Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Sample Response
I agree with the viewpoint that “advertising anchorages us to buy things that we really do not need.” Another word for advertisement is ‘a tool of marketing strategy’. To introduce their product or services or to promote their product or services this advertisement will highly useful.
If we have never seen an advertisement of a product and first time see that product in the market, we never want to buy. That is, we do not like to just try. If we have already seen that product in the advertisement, we may want to buy it and see how it works. That is by seeing an advertisement over and over again, we indirectly become familiar with that product before we buy and use it. To make us familiar with the products, the product owners make sure we watch their advertisements again and again.
In the advertisement, they show only the advantages of the product. That is an advantage for the marketers, but a disadvantage for the customers. While the marketing people encourage us to buy the things, we need to identify its disadvantages only after experiencing the product or services.
Some products are really essential for our life while some are not at all essential. Sometimes we purchase products that are optional for us. We may experience a new detergent powder since it was telecasted several times. This is the insisting part of advertisements on customers’ mind.
Each customer is different. All are not same. Same product will not convince all the public. Some products target children, kinder joy, chocolates, toys, cartoon products and etc. Even though parents know that a product is not good for their children, but they are insisted in buying the product by the children. Children get attracted to a product after they see the advertisement on television. Finally, I would conclude, that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct word form Original: anchorages Suggested revision: encourages Why it matters: “Anchorages” is the wrong word; the task statement uses the verb “encourages.”
- 2. Fix preposition Original: of Suggested revision: for Why it matters: English uses “an advertisement for” when naming the promoted product.
- 3. Fix word order Original: first time see that product Suggested revision: see that product for the first time Why it matters: The time phrase belongs after the verb and object.
- 4. Add object and modality Original: we never want to buy Suggested revision: we may not want to buy it Why it matters: The verb needs an object, and “may not” correctly expresses a possible reaction.
- 5. Use indefinite article Original: the Suggested revision: an Why it matters: The advertisement has not been identified previously, so an indefinite article is required.
- 6. Remove faulty linker Original: That is by seeing Suggested revision: By seeing Why it matters: “That is” does not connect grammatically to the following participial phrase.
- 7. Use precise agent Original: the product owners Suggested revision: product manufacturers Why it matters: “Manufacturers” more precisely identifies the businesses promoting the products.
- 8. Clarify the subject Original: In the advertisement, they show Suggested revision: Advertisements show Why it matters: The revision removes the unclear pronoun “they” and uses a suitable plural subject.
- 9. Use precise reference Original: the things Suggested revision: these products Why it matters: “These products” refers clearly to the advertised items being discussed.
- 10. Match plural reference Original: its Suggested revision: their Why it matters: The possessive pronoun should agree with the plural reference to products.
- 11. Use parallel plurals Original: product Suggested revision: products Why it matters: Plural nouns create a parallel and general reference after “products or services.”
- 12. Use plural noun Original: essential for our life Suggested revision: essential in our lives Why it matters: The plural possessive reference “our” naturally takes “lives” in this general statement.
Suggested Rewrites
- anchorages encourages
- of for
- first time see that product see that product for the first time
- we never want to buy we may not want to buy it
- the an
- That is by seeing By seeing
Why this response received Band 6.0
Your response maintains a clear viewpoint and uses several relevant examples, particularly the explanation of repeated exposure and the appeal of advertising to children. However, the argument becomes repetitive and many awkward word choices and sentence forms weaken precision. Focus first on developing two distinct reasons in greater depth, then edit for natural collocations, complete sentence structures, agreement, and article use.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The chosen viewpoint is clear throughout, and relevant reasons and examples are provided, though several points remain repetitive or only partly developed.
Build two distinct arguments about unnecessary purchasing and explain the consequence of each example more fully.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and overall progression are broadly clear, but repeated phrasing and abrupt short statements make the argument feel mechanical.
Use clearer topic sentences and combine closely related statements so each paragraph develops one coherent line of reasoning.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough vocabulary to discuss advertising, but frequent inaccurate choices and collocations reduce precision.
Replace expressions such as "anchorages us," "insisting part," and "convince all the public" with natural, context-appropriate wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex forms is attempted, but frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and pronoun reference are noticeable.
Proofread each sentence for a complete subject-verb structure and consistent number, article, and pronoun agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.