuing studies for some duration Suggested revision: pausing their studies for a period Why it matters: The original phrase is awkward and does not clearly describe a temporary break.
- 3. Use concise wording Original: entire process of education Suggested revision: course of education Why it matters: Course of education expresses the continuous sequence more naturally.
- 4. Fix the modifier Original: longer Suggested revision: lengthy Why it matters: Longer requires an explicit comparison, whereas lengthy describes the interruption directly.
- 5. Use suitable wording Original: students are afflicted, if Suggested revision: students may be affected if Why it matters: Afflicted is too strong for the stated effects, and the comma before the conditional clause is unnecessary.
- 6. Use the infinitive pattern Original: opt for taking Suggested revision: opt to take Why it matters: Opt is followed by a to-infinitive in this structure.
- 7. Name the transition clearly Original: a gap between school and university qualifications Suggested revision: a break between school and university Why it matters: Qualifications are not the two stages between which the break occurs.
- 8. Use formal wording Original: get employed Suggested revision: find employment Why it matters: Find employment is more formal and natural.
- 9. Use career prospects Original: chances of getting a better career Suggested revision: prospects of building a successful career Why it matters: People build a career, while chances refers more naturally to prospects.
- 10. Use natural wording Original: upcoming professional life Suggested revision: future career Why it matters: Future career is the conventional term for later professional life.
- 11. Correct the contrast Original: they are not examples, but expectations Suggested revision: they are exceptions, not the rule Why it matters: Expectations is the wrong word for rare cases that do not represent the norm.
- 12. Add the article Original: coming back from break Suggested revision: returning from a break Why it matters: Break is a singular countable noun and requires an article.
Suggested Rewrites
- divided differing
- discontinuing studies for some duration pausing their studies for a period
- entire process of education course of education
- longer lengthy
- students are afflicted, if students may be affected if
- opt for taking opt to take
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response states a clear disagreement and develops a coherent case around loss of academic momentum and weaker career prospects, including a relevant personal example. Its main limitation is persistent awkward or inaccurate phrasing, alongside some overgeneralised conclusions; the priority is to express the same reasoning with natural collocations and tighter grammatical control while acknowledging that the claimed risks may not apply to every gap-year student.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and the main disadvantages are relevant and developed through explanation and an example.
Qualify the categorical claims and explain why the risks outweigh potential gap-year benefits for most students.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through career and academic consequences, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Reduce formulaic transitions and make the second body paragraph more fully developed rather than relying on several short assertions.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate range for the topic, but recurring unnatural choices such as “joining back,” “opt for leave,” and “university educations” weaken precision.
Use standard expressions such as “resume their studies,” “take time off,” and “university education,” and check words selected for rhetorical effect.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses varied sentence forms and remains clear, but agreement, punctuation, and clause-formation errors recur across the response.
Check pronoun references and subject–verb agreement in complex sentences, especially when the subject changes from a plural group to an individual.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people believe students would benefit from spending some time away from studying between secondary school (high school) and university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.