Some people think that changes in their lives are essential, while others, however, are uncomfortable with change, and prefer to continue living in the same place or working in the same job, etc.
Sample Response
A Life is a journey or a way of living together whether we want to live happily or not, it depends on the deeds, the person is doing. Some people think that changes are eternal which brings euphoric feelings and aspiration in life, on the other hand, others feel that sometimes change in life can bring a humiliation in life.
Although, some people, who are leading a luxurious life, have a desire for change in their life. They might be bored with their day-to-day chores and their activities such as going to the office, doing the same work because of which they lost the zeal in their interest. So, people feel that change in their roles, lifestyle, working in a new location can bring a stimulus in their blood so that they feel adept in working with the new environment, people and their roles. Working in the same place or job can make them sick in responding to the situation and finally they enter into the routine and banal life. Hence they want to have a new role of life.
Some other people feel that sometimes a change in life can a have a negative impact on future. Suppose, the family who is leading a prosperous life with their family members do not want to anticipate a change in their lifestyle. Because they think that, a change may weaken their relationships, health characteristics, status etc. In addition to this, it might be possible for a change to make the people who are leading a lucrative life to starvation, bankruptcy or even decrease their status. So people hesitate to welcome this inevitable change in their journey.
But, finally, getting a change in life or not, does not lie in our hands or not in the hands of prophecy. Sometimes, a change can make a footwear stitcher to become a president of America, like Abraham Lincoln, while, on the other hand, it can turn a person, who is having enough money in Swiss bank account to lifelong imprisonment. So everybody needs to agree that, a change is inevitable, and follow his/her path that comes in front of the way. Even though the path is covered with flowers, or it is cluttered. For example, how Mukesh Ambani started his business with petrol pump, sweet shop and dramatically became a billionaire and holding a world famous oil refinery. On the other hand, Gali Janardhan Reddy who was very rich and a member of parliament, but a small change in life made him go to jail because of his disproportionate assets being a responsible person.
So, even if a change comes in life or not, one should have integrity in performing the deeds to convert that change into fruitful one.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix agreement and meaning Original: changes are eternal which brings Suggested revision: change is inevitable and brings Why it matters: The singular subject agrees with 'brings', and 'inevitable' expresses the intended meaning.
- 2. Use plural noun Original: aspiration Suggested revision: aspirations Why it matters: The general reference to people's aims requires the plural form 'aspirations'.
- 3. Remove incorrect article Original: a humiliation Suggested revision: humiliation Why it matters: 'Humiliation' is uncountable when it refers generally to the feeling or experience.
- 4. Remove dangling linker Original: Although, some people Suggested revision: Some people Why it matters: 'Although' incorrectly introduces a clause with no contrasting main clause.
- 5. Use concise tense Original: who are leading a luxurious life Suggested revision: who lead a luxurious life Why it matters: The simple present is more natural for this general description.
- 6. Maintain present tense Original: because of which they lost Suggested revision: causing them to lose Why it matters: The revision preserves the present-time argument and links the consequence clearly.
- 7. Use natural expression Original: the zeal in their interest Suggested revision: their enthusiasm Why it matters: 'Lose their enthusiasm' expresses the intended decline in interest naturally.
- 8. Make list parallel Original: change in their roles, lifestyle, working in a new location Suggested revision: changes in their roles or lifestyle, or working in a new location Why it matters: Parallel noun and gerund elements make the alternatives grammatically clear.
- 9. Replace unnatural metaphor Original: bring a stimulus in their blood Suggested revision: give them renewed energy Why it matters: The revised phrase conveys renewed motivation clearly and idiomatically.
- 10. Use correct collocation Original: feel adept in working with Suggested revision: feel able to adapt to Why it matters: People adapt to a new setting rather than work adeptly with it.
- 11. Clarify list items Original: new environment, people and their roles Suggested revision: new environment, new colleagues and new roles Why it matters: The revised nouns identify the workplace elements consistently and clearly.
- 12. Clarify the effect Original: make them sick in responding to the situation Suggested revision: make them less responsive to new situations Why it matters: The original phrase is not idiomatic and obscures the intended effect of routine.
Suggested Rewrites
- changes are eternal which brings change is inevitable and brings
- aspiration aspirations
- a humiliation humiliation
- Although, some people Some people
- who are leading a luxurious life who lead a luxurious life
- because of which they lost causing them to lose
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response offers substantial discussion of why people may seek or resist change and uses separate paragraphs to move through those perspectives. However, the position becomes diffuse, several examples are exaggerated or only loosely connected, and frequent language errors blur the logic. The main priority is to state a precise central view and develop fewer, more credible examples through controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both attitudes to change receive relevant discussion, but the final position is somewhat diffuse and some supporting examples are weakly connected.
Define a clear central judgement about accepting change and make every example directly support that judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and broad progression are evident, but overused transitions, fragments, and lengthy sentences sometimes disrupt the logical flow.
Use a clear topic sentence in each body paragraph and connect supporting sentences without repetitive transitional phrases.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a reasonably broad vocabulary, though frequent inappropriate collocations and imprecise choices reduce clarity.
Prefer accurate, familiar expressions for the effects of change instead of forcing ambitious words into unsuitable contexts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted throughout, but frequent agreement, article, punctuation, and sentence-completion errors weaken accuracy.
Break long constructions into complete sentences and systematically check articles, verb forms, and clause boundaries.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that changes in their lives are essential, while others, however, are uncomfortable with change, and prefer to continue living in the same place or working in the same job, etc.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.