Studying business or science-related subjects at the university level is more important than arts-related courses like literature. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Initially, students select their electives as per their interests and ability. A few of them believed that they could learn science or business forms, and after completing their graduation or post-graduation, they get their desired employment. However, it is undeniably true that, for successful completion, students must show cumulative efforts and impressive financial support. In addition, these students can easily flaunt their capacities in the realm of finance, medical, technology and engineering.
Additionally, it is undeniably true that arts and literature streams are essential parts of our society. Poets, writers, and teachers are developing their careers through these streams. Compared with science forms background, those who literally get support from arts are comparatively contributing more to society. Because they are closely interrelated to society with different art and literature forms. Furthermore, most universities provide equal weightage for each and every subject, and they consider equality in every level of learning.
In conclusion, it is unavoidable true that all the subjects had their own priority and importance in society. Maybe, the proportion of getting the job fluctuates because of their electives. However, for learning poems, plays and drama, individuals should incite art and literature streams.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Keep present tense Original: A few of them believed Suggested revision: Some of them believe Why it matters: The essay discusses a current general belief, so the present tense is required.
- 2. Name academic subjects Original: learn science or business forms Suggested revision: study science or business subjects Why it matters: Students study subjects; “forms” does not name fields of university study here.
- 3. Use academic terms Original: after completing their graduation or post-graduation Suggested revision: after completing their undergraduate or postgraduate studies Why it matters: The revised terms correctly refer to the programmes students complete.
- 4. Express future possibility Original: get their desired employment Suggested revision: can obtain their desired jobs Why it matters: The modal “can” expresses the claimed possible result and “jobs” is more natural here.
- 5. Correct the collocation Original: show cumulative efforts Suggested revision: make sustained efforts Why it matters: People “make efforts,” and “sustained” expresses effort maintained over time.
- 6. Choose a neutral verb Original: flaunt their capacities Suggested revision: demonstrate their abilities Why it matters: “Flaunt” implies boastful display, while “demonstrate” fits academic and professional ability.
- 7. Make the list parallel Original: medical Suggested revision: medicine Why it matters: The list requires nouns for each field, so “medicine” should replace the adjective “medical.”
- 8. Use concise academic wording Original: provide equal weightage for each and every subject Suggested revision: give equal weight to every subject Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the same idea more naturally and concisely.
- 9. Use the adjective form Original: unavoidable Suggested revision: unavoidably Why it matters: The adverb “unavoidably” is needed to modify the adjective “true.”
- 10. Keep present tense Original: had Suggested revision: have Why it matters: The statement concerns subjects in society generally, so the present tense is appropriate.
- 11. Clarify employment prospects Original: the proportion of getting the job fluctuates because of their electives Suggested revision: employment prospects fluctuate depending on their electives Why it matters: The revised phrase clearly expresses variation in the likelihood of obtaining work.
- 12. Use the correct verb Original: incite art and literature streams Suggested revision: pursue arts and literature courses Why it matters: Students pursue courses; “incite” means provoke an action and cannot express studying a field.
Suggested Rewrites
- A few of them believed Some of them believe
- learn science or business forms study science or business subjects
- after completing their graduation or post-graduation after completing their undergraduate or postgraduate studies
- get their desired employment can obtain their desired jobs
- show cumulative efforts make sustained efforts
- flaunt their capacities demonstrate their abilities
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s strongest feature is its recognition that science, business, and arts subjects can all contribute to employment and society. However, the position is only indirectly established, ideas are briefly developed, and the response is substantially under the expected length; frequent awkward wording and grammar also weaken clarity. The highest-priority improvement is to state a direct disagreement, then support it with two fully explained comparative arguments and relevant examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses both subject areas and implies disagreement, but its position is not consistently explicit and supporting ideas remain limited.
State a clear position in the introduction and develop two reasons with specific explanations or examples in at least 250 words.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides a basic progression, but relationships between claims are sometimes unclear and linking is repetitive or mechanical.
Give each body paragraph one controlling idea and connect every supporting sentence directly to that idea.
Lexical Resource
Some relevant academic vocabulary is attempted, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations obscure the intended meaning.
Choose familiar, precise expressions and review collocations such as science subjects, career prospects, and pursue arts courses.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is some structural variety, but frequent errors in tense, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries reduce control.
Keep verb tense consistent and revise fragments and agreement errors before adding more complex sentence patterns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Studying business or science-related subjects at the university level is more important than arts-related courses like literature. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.