Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?
Sample Response
There is an ongoing debate about whether competition or cooperation yields better outcomes in academic, professional, and personal settings. While some argue that collaboration fosters growth, others believe that competition drives excellence. This essay will discuss both perspectives, but I assert that competition brings more positive results.
On the one hand, those who favour cooperation highlight its role in promoting teamwork and shared success. Collaboration enables individuals to exchange ideas and support one another, fostering creativity and collective problem-solving. For example, study groups often help students understand complex concepts through discussion and mutual assistance. In professional settings, cooperative projects leverage diverse skills to achieve superior outcomes, as seen in successful tech companies where cross-functional teams drive innovation. Cooperation nurtures interpersonal skills, teaching individuals to resolve conflicts and work harmoniously towards common goals.
On the other hand, competition is a powerful motivator that encourages individuals to reach their full potential. In schools, competitive environments push students to excel, knowing that recognition and rewards await top performers. For instance, academic competitions such as Olympiads drive students to sharpen their skills and broaden their knowledge. Similarly, in the workplace, competition inspires employees to improve their productivity and performance, knowing that promotions and bonuses are awarded based on merit. Furthermore, competitive experiences teach resilience and the ability to handle pressure, which are essential life skills for both personal and professional growth.
In conclusion, while cooperation nurtures teamwork and collaboration, competition serves as a catalyst for personal and professional development. The drive to outperform others often leads to groundbreaking achievements and self-improvement. Therefore, I believe that competition, with its ability to inspire excellence and perseverance, is a more powerful force for progress.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural debate phrase Original: about Suggested revision: over Why it matters: “Debate over whether” is the more natural collocation for a disputed alternative.
- 2. Clarify vague development Original: collaboration fosters growth Suggested revision: collaboration promotes development Why it matters: “Development” conveys improvement more precisely than the broad metaphor “growth.”
- 3. Use concise comparison Original: competition brings more positive results Suggested revision: competition produces greater benefits Why it matters: “Produces greater benefits” expresses the comparison more directly and formally.
- 4. Use concise group label Original: those who favour cooperation Suggested revision: advocates of cooperation Why it matters: The noun phrase identifies the group more economically.
- 5. Use direct sharing verb Original: exchange Suggested revision: share Why it matters: “Share ideas” is more direct and natural than “exchange ideas” in this cooperative context.
- 6. Use natural project wording Original: cooperative projects leverage diverse skills Suggested revision: collaborative projects draw on diverse skills Why it matters: Projects naturally “draw on” skills, and “collaborative” is precise in this context.
- 7. Use formal industry term Original: tech Suggested revision: technology Why it matters: “Technology companies” is more formal than the shortened label “tech companies.”
- 8. Avoid familiar cliché Original: reach their full potential Suggested revision: perform at their best Why it matters: The revision states the intended high performance directly.
- 9. Clarify incentive link Original: recognition and rewards await top performers Suggested revision: top performers can earn recognition and rewards Why it matters: The active clause makes the relationship between performance and incentives explicit.
- 10. Use concise possession Original: improve their productivity and performance Suggested revision: improve productivity and performance Why it matters: The possessive determiner is unnecessary because the employees are already the subject.
- 11. Remove semantic repetition Original: nurtures teamwork and collaboration Suggested revision: promotes teamwork Why it matters: “Teamwork” and “collaboration” overlap, so one precise term is sufficient.
- 12. Use measured claim Original: groundbreaking Suggested revision: significant Why it matters: “Significant” preserves the positive claim without the absolute force of “groundbreaking.”
Suggested Rewrites
- about over
- collaboration fosters growth collaboration promotes development
- competition brings more positive results competition produces greater benefits
- those who favour cooperation advocates of cooperation
- exchange share
- cooperative projects leverage diverse skills collaborative projects draw on diverse skills
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its balanced, logically developed treatment of cooperation and competition, with clear examples from education and employment and a consistent personal position. Its main limitation is that some claims about competition’s benefits are broad and the daily-life dimension receives little direct attention. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify the comparison and explain when competition produces better outcomes than cooperation in a specific everyday context.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses both views fully, sustains a clear preference, and supports its ideas with relevant examples.
Address daily life more explicitly and qualify the claim that competition generally produces superior results.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced coherently, with focused body paragraphs and clear progression within each argument.
Create a sharper logical bridge between the benefits described and the final comparative judgment in favour of competition.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and well suited to discussing motivation, teamwork, achievement, and personal development.
Replace a few broad promotional phrases such as powerful force for progress with more measured, context-specific wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response demonstrates flexible control of complex clauses and consistently accurate sentence construction.
Maintain this accuracy while varying participial and subordinate-clause patterns to make the prose still less formulaic.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.